Whenever my family gets together, inevitably stories of the past come up. My parents, their siblings, and friends love to reminisce about their younger years. It’s common to hear childhood tales of my mother and her sisters walking home from school through the narrow streets in Aguadilla, Puerto Rico and the people they’d run into. Or perhaps it’s my father sharing with us yet again how his father would take him along to work at Ramey Air Force Base and they’d listen to music together as my abuelo pressed the clothes. According to my dad, this is why he came to love music so much.

Regardless of what story is being shared, one thing remains constant. The joy on my parents’ face as they retell their memories is sure to bring you joy as well. Watching them and listening to their stories always made for an interesting evening. Even when they shared the sadder stories, like when I learned that my mom ate sopa de pan (breadcrumbs in broth) one too many times as a child, they still did so with excitement, nostalgia, and joy. They love to pass on their memories and personally, it gives me a lot of insight into our family’s history.

I still love to hear my parents tell their stories and occasionally ask them to share ones I have already heard many times. Each time, some small new detail they forgot to mention before comes to light. Hearing these stories provides a glimpse into what my parents were like as children and why they are the way they are today.

I suppose the same can be said for my husband and I. Nowadays, we find ourselves reminiscing on those early days before we got married – before the kids and hectic life we lead today. Our daughter seems to enjoy hearing our stories just as I enjoy my parents’. She will often ask us about our childhood or the time before she was born. “When you were little, did abuela read you bedtime stories?” she once asked. When I shared with her about the Quinceañero tradition and the party I had when I turned fifteen, she loved hearing all about it and looking at the photos in my album. It’s fun to see her take so much interest in the past and makes me want to share more.

Our baby girl shares her own stories too. Hers may not always be true, since she often makes up stories and plays pretend, but they are her stories nevertheless. And with her as a storyteller, you truly become immersed in the story. She gives lots of details and will sometimes act out what she’s saying. I suppose one day she’ll be sharing stories of her childhood with her own children.

Storytelling is what keeps things going in many ways. If you think about it, that is how we keep traditions alive and it was the only way of sharing history before we had books. By telling stories, we connect, we inform, we relate. That’s a lot of power for simply sharing what once was.

Do you enjoy sharing or listening to stories? What’s a favorite family story you love to hear?

Disclosure: This story is sponsored by Hallmark through their Life is a Special Occasion campaign. As always, all stories and opinions are my own.

Lately, I have been reflecting on some of the ways that I could expose my sons more to Latino culture. There are many ways that my husband and I model cultural practices at home such as the kinds of foods we cook and spices we use, the kinds of music we listen to, and the fact that we often speak to them in Spanish. However, I often wonder if all of this is enough. Sure, the boys know that they are Latino and that their parents and family are Latinos, but what exactly does that really mean to them?

My husband and I had totally different experiences than our sons growing up that better equipped us to truly understand and appreciate what being Latino means. I was raised in Spain by my grandparents until the age of 8 and spoke Spanish as my first language. My husband, who is of Puerto Rican and Cuban descent, was raised speaking Spanish at home here in the United States. He also lived and attended school in Puerto Rico for a number of years. There is really nothing that compares to being immersed in Latin culture and language by living in a native Spanish country. We learned exactly what it meant to be a Latino and the pride and culture of our people.

Our children are being raised here in the United States and are really Americanized at this point. They speak English fluently and prefer speaking English to their friends and in school. It seems like anything they value and understand is so removed from my fond memories of my childhood when it was a simpler time and we were bound together by our language and our cultural practices.  These days, young people think that eating rice and beans and listening to Reggaeton makes you a Latino, but there is so much more to us as a people.  It is the fabric of our culture that I am trying to impart to my children.  It is that pride that has propelled us through centuries of obstacles and strife.

I often wonder if I am doing a good job of passing on these cultural lessons and these feelings of pride to my boys.  Although we work very hard at home to instill these values in them, there are many things about our lifestyle that might be contradictory in the eyes of my children.  We live in an affluent neighborhood that is not very culturally diverse in terms of the ratio of Latino and African-American families to the Caucasian families that live here.  Actually, we are one of the few Latino families that live here and own our own home.  My children also attend a Parochial school close by that is not very culturally diverse.  As a matter of fact, there are only a handful of Latino children in both of my sons’ classes.

