Last week, when I heard Yahoo’s CEO Marissa Mayer was going to put a ban on telecommuting, I didn’t get why it caused such an uproar. I kind of admire Mayer for making that call. I’m a working mother. I have a special needs child. And I do not work from home.

I work for one of the largest media companies in the world, a place ranked as one of the best places to work for women , specifically working mothers. And I suppose that is true – but, only for some mothers.

Shared Motherhood, Different Lifestyles

My boss and I were pregnant at the same time. We are about the same age. We have the same hour-long commute – except in opposite directions. When my boss entered her sixth month of pregnancy, she started working from home two days a week. I worked almost to the end.

In my eighth month of pregnancy, there was a transit strike. During those few days, I came into the office with my husband (a FedEx employee) who drove into work with his coworkers. I was in the office by 6 in the morning and didn’t leave until after six in the evening – when my husband got out of work. I did this for several days – with no overtime, not even a thank you for making the effort to come in. At this point, my boss was working remotely five days a week.

I returned to work from maternity leave in early May, my boss did too – except she worked remotely for another month before returning to the office. I left my baby with a neighbor, while she had a nanny coming to her house. When my boss returned to work, she explained that she would be working remotely two days a week. She was breastfeeding and needed the time to bond with her child.

Two years later, my boss stopped breastfeeding, but continued to work remotely. Her son was enrolled in classes during the week and she wanted to be as involved as possible. “These are the most important years – I want to be there for him as much as I can,” she said.

I would have liked that option too. But, I came into the office 5 days a week – if I worked through my lunch, I was allowed to leave at 4:30 instead of 5:30.

No Flexible Options for Most

When my son was diagnosed with autism, I went into my boss’ office – crying, overwhelmed and uncertain of what to do. My son’s therapy required 15 – 20 hours per week of home-based therapy. I remember asking if I could work from home temporarily – at least one day a week so that I could be involved and he could get the maximum amount of therapy. My boss explained that working from home could not be an option for me – “Your job requires you to be in the office,” she said. The best she could do was reduce my work hours, which would impact my salary and vacation time. It was an option I couldn’t afford.

I was lucky I had my mother who was willing to help, that my husband worked less hours (making less money) and that I found a therapist willing to work later hours in the day, so I can at least catch the last thirty minutes of her therapy sessions.

Our sons are now seven years old, and my boss still works from home two (sometimes three) days a week. On her work-from-home days, she gets to take her son to school and pick him up. She schedules medical appointments, signs her son up for after-school activities, volunteers at her son’s school as a helping parent, and chaperones class trips and runs errands.

On her “work-from-home” days, she takes care of all the things that require me to take vacation time.

Having a child with special needs requires many appointments; many of my vacation days are spent sitting in waiting rooms. If the tables were reversed – if my boss’ son had special needs – she’d never take a vacation day for an appointment. She’d never have to choose between working and being there for her child; she’d get to be involved in everything.

Earlier this year, my son’s school bus company was on strike. My son’s school is more than twenty miles away from our home and with limited options, I was forced to choose between going to work and sending my son to school. Within two weeks, I took four vacation days, struggling to get my son to and from school.

With no idea how long the strike would last, I asked my boss about options. I knew better than to ask for a work from home option but in such an extreme case, it would have been a great option to have. Once again, there was nothing my boss could do except offer me time off without pay. And then we discussed her schedule for the following week – she was switching her work from home days because it was her son’s birthday and she was going to his school to celebrate. (Insensitive much?)

Working From Home a Privilege, for Some

Working from home is a privilege, a luxury offered to a woman like my boss – a working mother with a six-figure salary who has a nanny, a housekeeper and a husband with a six-figure salary. And my boss has me – an administrative assistant – who faxes and photocopies her son’s insurance forms, prints out her holiday card labels and other personal things that have absolutely nothing to do with the company. She doesn’t have time for these things, she says.

My boss isn’t the only working mother in our office who has the privilege to work from home and be there for her children. Other high level executives have that option, while their assistants come into the office five days a week, leaving their children with babysitters, daycare centers, and after-school programs. To say this blatant inequality in the office causes resentment and animosity among working mothers is an understatement. The message sent to the lower income working mothers? Some women’s children matter and others don’t.

