Apparently it’s not ALL Sugar and Spice

by Melanie Edwards on July 8, 2009 · 10 comments

in Baby Girl

My daughter has begun to show a bit of a mean streak. She has started to say things like:

  • Go away mom!
  • I don’t like you.
  • He looks creepy.

And the killer. Just this morning she said, “I don’t love you anymore mommy.”

Now, I realize that she’s probably just testing out some new feelings, vocabulary, or something. I realize she’s picking up some of this from outside our home.

But, still? It hurts.

I don’t want my baby girl to be mean. And much less do I want her to say mean things to me.

So while I fight internally between “letting her express herself” and doing things the old school way to let her know i’s wrong, what will my baby girl turn into? Is she going to be one of those “mean girls”?

How do I ensure that she gets the right message and learns that saying such things hurts people’s feelings?

And why am I dealing with this at the age of 3? Aren’t little girls supposed to be all sweet and sugary and like chocolate marshmallows on a rainbow cloud?

sigh

Maybe I’ll just keep saying “I love you.”

A lot.

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Debbie Gonzalez July 8, 2009 at 7:28 am

Ay! Dios Mio! I’m going through the same thing with my three year old daughter, Princess Demon Spawn! I will be watching these comments to try to figure out what to do about this issue. I’m so lost on what to do! I feel you, mami!

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2 Melanie (Modern Mami) July 11, 2009 at 2:21 pm

@Debbie Gonzalez, In a way, hearing my lil girl is not the only one, really really helps. Thanks, Debbie. I hope both your girl and mine grow out of it QUICK!

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3 @mami2mommy July 8, 2009 at 10:02 am

Lo siento. My son is 7 months old and I dread the day that he says the things your daughter is telling you. But be strong! She will be out of that phase before you know it.

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4 Melanie (Modern Mami) July 11, 2009 at 2:21 pm

@@mami2mommy, I hope so! Your boy will probably never say that to you. I think it’s a girl thing. ;)

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5 Jenny, Bloggess July 8, 2009 at 10:57 am

You’re just getting it out of the way now. When the rest of us have horrible teenagers who are trying to stab us yours will be all sweet and have her angst resolved before she turns four. If anything you should feel lucky. I think.

Also, my sister used to say that to my mom and she would smile and say “I know you don’t mean that and I love you too” and she’d keep saying it until my sister finally got pissed off and stopped saying “I hate you” because she knew it would just lead to more “I love you’s”. Not sure if that sort of reverse psychology works on 3 year olds though.

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6 Melanie (Modern Mami) July 11, 2009 at 2:22 pm

@Jenny, Bloggess, God, I hope you’re right. If I had a guarantee that the teenage years will be blissful, I’ll stop worrying about this now.

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7 Miss Britt July 11, 2009 at 12:45 pm

There is absolutely no way that you could raise a mean person.

I promise.

This? Is normal. Keep letting her know that what she says hurts – even when it hurts HER to hear that and therefore breaks YOUR heart to see her hurt. Remember it’s the good kind of hurt.

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8 Melanie (Modern Mami) July 11, 2009 at 2:24 pm

@Miss Britt, Did Emma go through this too?

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9 Miss Britt July 11, 2009 at 2:46 pm

@Melanie (Modern Mami), they both have. In fact, there are times when they still do.

Being aware of other people’s feelings, etc. isn’t necessarily something that we are born with. Some people are more sensitive to it than others, of course. But a lot of that sensitivity is taught.

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10 Debbie Gonzalez January 22, 2010 at 9:05 am

Ay! Dios Mio! I'm going through the same thing with my three year old daughter, Princess Demon Spawn! I will be watching these comments to try to figure out what to do about this issue. I'm so lost on what to do! I feel you, mami!

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