It’s almost as if the further we move away from our roots, the further we move away from the very things that we hold dear as Latinos, such as community and cultural unity.  As every new generation progresses, here in the United States, we are catapulted from those rich cultural practices of our past into the American way of life.  Most of us came here looking for opportunities and a better way of life and we definitely got those things.  Unfortunately, however, I believe that we somehow lost something along the way and it is this very thing, this essence of being Latin that is lacking in the younger generations.

That is why I am working very hard to raise my sons to be proud of whom they are and to be proud of being Latino.  I believe that you cannot know where you are going if you don’t know where it is that you came from.  It is not enough to remind my boys that they are Latin and to remind them that some of the things that we do are because we are Latin, we have to show them what it means to be a Latino.  Being a Latino includes a rich cultural heritage that is made up of an array of cultural practices that span across a vast network of native Spanish-speaking countries.  Although all Latinos do not originate from the same country, we have an unspoken brotherhood that binds us by way of a common language and a common history.  It is this pride and this brotherhood that I hope to teach my boys.  My hope is that my husband and I will be able to lay a foundation that will be strong enough to influence future generations of our family.  This is one of the legacies that we want to leave our children.

How do you maintain pride for your Latino heritage? If you have children, how do you help them feel proud of their Latino culture?

This post is part of a paid campaign.

Do you remember how old you were when your mother began teaching you how to clean? Or did she? I can’t really remember exactly how old I was when I began to learn. I do, however, have memories of being 8 or 9 years old and coming home after school to a list of chores that included tasks such as sweeping, vacuuming, and cleaning the bathroom.

It used to irk me to no end that I was expected to help with such chores, while my 16 year old brother was not. By that age we were no longer living in Puerto Rico, and being influenced by my new peers and their way of thinking, I would sometimes question why I had to clean and he did not. “Porque tú tienes que aprender como limpiar y cocinar para que cuando tengas tu propia casa y marido sepas mantenerla.” (Because you need to learn how to clean and cook so that when you have your own home and husband, you’ll know how to maintain it.) That was the answer I would receive from my mother and yes, I am very much aware how antiquated it was. Even then, it seemed odd to me.

Yet, for all the complaining I did and the old-fashioned thinking my mom had at the time, I now find myself saying things like, “I’m glad my mom taught me how to properly clean and cook.” The husband appreciates it too and will often boast to his friends and family when they compare notes on “the wives.”

So, it seems, that learning cleaning rituals and tips from your mother, is a big part of many Latinas’ childhood, as is true for me. So much so, that a recent study conducted by Garcia Research, found that “93% of Latinas helped their mothers clean as a child with sweeping, mopping and washing dishes.” That’s a lot of little girls complaining about chores, much like I did.

But, even more interesting were some other findings of this study that resonated with me. It’s almost as if they came to my house and observed my own cleaning habits.

• More than half of Latinas prefer certain elements of old-fashioned cleaning, such as washing dishes by hand instead of dishwasher (83 percent), mopping the floors with a regular mop or by hand (73 percent). Most preferred this old fashioned approach because it’s what they are used to and plus it was “a better clean.”

Yes! I almost always wash dishes by hand. It’s only been in the past few months that we’ve begun to use the dishwasher more. My mother doesn’t even use hers at all and uses it instead for storage. I’m not sure what the other 27% of people are doing for their floors if they’re not mopping with a regular mop. I always tell my husband, “This is how my mom taught me. It’s the only way I know how to do it and it works!” So, yeah. It seems the majority of Latinas are in agreement with me regarding cleaning rituals we learned from our mamis.

• Music is an integral part of the cleaning routine with Spanish pop being the favorite playlist among 53 percent.
  

Ok, this one is a little different for me. While music is a big part of my cleaning routine – I always blast the radio to get me going while I clean – I don’t listen to Spanish pop. Well, I guess it actually depends on what this study considers to be Spanish pop. I tend to listen to more upbeat music, including merengue, salsa, and English dance music, in order to keep my energy going. But, still. The fact that research confirms that most of us clean while listening to music amazes me.

