Who Knew Choosing a Mattress When Married Could Be So Hard?

The battle of the sexes doesn’t go to sleep at bedtime, and in fact, choosing a mattress may be one of the most contentious decisions made between couples – after all, the mattress you choose, while not quite as paramount as buying a home or car, is still pretty important since the average person spends literally one-third of his or her life asleep. Choosing a mattress that is comfortable for both you and your spouse can be difficult because more often than not, one person prefers a softer mattress while the other prefers a firmer mattress. Do you find that to be true in your marriage?

In my marriage, it’s my husband who definitely likes a softer mattress, while I tend to like it a bit firmer, otherwise I feel like I’m sinking in. Several friends I talked to had similar experiences of marital discord when it came to mattress shopping:

• “Soft mattresses hurt my back, but my husband says a firm mattress feels like sleeping on the floor to him.” ~ Tracy, Latinaish.com
• “My husband can’t sleep at night in a soft bed and prefers a really firm mattress, but I hate it because it kills my back.” ~ Monica, MommyMaestra.com
• “I thought I liked soft mattresses, but because of my husband’s back pain issues I let him have his way and we got a firm mattress. I’m glad I did because now I love it!” ~ Denisse, AhorrosparaMama.com

Despite such drastic differences in opinion, there’s one thing you can both agree on – you need a mattress! So, what can you do? Here are a few tips to help ease the process and help ensure you’re both satisfied with your mattress purchase.

• As with anything else in marriage, you both need to come to the table (or mattress store, rather!) with a spirit of compromise. Accept that you probably won’t get your first choice and he won’t either – you’re going to have to meet in the middle.
• Decide on a budget and mattress size ahead of time to help narrow your focus. This way you can concentrate on comfort and support while trying the beds out in the store.
• Use the “SLEEP Test” recommended by BetterSleep.org:
  Select a mattress
  Lie down in your sleep position
  Evaluate the level of comfort and support
  Educate yourself about each selection
  Partners should try each mattress together
• Lastly, don’t be shy about trying mattresses in the store, no matter how silly you feel. Take the time to actually get into your usual sleep position to see how it feels and spend a few minutes there. A moment of embarrassment is worth it for a mattress that is comfortable for years to come.

My husband and I used the SLEEP test without even knowing about it when we selected our Serta iSeries mattress. We both tested out each mattress we considered at the same time, making sure to lie down in our normal sleep positions (each of us on alternating sides), but also moving around and lying down in other positions to be sure we felt comfortable all around. Hope these tips help you and your loved one get some restful sleep…buenas noches and sweet dreams!

How hard was it for you and your spouse to choose a mattress you both could agree on? Did it take you a long time to find one you liked?

Photo: Francesco Rachello/Flickr