A few weeks ago I had a birthday. It was a big one. As in, the big 3-0. I joked around the weeks leading up to my birthday and said things like, “I don’t know how I feel about turning 30” and “Can I just say I’m 29 and 13 months instead?”
The thing is that I was being honest when I said I didn’t know how I felt about it. I truly wasn’t having a complete freak-out about it, but I also wasn’t thrilled. I just knew I was now leaving my 20′s and entering the 30′s. And, that was what bothered me a bit. The fact that I could no longer say I was in my 20′s. I was leaving behind an entire decade!
Everyone I talked to said the same things: “The 30′s are the best” and “You’ll see that the 30′s are better than the 20′s.” While that may be true, my 20′s weren’t so bad either. I graduated college, got married, and had my baby girl – all in my 20′s. Plus, there’s the whole “I still feel young” thing. Don’t laugh, but for some reason 30 is the official number in my head for leaving young and crossing over into old. I realize this doesn’t make sense.
However, it’s the idea that was in my head. I felt like leaving my 20′s meant I was also saying good-bye to my youth. My fun, lighthearted, young 20′s were now going to be in the past. Saying “I’m in my 30′s” seemed so much different than saying “I’m in my 20′s.”
Even so, I understand that 30 is really just a number. I know it doesn’t mean I’m old. I know it will be what I make of it. But, part of me couldn’t help but feel the way I did.
Obviously, the day that I actually turned 30 wasn’t so bad. It’s not like I felt a sudden change, of course. In the weeks since my birthday, I haven’t actually had the need to say “I’m 30″ yet. Maybe when I do it will become a reality for me. Because so far? I still feel 29.
Wonder how long that will last?