It’s pretty amazing to see that so many Latinas have so much in common – even down to something as simple as cleaning. The study also found that “43% of Latinas report their significant others as helping with household cleaning – a surprising find, considering the long-standing myth that cleaning is a role predominantly performed by women.” How great is that? The myths are being debunked, even for Latino households. At first I thought that this finding was reflective of the newer generation of Latinas, such as myself. However, the participants in the study were Spanish-dominant (59%), Hispanic females between 25 to 54 years old living in the U.S.

Because the holiday season is upon us and many of us are preparing our homes for family gatherings and guests, it’s a high season for cleaning. Why not have some fun with it and join Clorox in a Holiday celebration? Clorox is currently hosting the Holiday Health Twitter Sweepstakes, where they’ll be giving away a weekly prize of a $50 American Express gift card for 5 weeks, plus a grand prize of a $100 American Express gift card at the end of the sweepstakes. To enter, just tweet how you’re helping to keep your family healthier during the holiday season, using the hashtag #cloroxfiestas. You can tweet in either English or Spanish. Official sweepstakes rules can be found both in English and Spanish. Good luck if you enter!

What cleaning ritual did you learn from your mom, aunt, grandmother, etc.? Will you teach the same traditions/rituals to your children?

Disclosure: This post was written in conjunction with a paid campaign on behalf of The Clorox Company, but all experiences, thoughts, and opinions are original.

This post is part of a paid campaign.

The normal fall activities that you are probably accustomed to doing with your kids are not ones I’ve ever done. The pumpkin or apple picking, hayrides, and leaf raking are things I did not grow up doing nor have I done them since becoming an adult. A couple of reasons probably contribute to this: I’ve always lived in places with tropical weather (Puerto Rico and Florida) and they are not customs traditional to the Puerto Rican culture.

Since neither Puerto Rico nor Florida have a true change of season when autumn arrives, not many trees really shed leaves for us to rake. I can’t really remember the last time I’ve had to rake leaves. It was probably many many years ago. Some of the other fall activities are ones that my family never did. Now that I have a family of my own, perhaps in the coming years we’ll participate in apple picking or browsing a pumpkin patch. I’m sure our baby girl and soon-to-be baby boy will eventually hear of these traditions and ask for them to be introduced into our families. And so, traditions and cultures evolve.

Still, even without such activities, fall does allow for more outside time in Florida. The intense heat begins to die down and we even get some days that include a nice breeze. We definitely get to enjoy more time at the park, local amusement parks, and just taking a walk by one of the many lakes nearby.

Of course, when you have a busy schedule every week, full of work and school, you sometimes have to make the time to go play and have fun. We try hard to make weekends fun. There are definitely those weekends where we need to concentrate on errands or housework, but even then, we try to make at least one fun outing in between the chores. For example, we may clean up around the house in the morning, then take the afternoon and head to the park for baby girl to run around and play on the playground.

Living in Orlando, we’re of course lucky to also live close to many amusement parks. Our family holds annual passes to one of the parks, so we can often head out for a day (or half-day) of fun – especially now that the weather will be more bearable.

We may not do traditional fall activities, yet, but we still manage to have fun and have time together as a family to play. Maybe this year we’ll check out a pumpkin patch and see how we like it.

How do you make time for play and what are some of your favorite fall activities?

Disclosure: I am a Shout Brand Ambassador through a compensated Mom Bloggers Club member program. This post was written in conjunction with the program, but all opinions and thoughts are original.

Shout wants you to know: Shout knows play is so much more than fun and games. Studies show that unstructured play helps kids build fundamental skills like problem solving, coping, and conflict resolution. In other words: play is how kids become happy, healthy adults. Fall has arrived with crisp, cool air and new reasons to go out and play. So, let your kids take that rewarding jump into a pile of leaves. Take at trip to the park and watch their imaginations run free. The one thing you won’t do is worry about their clothes; play should get messy and Shout can help.

You know how a lot of women say they dreamed of their wedding ever since they were little girls? For me, I would think about my Quinceañero. Ever since I learned about this tradition and knew that I’d have a choice of celebrating with such a party, I knew that I wanted one. I’d sit and think about what I wanted the room to look like, what kind of dress I’d wear, and who’d be there, much like one does when preparing for a wedding.