I know this isn’t the reasoning behind Marissa Mayer’s decision to have all employees return to the office. But this ‘uproar about working mothers’ speaks only to a certain demographic of women. Unless companies are willing to provide all employees with the option to work from home and/or flexible work arrangements, then it shouldn’t be offered at all.

Photo: Victor1558/Flickr

Life with two kids is hectic. I thought my energetic 5-year-old kept me busy enough, but it’s ten times worse now. My days are full of too many diaper changes to count, slobbery shirts, and constant noise. That’s what gets to me the most I think. The noise. And, it’s not even coming from the baby, really! Instead, the majority of the noise comes from my daughter.

I’m accustomed to baby noise. He cries, I figure out what’s bothering him, fix it, and we move on. But with her, it’s constant attention these days. It’s always, “Mommy, look at this,” or “Mommy, should I put this dress or this one on my doll?” or any other form of calling my attention. This is not during the times we are playing together, but rather during the designated “mommy is working and you need to keep busy” times.

You see, she used to attend preschool five days a week from 9-5. However, we had to cut back and she’s now attending only 3 hours each day. When you account for driving time to drop her off and pick her up, I only get 2 hours each day without her home with me. I’m still trying to adjust to the change.

I’ve attempted a variety of ways to keep her busy so that I can get some work done each day. From following a similar schedule to the one at her preschool, to letting her play games on the laptop while I work on another computer. They work for a bit, but without fail, she will come up to me to ask questions or simply to tell me about the activity she’s doing – like a narrator.

I love that she shares so much with me and definitely don’t want to discourage that. After all, less than 10 years from now she’ll be in her prime teenage years and will probably not want to share anything with me. So, of course, I want to create a habit of healthy conversation. But, I do need to get some work done. No work, no income.

I even explained that to her, “If mommy doesn’t get any work done, then I won’t get paid. I need to get paid so we can pay for food, clothes, our house and all the nice things you have.” Yesterday I took a different approach and compared my work deadlines to homework: “I have to be sure I get this work done today. It’s like your homework. If you don’t turn it in the day it’s due, that’s no good, right? So, it’s the same with my work.” And, she actually understood and responded with “If you don’t turn it in, you might get fired!”

But, alas, here we are again another day with her seeing me working and still talking to me just as much. I really hate to have to say, “Just be quiet so I can get some work done!” It seems like that may be where we’re headed, though.

That’s why I want to know what works for you. What are your tricks for getting some work done while your kids are home with you? Share your best tips for entertaining the kids when working from home!

Guest Post by Lisa Kanarek

Running a household can be more demanding than running a business. When your personal life and your business life are in the same place, technology is one of the best ways to manage all aspects of your life. Faster, better and easier-to-use technology is available and more affordable than before. The dilemma isn’t whether there’s technology available to help you be more productive, it’s knowing which technology to use.

Finding the right computer

Technology changes often and trying to keep up with the latest computer is challenging, but not impossible.  When you’re shopping for a desktop computer or a laptop, decide what you want it to do. Will you use it mostly for sending and answering emails, for handling word processing, or for doing design and layout projects? When you know your business needs, find the right computer to handle each task. No matter what tasks you’ll be handling, buy more memory than you think you’ll need. Eventually you’ll use it. Also, whether you buy a computer online or through a retailer, make sure technical support is only a phone call or an immediate appointment away.

Picking a Printer

A good printer can make you look good to your clients and prospects, while an unreliable machine can affect your business image. When you’re looking for a printer, find out the paper capacity. The more paper a printer holds, the less time you’ll spend having to add more.  Also, look at the “footprint,” or the amount of desktop space it needs, including the paper tray and make sure you have enough room for it. I really like the Brother MFC-J615W because it has a compact, modern design that doesn’t take up a lot of space, and it looks great in any home office.

A Reliable Backup System

If you damage your computer — I slipped and fell while holding my laptop — you can replace the hardware fairly easily. The data however, may not be as easy to replace. A good investment you can make is in a reliable backup system.  You can choose between removable media drives (thumb drives) or external hard drives.  Remember to test your backup system often to make sure you’ve actually saved your information.  Also, keep two copies of your backed up data in different places, away from your home office.

