Gifting a Smartphone to Your Tween This Holiday Season: Is it Right for Your Family?

– Enjoy this guest post on deciding if gifting a smartphone to your tween this holiday season is right for your family! –

As we trade in our pumpkins and autumn leaves for candy canes and snow drifts, our children automatically begin dreaming of Christmas. So while we are decking the halls with boughs of holly, our sons and daughters are carefully crafting their ideal wish list with sweet anticipation of gifts to unwrap on Christmas morning. Even though we can’t predict the new “it” toy, this year we know that many of our tweens will have smartphones ranked at the top of their lists. But, is gifting a smartphone to your tween right for your family?

Deciding If a Tween Is Smartphone Ready

Studies have found that 75 percent of children under eight already access smart devices and 78 percent of teens own a personal cell phone. With numbers like those, it’s easy to assume that our sons and daughters already possess a clear understanding and ability to navigate this technology. However, we need to realize that even though our kids can tap and swipe circles around us, they might not have the maturity or understanding needed to handle responsible digital citizenship.

After all, contrary to popular belief, our kids are not born with an innate ability to safely use technology or the Internet. It is our job to prepare and teach our children about the fast-paced world of high connectivity and unlimited access to social media. While our kids are dreaming of emojis and unlimited text messaging, we need to consider if our tweens are ready to handle unwrapping the responsibility that comes with owning a smartphone.

Before stuffing their stocking with a phone this holiday, ask yourself the following “yes” or “no” questions:

• Does my son or daughter regularly take care of their belongings?
• Can my child make good judgment calls in a variety of situations?
• Has our family discussed social media etiquette?
• Is my child able to understand social media etiquette and the impact their online behaviors might have on others and their future?
• Do we have a family policy about technology usage in our homes?

If you answered a majority of the above questions with a “yes,” it might be time to seriously contemplate gifting a smartphone to your tween. It might be difficult handing over a device that allows our kids to access the world at his or her fingertips that is full of cyberbullies, online predators, disappearing messages, and sexting. However, with a little preparation and proactive coaching we can relax this season and fulfill our child’s holiday dreams.

5 Ways to Dial Up Merry Smartphoning This Year

To help our kids safely adjust to owning a smartphone, we suggest the following tips:

1. Begin an ongoing conversation about the dangers lurking online and on social media. It might be awkward at first, but it is important to start a dialogue about the variety of problems that a child might encounter. These talks can empower children to avoid common smartphone pitfalls.
2. Develop a family technology contract. Consider a written document to outline expectations and consequences and get everyone on the same page. If used correctly, it can help prevent future disagreements and let children know what behaviors are acceptable.
3. When a child gets his or her first smartphone, help them adjust their privacy settings. It sounds simple, but many sites and apps are continuously updating their privacy settings. Take a few minutes to walk a child through the steps and ensure their private information is secure.
4. Check in on a child’s online and phone activity. Today, 70 percent of our teens hide their interactions from us. In the beginning, regularly check a child’s accounts and follow children online. As they mature and repeatedly show good judgment, you can back off and loosen the reigns. To make this job easier, ask children for their usernames and passwords or consider using monitoring software.
5. Limit technology access in the home. Keep smartphones and devices out of bedrooms or away from the family dinner table. By limiting cell phone usage in the home, you will provide children some much needed down time and help protect their sleep schedules.

Will you be gifting a smartphone to your tween this holiday season? Why or why not?

Amy Williams is a freelance journalist based in Southern California and mother of two. As a parent, she enjoys spreading the word on positive parenting techniques in the digital age and raising awareness on issues like cyberbullying and online safety.