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	<title>modernmami™ &#187; speak only when spoken to</title>
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		<title>Speak Only When Spoken To?</title>
		<link>http://www.modernmami.com/the-monkey/speak-only-when-spoken-to/</link>
		<comments>http://www.modernmami.com/the-monkey/speak-only-when-spoken-to/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Jan 2012 10:30:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Melanie Edwards</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Baby Girl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[childhood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[childhood rules]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kid rules]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rules of the past]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[speak only when spoken to]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.modernmami.com/?p=4752</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last weekend we had a friend of ours visiting from out of town. He has been a good friend of my husband for over 10 years and gets along great with the kids. Baby girl thinks he&#8217;s pretty funny and as is true with most people, she loves talking to him, which is fine by [...]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p><a title="shhh by wheat_in_your_hair, on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/17305559@N00/176382627/"><img class="aligncenter" src="http://farm1.staticflickr.com/57/176382627_d0ad30943b.jpg" alt="shhh" width="490" height="367" /></a></p>
<p>Last weekend we had a friend of ours visiting from out of town. He has been a good friend of my husband for over 10 years and gets along great with the kids. Baby girl thinks he&#8217;s pretty funny and as is true with most people, she loves talking to him, which is fine by us.</p>
<p>Except, there are those times when the adults get to talking and are so heavily involved in their conversation that it&#8217;s hard to let the kids participate. When you&#8217;re friends with someone for over 10 years, this can be especially true, since you have plenty of memories and inside jokes. You can imagine there were a couple of instances where this happened while our friend was visiting.</p>
<p><span id="more-4752"></span></p>
<p>The first night our friend visited, as I tucked baby girl into bed, she said, &#8220;<em>Mommy, when people visit us or we visit them, I don&#8217;t really get to talk a lot.</em>&#8221; I responded by reminding her that she did talk quite a bit and that she even played a game with our friend and read a book. I proceeded to tell her that when her dad and I were her age, things were worse. &#8220;<em>We weren&#8217;t allowed to just come up and talk to the adults like you do. If they talked to us, then we&#8217;d respond, but it wasn&#8217;t like we just started conversations with them on our own. At least you get to do that</em>!&#8221;</p>
<p>This was probably the worst thing I could have said at that moment because she started to cry saying, &#8220;<strong><em>That&#8217;s just not fair mommy</em></strong>!&#8221; I quickly told her that&#8217;s just the way it was and those were the rules, but that it&#8217;s not <em>her</em> rule. This didn&#8217;t help as she continued to cry repeating it wasn&#8217;t fair. I finally calmed her down by telling her it was a long time ago and that her daddy and I were over it, so she didn&#8217;t have to worry about it.</p>
<p>I left her room laughing, which was the same reaction my husband and our visitor had. It&#8217;s funny that even though she&#8217;s able to interact with adults in a manner significantly different to how my husband and I did as kids, she found it unnerving we couldn&#8217;t.</p>
<p><strong><em>What is something from your childhood your children found surprising?</em></strong></p>
<p><em>Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/17305559@N00/176382627/">Catherine</a></em></p>
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