Protecting Your Investment

You never know when your power may go out or when you may experience a power surge. Protect your equipment by using a surge protector. Go one step further by investing in an Uninterrupted Power Source (UPS).  A UPS gives you at least five minutes to backup what you’re doing before the power goes out.

Voice Mail

Whether you use your cell phone for business or install a separate business line, make sure you’re the only person who answers your phone (unless you have an assistant). Family members, especially teenagers, aren’t always the best at taking messages. Test your outgoing message to make sure there aren’t any noises in the background that you didn’t notice while you were recording your message.

Keeping up with the latest technology is challenging and at times, frustrating.  By finding the right equipment to meet your needs, you’ll be able to keep up with technology and furnish your home office with equipment that will help you stay productive.

Lisa Kanarek is one of the nation’s leading home office experts and the author of five books including, Working Naked: A guide to the bare essentials of home office life and Home Office Solutions. She is the founder of HomeOfficeLife, a firm that advises corporations and individuals on all aspects of working from home and is founder of the blog WorkingNaked.com.

Have you designated a formal space in your home as a home office? Do you have the necessary technology for doing your work?

Disclosure: Affiliate links were used throughout this post.

Last week, I unplugged four out of the five weeknights. After 4:30/5 pm, I was off the computer and remained off. One night I was forced to unplug, but that’s another story you can read about on 40weeks Plus. However, what I realized last week was how great unplugging can be. I still think I got lots done – work-wise anyway, not in the home – but, I don’t feel overly spent.

Something else I found myself doing was connecting with my husband in small ways. Nothing major – but, I would catch myself staring at him, admiring the hard work he does to be a good father and husband. I found myself actually missing him and yearning to be near him. It brought back memories of those intense, passionate, and highly emotional days when we were only sixteen and learning to love each other.

Wonderful, isn’t it?

My unplugging continued through the long holiday weekend. I don’t think I opened the laptop more than once over the three day weekend, rarely checked in on email on my phone, and only tweeted once or twice over the weekend. While it wasn’t 100% unplugged, anyone who knows about working from home, especially in social media, knows it really was unplugging compared to a normal day.

And, not surprisingly, my world is not turned upside down. Sure, I have a few more emails to answer than I did on Friday afternoon, but nothing urgent. Yes, I could have gotten ahead on blog writing for this week, but all will not be lost. Instead, I have a weekend full of family time to show for it and many laughs that were shared. If only the house had cleaned itself while we were having fun this weekend…

Very timely, as I was going through my google reader account yesterday, these two posts were there waiting for me to read:

• The Importance of Soul Work for Bloggers and Businesswomen
• Productivity & Quality Down Time: They Go Hand in Hand

How did you spend your holiday weekend? Did you celebrate Labor Day as I did by taking a day off?

Since I started working from home, I’ve had to deal with a few comments regarding my new work life. Comments such as:

“Well…she’s not working right now.”

“How much work do you have to do every day?”

“How’s the job search going?”

Different scenarios and conversations caused the comments to be said to me or about me; some were not said in my presence. But, the fact is that while many friends and family have been supportive of my decision to pursue freelance and consulting instead of the standard 9-5 job, there are others who don’t quite understand it. They think I’m looking for a replacement traditional job. They wonder what I do each day. They don’t always understand why I say that yes, in fact, I am quite busy – even at home.

I’ve dealt with the comments and explained that no, I’m not looking to go back to working outside the home. And, yes, I do quite a bit each day, because building a business and doing freelance work, is in fact, work. I understand that it will take some time for everyone to become accustomed to my new work at home status, so it doesn’t bother me. Really…part of me is still getting used to it myself.

As I was thinking about this more, I decided I’d open up the topic for a round-table-type discussion. I want to open it up to you and hear how you have dealt with such comments.

Do you have friends and family that don’t quite get it? Share with us in the comments about your experiences.

Last week I posted a message on twitter and facebook about being happy with my daily work from home routine. Specifically, it looked like this:

Many responded that they wanted in on the secret and wondered if I would share what I’m doing. Though my routine is not extraordinarily different than most, I’ll go ahead and share my new schedule that is helping me to feel balanced. Keep in mind that this is a sample of an extremely smooth and good day. Some days my schedule adjusts to my personal mood or those interruptions we often have to deal with. However, the days that I follow this routine, are the days that I feel my best and feel like I truly have achieved work-life balance – for that day at least.

