Going Beyond Work-Life Balance Tools: A Look at Your Support System

by Melanie Edwards on July 14, 2010 · 16 comments

in Wahm,Working Mothers

Balancing

When it comes to work-life balance, we try many tools to help us balance our time. From planning meals and chore schedules, to sticking to a social media routine and creating a daily work-flow schedule, we often focus on the planning tools.

But, what about other resources?

I’ve often said to many, that one of the biggest maintaining balance “tools” I have is my husband. And, I don’t mean I use him to delegate tasks, either. More so, I mean that he offers something that all of the planning and productivity tools can’t. Support.

Yes, he offers support by being an equal parent and partner. Of course, he shares the household and parenting responsibilities. This, in and of itself, is a great help in maintaining balance in our lives. However, on a personal level, he offers support…to me, as his wife.

He supports my social media consulting business, my blogging, my goals, and my aspirations. Without that support, it would be much more difficult to accomplish what I do on a daily basis. And, I still have so much more to accomplish.

Imagine, though, if he did not support me. I would go through a daily battle against my parenting duties, my household duties, and my work…and have an added layer of stress because the person with whom I share my life does not support aspects of it.

I can’t even imagine.

So, I’m grateful that he does provide support – both tangible and emotional. I often joke with him that he is my business adviser. In so many ways…he really is.

Who helps you with that type of support?

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Susan Payton July 15, 2010 at 8:33 am

I agree that your spouse HAS to be one of the biggest tools for work-at-homers. He/she needs to understand that just because you were at home all day does not mean you did the laundry. Or that he/she can take a break and you can watch the kids. He/she needs to respect that you have a job (cool as it may be) and that you're equal partners in it. I'm lucky like you to have that, but not all of us do.

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2 modernmami July 15, 2010 at 8:47 am

Very good points Susan. These are all important things for a spouse to
remember & help in lending support.

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3 Rachel White July 15, 2010 at 10:07 am

Great post.. You are absolutely right about that. Support from your partner is just as important or more important than any other tool you may have available to you. A strong support system sees you through beyond any plan you have set forth. Although many go on without support of family and friends, I believe having that foundation gives you more upward mobility in every aspect of your life. There have been times I did not have a support system in place and it made it 10 times harder on me.

-Rachel

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4 modernmami July 15, 2010 at 10:12 am

Like you said, it's not impossible to be successful without the support;
many have done so and continue to do so. But, I just feel it's that much
harder. Thanks for sharing your personal perspective, having gone through
times of non-support.

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5 Genesis Davies July 15, 2010 at 11:56 am

My husband has definitely given me his support, though there were times when he didn't and it was SO hard. However, for the most part, he's been amazing, borrowing money to get me internet when we had to pay a year ahead, because he was confident that I could earn it back within a month, looking after our sons while I shut myself in the bedroom to meet deadlines, and running errands, even when he doesn't want to, because he knows it gives me more uninterrupted computer time. Just those little (and not so little) acts let me know that he is behind me 100%.

I think one of the most important things, too, is when you get discouraged and he's there to remind you that you CAN make things work and he really believes that.

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6 modernmami July 15, 2010 at 12:02 pm

Genesis, thanks for sharing your personal experience. Those are great
details that can go a long way. As you said, the little things, let you know
so much often.

I agree that the encouragement I get, and sometimes the honest and brutal
criticism, is what helps me know he truly wants me to be successful and in
turn, helps me grow – personally and professionally.

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7 Angelica @ Modern Familia July 16, 2010 at 9:33 am

I agree, Melanie. Being able to do it all requires more than just balancing and special tricks — we need support from our family, friends and community. We've talked about how similar our husbands are in terms of being hands on as fathers. My husband is also my support system. In fact, I call him my mentor and my buddha. He is so good at giving me direction and thinking outside the box. He is the one I normally come to first. Having said that, I do have great friends and my sister, who are also always there for me to help me balance it all out!

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8 Tracy Lopez July 16, 2010 at 4:00 pm

It makes all the difference in the world – whether your partner supports what you do. My husband is USUALLY supportive ;)

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9 HillsofAfrica July 20, 2010 at 2:42 pm

Great post! It is a blessing to have a husband that is supportive of all of your efforts, needs, and wants. I am also lucky enough to have a caring husband. I wouldn't trade out that support system for the world.

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10 Rachel White July 20, 2010 at 9:08 pm

Hey there,

Hope all is well. I know I already commented on this post but I just wanted you to know that I gave you the Sunshine Award!

Check it out:)

http://mylifesimpleandbeautiful.blogspot.com/20

Best,
Rachel

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11 Ana Lilian Flores July 21, 2010 at 11:14 pm

Definitely my husband. Just the fact that he has stuck by me through all my locuras and has been my biggest fan is support enough. He truly believes in me and that makes my unstoppable! ;)

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12 Ana Lilian Flores July 21, 2010 at 11:14 pm

Definitely my husband. Just the fact that he has stuck by me through all my locuras and has been my biggest fan is support enough. He truly believes in me and that makes my unstoppable! ;)

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13 Ana Lilian Flores July 21, 2010 at 6:14 pm

Definitely my husband. Just the fact that he has stuck by me through all my locuras and has been my biggest fan is support enough. He truly believes in me and that makes my unstoppable! ;)

Reply

14 Ana Lilian Flores July 21, 2010 at 7:14 pm

Definitely my husband. Just the fact that he has stuck by me through all my locuras and has been my biggest fan is support enough. He truly believes in me and that makes my unstoppable! ;)

Reply

15 Prerna October 1, 2010 at 1:38 am

Hi Melanie, am a new visitor and I love your fresh, upfront style of writing. Thanks for being real and honest.
Ok,support system. Like the others, I’d have to say my husband and yes, being able to delegate chores such as ironing clothes to someone who charges a nominal amount for it. :-)

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16 modernmami October 3, 2010 at 2:34 pm

Hi Prerna, thank you very much for the comments on my writing. I am glad to
hear my style is appreciated by folks.

It’s great to see that so many husbands are supportive!

Reply

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