There are many forms of discipline and punishment that parents use with their children. In our house, we’ve used the time out method, the just talking method, the redirecting method, and we’ve even yelled at times out of losing our patience. Hey, it happens, right?

But, lately, we’ve come up with a new system for helping our nearly-four year old daughter behave better. Ok, “we” as in the husband came up with the idea and I take half the credit since I use the method. What’s his is mine, isn’t it?

We recently turned our guest room into a play room since we don’t often have guests. (Because she needed just one more space in the house to clutter up.) The reality is that we all wanted a family fun room and wanted her room to be more of a tranquil space for relaxation and rest. So, we now have a play room and because she helped remodel the space, she has taken full ownership of that room. It is – quite frankly – her play room.

Because of that, it has also become the one true thing that she hates to not have. Therefore, we have the following hanging up on the door to that room.

What you see is a dry-erase board with sad faces on it. Normally, there are 3 happy faces on there. It’s sort of like a behavior chart.

How it works:

1. If baby girl does something naughty or doesn’t listen, we give a warning. If she still doesn’t listen, she gets a sad face.
2. After 3 sad faces, we close the door to her playroom.
3. She must earn back her 3 happy faces with good behavior. We try to make the acts equal; that is, if she lost a happy face because of whining, we’re not expecting she clean up her room to earn it back. A smaller act that is comparable will do. On the other hand, if she lost a happy face because she threw a tantrum or disrespected us, then the act to earn it back must be equally as big.
4. Once she earns her 3 happy faces back, she gains access to the playroom again.
5. And the cycle continues.

Why this works:

• She is seeing a visual of her mistakes as well as her achievements.
• My girl needs more than just stickers as an incentive.
• The playroom is a place of her own that she enjoys so it’s a true punishment for it to be taken away versus just being scolded or sitting in time out.

Of course, explanations, warnings, and the “after-talk” is all a part of this to help her understand what happened, why it happened, and how she should act next time.

We’ve really seen it work over the last few months. She even goes through periods of weeks at a time without losing a happy face.

What methods do you use for disciplining your preschooler or toddler?

Thank you everyone who entered the I Brake for Meltdowns book contest!

There were 2 entries and the winner is:

Entry #2 was Jennifer of Mami 2 Mommy!

Congratulations Jennifer!

Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?

Sorry, I’m just a tad bit excited about my latest blogging gig.

I’m guest blogging, along with four other great ladies, at Scholastic Parent Voices for the month of May. I’ll be over there at least once a week blogging about various topics. First topic is Summer Plans in a Tough Economy.

And my first post? It’s all about our summer vacation on a budget. Meet all the guest bloggers and check out my first post, won’t you?

You also already know that I’m blogging at Family Eden. But, starting this week, now I’ll be over there once a week and on Tuesdays instead of every other Wednesday.

This week’s post at Family Eden is all about tantrums. I took a look back at our ordeal with tantrums about a year ago. Whew! What a time that was.

And if you’re currently dealing with tantrums or know someone who is, be sure to enter the contest for the book I Brake for Meltdowns: How to Handle the Most Exasperating Behavior of Your 2- to 5-year-old.

It’s a busy week no doubt. But, when isn’t it?

A really really long time ago, the folks at Da Capo Press sent me a complimentary copy of the book “I Brake for Meltdowns: How to Handle the Most Exasperating Behavior of Your 2- to 5-year-old” to review.

I’ve just now gotten around to actually writing my review of the book. Better late than never I always say.

After reading my review, you can enter to win the book for yourself! I figure I might as well pass along the copy since I held onto it for so long.

Review

The book begins with an overview of various types of tantrums and meltdowns and details several scenarios. It then goes over many well-known toddler behaviors, with chapters on the following:

• social behavior
• sleep-related concerns
• eating dilemmas
• potty training
• fighting
• anger issues
• manipulation
• travel
• health and hygiene
• refusals
• other stubborn and annoying behaviors

Each chapter pretty much provides different circumstances and how you can deal with them, with alternatives included. I was stuck on the potty training chapter for a bit (for obvious reasons). One of the tips given is to let your child run naked outdoors. Which makes total sense since it makes for easier cleanup, but really? What if she sits down on the grass…naked? Maybe it’s just my paranoid self, but I’m not about to have ants crawl up my daughter’s butt.

Overall the book seems like a handy resource. Especially for those just beginning to deal with some of those really frustrating situations that come with toddlers and when your kid hits the terrible twos.