Photo by Joshua Stevens from Flickr

Sample Daily Routine for Work at Home Moms (WAHM)

• 6-8 am: This is wake up and get ready time. I’m not always up at 6 am – most days it’s closer to 7 am, but the plan is to be up, dressed, and get baby girl ready for school by 8 am. She helps a lot by getting herself dressed (most times I pick out the clothes for her the night before) and not dragging her feet when eating breakfast.
• 8-9 am: It doesn’t normally take an hour to drop off baby girl at preschool and get back. But, I like to allow some padding room in my schedule. So, as long as I’m home by 9 am, the rest of the day will flow more smoothly.
• 9-10 am: This is my time to work out and eat breakfast. I recently started exercising using my Wii and have found that if I get my work out done early in the day, it helps set my mood for the day and gives me a little boost of energy to keep going. The days I waited to do my work out later in the day or even in the evening, I had to force myself to exercise and I felt like I was dragging during the day.
• 10 am – 1 pm: This is when the bulk of my work is done. Whether it’s client work or blog-related work for myself, I try to do most during this time. I may not get all that I would hope to get done in this time, but if I can make progress each day, at the end of the week, I feel like I accomplished much.
• After 1 pm I grab some lunch, shower, and get to doing something for the house. Notice, I did not say I “clean the house.” No, instead I do something for the house. Even if it’s just one thing. For example, I can put a load of clothes to wash, or fold another load, or do the dishes.
• This normally brings me to about 3 pm at which point I try to get a head start on dinner. I also go back on the laptop and check in again on email and various social media sites to answer any comments, manage followers, etc.
• Around 5 pm, I wrap up for the day and either go pick up baby girl from school or wait for my husband and her to get home, if he picks her up.
• The rest of the evening is spent doing the dinner/family thing, along with the nightly bath-bed routine for baby girl. After that, the husband and I have some time together. Sometimes this means watching a movie or playing video games together, and other times this time consists of me on the laptop doing more work while he does something else. But, we’re still talking and interacting together.

Why is this schedule working for me?

The reason, simply, is that it contains a little of everything. I am able to work on the house, the blog, client work, and exercise. Though I didn’t spend all day on any one activity, I still got things done and overall feel like there was a good balance of things in my day. For me, it works. And again, I have to stress that not every day goes according to plan. There are days that I don’t get much done around the house because I have priority work that has to be done. Or days that I don’t do much work and concentrate on cleaning the house, if I feel like it’s slipping.

For those who have kids at home with them since they don’t go to preschool/school, you’ll probably have many changes to such a schedule. I know the days I’ve kept my daughter home from preschool, I had to tweak my routine to fit in activities with her. But, I involved her in the cleaning and exercise parts of the day and used my night hours more to compensate for the lost work time during the day.

I hope that in sharing my daily routine, you find some things you can change in yours to feel more balanced. Remember that the most important thing to keep in mind – and the one that has helped me the most – is that you don’t have to do everything in one day. But, doing a little of each will help you feel productive without losing your sanity.

What does your daily routine look like? Share with us in the comments below what you’ve found works for you and let’s all help each other find our personal work-life balance.

You might also like: 5 Tips for Working from Home for the WAHM.

Photo by Beth Sobel from Flickr

Today has been a very balanced day for me. I was able to work out this morning, did some client work, responded to a few emails, worked on this blog, and even put a load of laundry to wash. For me, that’s a great balance of taking care of myself, working, managing social media, and house work. It’s not much either – you notice I didn’t say I cleaned the entire house. Nor did I answer all emails. But, it was a good bit of each and I feel good with what I’ve accomplished today.

Of course, this is not an everyday occurrence. But, as I get more and more used to working from home, I find that I’m finding little things I can do to feel more balanced. Even if that means redefining what “balanced” means.

But, don’t take my word for it. Check out what others have to say about work-life balance and read their recommendations.

5 Resources with Tips for Finding or Improving your Work-Life Balance

5 Tips for Better Work-Life Balance from WebMD
Something that stuck out when reading this article was when the author said, “You would probably think twice before skipping out on work, a parent-teacher conference, or a doctor’s appointment. Your private time deserves the same respect.”

In other words, do not rearrange your free time and “squeeze in” something else. Treat it just like any other appointment in your calendar.