My two older brothers had been provided with a trip to New York City to spend the summer with family when they both turned fifteen. When my turn came about, I too was given a trip as a choice, or I could have a Quinceañero to celebrate my birthday. I chose the party.

What is a Quinceañero?

Similar to the American custom of a Sweet Sixteen, a Quinceañero (sometimes referred to as a Sweet Fifteen) is a celebration of a young girl’s fifteenth birthday and signifies leaving childhood behind and beginning the journey towards womanhood. It is celebrated in many Latino countries in different manners, but is generally a rather festive occasion.

By the time I was turning fifteen, we were no longer living in Puerto Rico – in fact we had already been living in Florida for seven years. Even still, my parents and I wanted to keep tradition alive and so we set to plan the biggest birthday party I’ll ever have.

Back in 1995, there weren’t a lot of available resources for planning a Quinceañero in Orlando. Though there were quite a bit of Latinos in the city, the community wasn’t as large as it is today. Even with a few challenges, we were able to find a proper venue, an event planner familiar with the celebration and traditions, and everything else we needed to pull off the party.

Traditionally, in a Quinceañero, the birthday girl will have an accompanying court – akin to a bridal party – that consists of fourteen girls, aged 1 to 14, signifying each year of her life. There are also escorts for many of the girls, particularly the older ones. However, being that back in 1995 we did not have a lot of family living near us, were not living in Puerto Rico, and I did not have many Latino friends, we improvised. I had several of my friends be the girls in my court and only had one male in the party – my own escort.

However, even with some necessary improvisation, we maintained many of the traditions of a Quinceañero. I wore a traditional dress and my court and I did the formal procession. Additionally, my father and I danced the traditional dance to Julio Iglesias’ song “De Niña a Mujer” (From a Girl to a Woman) and the rest of the court danced a waltz. My father also changed my shoes from slippers to heels, in a very Cinderella-like fashion – a ritual that as you can guess means the girl is now a woman and no longer a girl.

Looking back on it, it was a very beautiful night and I’m happy to have participated in something so symbolic and full of tradition. I now have many memories to share with my daughter as she grows. The fact that I celebrated when I turned fifteen with a Quinceañero instead of celebrating a Sweet Sixteen, provided me with another link to my heritage. It was another way of keeping my Latino culture alive even while living in the United States.

I look forward to sharing this tradition with my daughter when the time comes, showing her pictures of my own Quinceañero and providing her with another choice – one that will allow her to tap into half of her heritage, should she choose to do so. My husband already asked her a few weeks ago, “When you turn 15, would you like to have a big party or get a car?” Can you guess what our 4 year old responded? “A party.” Of course she did – she’s just like her mama!

Have you ever heard of the Quinceañero tradition before? Did you have one yourself?

I’ve been asked a difficult question.

I was asked to write about what it means to me to be a Latina.

To be honest, I had never really given it much thought until now.

I mean, do people normally go around thinking, “What does it mean to me to be a woman?” Or a man? Or do Americans think to themselves, “What does it mean to me to be American?”

It’s just who you are. It’s you. To me, it’s much the same.

Being Latina is a large part of my identity. To be specific, being Puerto Rican is really a major influence in who I am.

I was born in Puerto Rico, but we moved to Florida when I was 8 years old. Although I’ve spent many more years in Florida than I did in Puerto Rico, my parents made sure to maintain our culture in our house. I was raised pretty much the same way I would have had we stayed in Puerto Rico. (Ok, like 90% since obviously there are outside influences from school, friends, etc.) But, my parents spoke Spanish in the house (and still do), we listened to Spanish music, we ate Puerto Rican food, and I was taught values and traditions that are important to our culture.

All of those things helped to make me who I am. However, being Latina is not just a matter of “I listen to Spanish music,” or “I eat rice and beans.” That is not what makes me Latina.

To me, it’s more about the overall culture, values, traditions, and beliefs. It’s about understanding why family is so important to us. Or understanding why my parents believed that as the youngest sibling and the only girl, I couldn’t do some of the same things my brothers did. And, how about the fact that now that I’m older and my parents are aging, I must understand why my father prefers to speak with my brother (who lives in Milwaukee) about his health issues than with me who lives 10 minutes away?

These may seem like trivial points, but if you understand the way our culture operates and the overall mentality, it’s easier to understand why these things happen the way they do.