You can find out more at http://www.ibrakeformeltdowns.com

Win a copy of I Brake for Meltdowns: How to Handle the Most Exasperating Behavior of Your 2- to 5-Year Old

How to enter:

1. Leave a comment with the chapter you think would interest you most.
2. For a second entry, tweet a message on twitter with a link back to this post.
   Sample text to use: Win this book from @modernmami & learn how to deal with tantrums! Enter contest at http://tinyurl.com/modernmami-book
   You’ll need to leave a second comment with the link to your tweet, not your profile, so I can verify. You have to leave a separate comment so that it will count.
3. For a third entry, write a post and link back to this contest post on your blog. Again, be sure to leave a separate comment with your post link so that it will count.

Rules

You have until 11:59 pm EST on Saturday, May 9 to leave your comments. The winner will be posted on Monday, May 11 and will be chosen using Random.org.

Be sure to check back to see if you’ve won! Remember to include an email address so that I can contact you if you win.

Note: Contest open to U.S. addresses only.

Now that you have some resources for helping your child read, do you want to know about a good book to read to your toddler or preschooler?

This is the cutest book and your kid is going to love it. Well, only if he/she is as awesome as my baby girl. hehehe

Knuffle Bunny: A Cautionary Tale by Mo Willems

We first learned about Knuffle Bunny while watching Between the Lions one day with baby girl. The story was read on the show along with the pictures from the book. And the pictures? Stunning. A mix of city photography and illustrations. You’ll have to “look inside” the book to see what I mean.

By the way, the title is pronounced Keh-nuffle; the K is NOT silent.

My favorite lines from the book are “She went boneless. She did everything she could to show how unhappy she was.” If you remember what tantrums are like (or are currently dealing with them), you’ll know exactly what those lines mean. Of course, the reason behind those lines will help you appreciate, or at the very least, understand the tantrums a little more. It gives a new perspective on things…from your kid’s point of view.

My daughter’s favorite part of the book? Pretty much all of it. She loves to look at the pictures and loves to repeat what Trixie (that’s the main character) says. She laughs at the same parts each time we read the book. In advance mind you, since she already knows what will happen next.

Apparently, there’s a sequel now to Knuffle Bunny, which I keep meaning to pick up. Looks like Trixie is now a preschooler herself.

Knuffle Bunny Too: A Case of Mistaken Identity

And, there’s also a DVD from Scholastic with the Knuffle Bunny story on it.

Knuffle Bunny… and More Great Childhood Adventure Stories

I just added the DVD to our Netflix queue so hopefully baby girl likes it.

If you’ve never read Knuffle Bunny, then you have to buy the book. I promise…you – I mean your son/daughter – will love it.

And no, I did not get asked to review this book or write about it. I really just like the book a lot.

Alright ladies (and men), bear with me a bit here while I go into the realm of TMI.

It seems that toddlers, preschoolers - whatever the correct term is for a three year old – do in fact suffer from PMS at such an early age.

You know how if you’re around a buddy of yours long enough, you’ll eventually end up on the same cycle as her? Or how your baby will share some hormones with you when he/she is born and even after if you breastfeed?

Well, the same effect applies to three year olds. Somehow they manage to feed off your hormones and lovingly share that special time of the month with you and act all PMS-y.

You don’t know what I’m talking about? Just take my word on it, then.

I have proof.

It comes in the form of my own daughter who I love to death, but who annoys the crap out of me when she decides to PMS right along with me. As if dealing with my own moody, grumpy self wasn’t enough.

You might think that I’m overreacting and that it’s just normal toddler tantrums or whining, but I kid you not, it always flares up more when I’m there.

Just ask my husband. The poor thing has to deal with two moody, grumpy girls in his house.

He figures it’s just basic training for the teenage years.

I wonder if this is one of those moments when having a boy would be easier? They don’t PMS, do they?

Image credit: jimgreenfield

I was recently contacted by the folks at Da Capo Lifelong Books, to review their newest book, I Brake for Meltdowns: How to Handle the Most Exasperating Behavior of Your 2- to 5-Year-Old.

From the publisher:

More than just meltdowns (public and private), this book includes advice on what to do when your little one:

• Has difficulty sharing or taking turns
• Won’t eat what you made for dinner
• Won’t put his coat on
• Talks back to other adults
• Refuses to brush her teeth, clean her room, or get in her car seat
• Constantly engages in self-criticism
• Keeps getting out of bed when it’s time to go to sleep

To learn more about the book and its authors, please visit: ibrakeformeltdowns.com

I look forward to reading this book and will be back to share my thoughts with all of you.

Lord knows we all need help every once in a while when it comes to toddlers.