Work-life balance: Ways to restore harmony and reduce stress from Mayo Clinic
I loved when I got to the end of this piece and read, “Balance doesn’t mean doing everything.”

A lot of times we think that achieving work-life balance means being able to do it all. In fact, it should be about doing what’s important to you, and all that you’re comfortable doing.

Photo by yesterday_once_more0 704 from Flickr

Basic Steps Toward Work-Life Balance from Forbes
The author in this article talked to a staffing company, whose president, Loretta Penn, said: “You don’t have to respond to every e-mail or voice mail as soon as it comes in. Just because someone else deems something a priority doesn’t mean it’s yours.”

It’s a good reminder, especially for us digital moms that are constantly plugged in; just because an email alert popped up on your phone, it doesn’t mean the email has to be answered within 30 seconds. It can wait.

How to Find the Right Work-Life Balance: 6 Steps from Caroline Middlebrook
This was a blog post written in early 2008 by Caroline Middlebrook, who quit her day job in order to start an online business and now makes money blogging. In it she said, “If I’ve not spent enough time with family or not called a friend for a while I’ll get that nagging feeling in the back of my mind…When your life is all in balance you’ll feel good and when something isn’t right you’ll feel bad in some way.”

I know that from time to time I’ll get such a feeling and find myself reassessing the situation and even asking my husband for input. Many times, he confirms that I’ve been off in one area and concentrating too much on another. As the author suggests, trust your instincts.

Top 10 Ways to Balance Life and Work from About.com
This article is geared towards dads, but offers tips that are good for anyone. Tips such as: “Sometimes, the things that suffer in our busy lives have to do with our own personal health…Managing your personal health is essential to balancing work and life.”

I think all parents know about putting your own health last. This too, serves as a good reminder.

What personal tips or suggestions do you have for maintaining a little balance in your life? What have you found works for you?

Check out more work-life balance resources I’ve saved on delicious.

It’s been nearly two weeks since I left my full-time job and have been working from home. In the last two weeks, I’ve had days that were really really productive and days that were not very productive at all. In thinking back, there were things I did differently on those days that perhaps had an effect on my productivity. I realize now that just a few changes in my routine or habits for the day, provide me with a greater chance of getting things done. With that, I share with you my personal tips for working from home.

5 Tips for Working from Home for the WAHM (or anyone really)

1. No TV
   This should come as no surprise, but it’s worth repeating. If I try to work on the laptop and watch TV at the same time, one of the two suffers. So, what’s the point in wasting energy by having the TV as background noise if I’m concentrating on work? Or conversely, what’s the sense in having my work suffer because I keep pausing to look up at the TV? Choose one or the other. This will also help with saving money on the power bill.
2. Listen to Appropriate Music
   I am a person that needs music to be able to work. When working in total silence, my brain doesn’t function. I know, it’s a little contrary to how most people function. But, for me, the silence is ear splitting and doesn’t let me think straight. So, I always have music on. However, there are certain types of music that allow me to get more work done than others. I’ve found that lately, listening to more acoustic or chillout music has helped me when writing or when just brainstorming ideas. That’s a personal taste, but the idea is to find music that inspires you and help the ideas flow. You don’t want to be distracted by the music.
3. Sit at a Desk
   When I worked outside the home all day, I was accustomed to working on my social media and blogging business at night by sitting on the couch on my laptop. This worked fine at the time since it was only a couple of hours each night. But, now, I realize that the days I tried the same method, I didn’t get as much accomplished as the days that I sat down in a proper chair at a table. We have an actual office area with a desk, but it’s at the very back of the house and I’ve found our dining table more appealing since it’s in a brighter part of our house. If you have a desk and office space that you’ve made your own, then even better! Either way, though, sitting upright instead of slouching down into the comfy couch works much better.
4. Eat and Drink Properly
   I am the worst about this. I will go hours and hours and forget to eat. Or just plain ignore the hunger signs. I even tweeted about it. I get so caught up in the work, that getting up to get something to eat is pushed to the side sometimes. The same for drinking water or any fluids. But, that is so bad. So, I have to remind myself to take a break and get some food and a bottle of water. It helps me in not just feeding my brain so that I can continue to be productive, but also provides a quick mental break and has many times allowed for new ideas to flow.
5. Shower and Get Dressed
   This may seem ridiculous to include since I think we all know not to go around stinky and naked, but what I’m really saying is do this early in your day. The days I worked in my PJs and waited to shower until the afternoon, I felt out of it. I fed into the feeling and didn’t really do much. When I shower early on, it helps me feel refreshed and ready to get things going. And you don’t have to sit around your house dressed like you were going to a business meeting either – unless you want to. Just change out of your “bumming around the house” clothes.