So, what does it mean to me to be Latina? It means a rich culture, deep values, traditions, pride, and an overall appreciation for yourself and your family.

What does it mean to you?

While reading the memoir of former first female CEO of IBM, Carly Fiorina, Tough Choices, I learned her family philosophy: What you are is God’s gift to you. What you make of yourself is your gift to God. How perfect and sublime. This is something that is written in the souls of driven people. Being one such person, it spoke to me directly as the truth I had been living, though never bothered to put words to. Then as I thought about it more and how it applies to my life, the more it expanded, unfolded, and began to demonstrate exactly the spaces it takes up in my life.

I have always told each of my children that they were gifts to me from God. I do not own them, but I have been charged with the care of these gifts for in time my gifts will leave my side. I have a heart for each of my gifts, that grows with each day and each breath they take. These are the words of love I whisper into their ears from time to time. It is the best way I can manage to explain my love for them. And now with this new revelation, I have discovered that while God has gifted my children their individual talents, temperaments and struggles, I am co-gifter as well. As mother I must bestow my children with as many gifts as possible, so that in turn, that gift to God they create with their lives and selves is that much more expressive of the love that was invested and created.

When I speak to my children in Spanish, the language is not the only gift I give them. The culture that I can filter through to their generation, the awareness of an ancestral presence in their lives and the spiritual beliefs that have cradled me in good times and bad are all the gifts that I pass on to them. Each of my children receives these gifts in a different manner, and as a mother, I must stand back allow them the space to create their own unique gift to God from them. My gift is getting to watch.

Photo from Photobucket - Click on image for original source

Happy Three Kings Day! Feliz Dí­a de los Tres Reyes Magos!

We did it. Last year, after not celebrating, I resolved to celebrate Three Kings Day this year. And, though it’s a normal work day and baby girl is at preschool today, she did get her gift this morning and participated in the traditional Three Kings Day festivities.

It’s nice for me to share this tradition with her and remember my own childhood memories of celebrating El Día de los Reyes. I remember making my basket with my family, filling it with grass on La Víspera de Reyes (the Eve of Three Kings Day), and being excited the next morning when I found the grass had been replaced with candy and the kings had also left me a gift.

There was one particular year that I remember vividly because I did something that I regret to this day. I can remember that I wanted one of those Barbie motorcycles; I think they were a hot item back then. When I opened my gift, it was a Barbie scooter instead, or maybe it was a moped. What I know is that it wasn’t the motorcycle I wanted. And I said, in my little whiny voice too, “Esto no es lo que yo queria!” (This isn’t what I wanted!) I was of course quickly reprimanded and told to appreciate what the kings had brought me because other kids may not have gotten anything. But, I can still remember my mami’s face right before she scolded me. When I was old enough and learned that my parents were the ones that actually provided the gifts and that it wasn’t actually Los Reyes, I felt horrible. I know that I apologized to my mom at one point or another, maybe even multiple times. I will probably apologize again today and we’ll laugh it off.

So, how do we celebrate Three Kings Day? I believe that each Latino culture has their own special way of doing so. I can only tell you how we personally celebrated in Puerto Rico and what I am passing down to my baby girl so that she can learn about the tradition.

Celebrating Three Kings Day (El Día de los Tres Reyes Magos)

1. First, you will need either a plain shoebox or a basket made from a shoebox. Here is a picture of the basket my brother and father made for my daughter a couple of years back:

   

   The basket is normally decorated with bows made out of wax paper, but we’ve had trouble finding such paper. So, we also used regular wrapping paper.

2. Then, the night before Three Kings Day - La Vispera de Reyes – have your child collect some grass from your yard and put it in the basket. The grass is for the kings’ camels. This is analogous to setting out milk & cookies for Santa or carrots for his reindeer.
3. The basket then goes under the bed (or next to it if it doesn’t fit).
4. In the middle of the night, after your child is sleeping, throw out the grass and replace it with candy. Place a gift next to the basket.
5. The next morning, your child will be delighted to find the gift and candy that the Three Kings left behind!
6. Don’t forget to explain that Los Tres Reyes left a gift for him/her the same way that they brought gifts for baby Jesus when he was born. That is the meaning behind all this and why we celebrate.

It’s a fun holiday and I’m so glad that we pulled it off this year. I plan on continuing to celebrate each year so that baby girl can create her own memories and embrace this Latino tradition of celebrating Three Kings Day.

Speaking of memories…I caught a little video of her preparing to collect the grass last night. Listen closely around the 14-second marker as I try hard not to laugh.

Have you ever celebrated El Dia de Los Reyes? Do you think you might next year?

It’s Noche Buena…Feliz Navidad!

It may sound strange, but as I’ve mentioned before, Christmas Eve is actually the day that we get together and celebrate. Normally, our whole family gathers at someone’s house and we have our typical Noche Buena dinner. A traditional Puerto Rican Christmas Eve dinner has the following dishes:

• Arroz con Gandules – Yellow rice with pigeon peas
• Pernil – Roasted pork shoulder
• Pasteles – Green banana with a pork filling

We might also make some other side dishes, but those are just extras. The required dishes are the arroz, pernil, and pasteles. Without them, basically, it’s not Christmas Eve.

Typically, in most houses, you’ll also find coquito. Coquito is an alcoholic drink based on rum and coconut. It’s our holiday drink, so many refer to it as the Puerto Rican Eggnog. But, though some do make it with egg, most don’t. So, it’s really a very different drink.

A couple of years back, I posted this recipe for coquito. But, it’s not even the recipe I use anymore. Many have asked me recently how to make coquito, so I figured I’d share the recipe I currently use. I made some last night and went ahead and made a video as well.

How to Make Puerto Rican Coquito

Recipe for Coquito (Puerto Rican Eggnog)

• 1 14 oz can of condensed milk
• 1 12 oz can of evaporated milk
• 1 15 oz can of cream of coconut
• 1/2 cup white rum
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon

You will need a blender, an empty bottle, and a funnel. Mix all of the ingredients in the blender and blend at high speed. Then, pour into the empty bottle using the funnel.

That’s it! It’s a really simple recipe and takes all of 2 minutes to make. I think the longest part is opening the cans. If you end up trying the recipe, I’d love to hear how you like it.

I hope that all of you have a great Noche Buena (Christmas Eve) and a Merry Christmas! I intend to enjoy some great food, loving family, and some delicious coquito!

****This post was originally posted in March 2009 at Family Eden. Since that blog is no longer active, I wanted to share with you.****

I’ve been asked a difficult question.

I was asked to write about what it means to me to be a Latina.

To be honest, I’ve never really given it much thought.

I mean, do people normally go around thinking, “What does it mean to me to be a woman?” Or a man? Or do Americans think to themselves, “What does it mean to me to be American?”

It’s just who you are. It’s you.

To me, it’s much the same.

Being Latina is a large part of my identity. To be specific, being Puerto Rican is really a major influence in who I am.

I was born in Puerto Rico, but we moved to Florida when I was 8 years old. Although I’ve spent many more years in Florida than I did in Puerto Rico, my parents made sure to maintain our culture in our house. I was raised pretty much the same way I would have had we stayed in Puerto Rico. (Ok, like 90% since obviously there are outside influences from school, friends, etc.) But, my parents spoke Spanish in the house (and still do), we listened to Spanish music, we ate Puerto Rican food, and I was taught values and traditions that are important to our culture.

All of those things helped to make me who I am.

However, being Latina is not just a matter of “I listen to Spanish music,” or “I eat rice and beans.” That is not what makes me Latina.

To me, it’s more about the overall culture, values, traditions, and beliefs. It’s about understanding why family is so important to us. Or understanding why my parents believed that as the youngest sibling and the only girl, I couldn’t do some of the same things my brothers did. And, how about the fact that now that I’m older and my parents are aging, I must understand why my father prefers to speak with my brother (who lives in Milwaukee) about his health issues than with me who lives 10 minutes away?

These may seem like trivial points, but if you understand the way our culture operates and the overall mentality, it’s easier to understand why these things happen the way they do.

So, what does it mean to me to be Latina?

It means a rich culture, deep values, traditions, pride, and an overall appreciation for yourself and your family.

Oh! And the great music and sabrosa comida don’t hurt!

What does it mean to you?

September 15 – October 15 is Hispanic Heritage Month. How will you celebrate?