So, go ahead. Try some of these simple ideas and see if you feel better about yourself during the day and in turn, get more done.

And, please, share any additional tips you have in the comments below.

***More resources on productivity I’ve saved on delicious***

I’m providing these Tips for Working from Home in a printable format for you to download and share with others. Feel free to share liberally by pointing back to this original post.

Photo credit: supershoppertoo

When the decision was made that I would leave my full-time outside the home job in order to work from home, the husband shared some of his requests with me:

1. Legs and armpits should be shaved at all times. – I think the idea behind this is that I’ll have more time alone to be able to do so instead of letting it go some days due to the rush.
2. Since I’ll be pursuing blogging and social media consulting full-time, I need to carve out time for our family. – Fair enough.
3. I need to bring in some money. – That’s the idea.

They are simple requests; some more serious than others, but all important to him. And, he might have more that he just did not express to me. You never know.

On the other hand, my initial expectations for myself looked like this:

1. My house should be cleaner now.
2. I should be able to cook every day.
3. Laundry will not pile up on the couch for days waiting to be folded.

That’s not to say I don’t have goals of making money and spending time with my family. Of course I do. They are just the obvious goals that didn’t need to be said. I knew about those, but somehow my brain felt it necessary to remind itself about those related to the house. They were the ones that would constantly cross my mind.

It’s interesting really. Perhaps it’s because I have a physical reminder as I walk across the house and it then becomes a tangible task.

Do you find your expectations differ from those of your spouse/partner? If you’ve made such a transition in your life, how did you adjust?

Fresh start.

It means something different to everybody. Some people get a second chance at life. Some survive a divorce. Others simply make a conscious effort to get rid of all the excess baggage they’re carrying.

For me, at this point in time, a fresh start would be a career change. Or more so, a change from working outside the home, to working from home.

This past week, I’ve been home with my baby girl all week due to a change in her childcare options and a transition to preschool. (She starts preschool for the first time ever next week.) Though there were times of frustration both for her and myself, overall it has been the greatest week I’ve had in a long time. It’s hard to believe that I currently deal with more drama at my workplace than I do in my personal life.

So, where am I going with all this?

Well, you and I have a chance at getting a fresh start of our own. The makers of CAREFREE® pantiliners are partnering with First30Days.com – experts at helping people through change – on a new program to help women turn that very common wish into a reality. Women who visit the campaign’s new Web site, CarefreeFreshStart.com, will find tips for making a fresh start and the chance to receive up to $10,000 through the CAREFREE® Fresh Start Fund.

I received a packet for review of the new CAREFREE® Ultra Protection™ pantiliners from Mom Central. You can get a free sample for yourself at CarefreeFreshStart. Now, I don’t normally use pantiliners. I honestly don’t see the point most of the time. Seems like a waste of money to have different levels of protection when most of the time, the one will do. That’s just my opinion. But, these pantiliners are a bit thicker. And, they have wings – for those of you who like that sort of thing.

• Did they do their job? Yes.
• Do they keep you fresh? Yes. (As long as you do what all women I know do and change them out periodically.)
• Will I buy them on my own? No. Remember that I just don’t see the point in having pads and pantiliners.

I do think it’s pretty cool of CAREFREE® to team up with Ariane de Bonvoisin from First30Days.com on this Fresh Start campaign. You may remember that I heard Ariane speak at this year’s Florida Conference for Women. She is a great speaker and very motivational. So she’s perfect for advising women on getting a fresh start.

Let me know in the comments below what a fresh start would mean to you. Or, if you’ve already had a fresh start in the past, what advice do you have to share?

And, don’t forget to enter the CAREFREE® Fresh Start Fund contest at CarefreeFreshStart.com. The deadline for submissions is today July 10, 2009.

Or, at least get a free sample of the new pantiliners.