Photo: Jose Oquendo

Having been born in Puerto Rico and growing up in a Latino household with parents that maintained our culture alive, celebrating our culture wasn’t something that was on our minds. We sort of lived it and “celebrated” every day. Now that my culture has blended with that of my husband’s and we have children with three cultures to celebrate, I do point out their Latino heritage. Of course, they are also seeing many aspects of Latino culture on a daily basis – the food we eat, the music we listen to, the language I speak to them – so, they are not without their culture.

Still, with our lives being a blend of cultures, the exposure my children have to their Latino culture is still a minor aspect of their lives. So, it’s important to me to incorporate Puerto Rican customs into my parenting and teach them about their heritage. Any opportunity is a good one, of course, which is why I take advantage of Hispanic Heritage Month as another chance to talk about our Latino heritage.

Hispanic Heritage Month runs from September 15 to October 15 and has been celebrated nationally each year since 1988. It starts mid-month because September 15 is a significant day to many Latin American countries who celebrate their independence on that date. This week, we’ll be celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month at ModernMami.com, in addition to regular content, and a couple of giveaways. Look for posts on celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month with your kids, a bilingual DVD giveaway, keeping memories alive and creating new ones, plus a round-up of Hispanic Heritage Month posts from other bloggers.

Have you ever celebrated Hispanic Heritage Month?

Custom Hispanic Heritage banner by Justin Edwards

Photo: Melissa Audrey

Last week, my mami fell ill and was in bed for a day and a half. Since my dad has dementia, he’s unable to help in such circumstances. Thankfully, my Tía (aunt) was staying at my mom’s house and was able to help mami out a bit before calling me to come over on the second day. I rushed over and took my mom to the doctor. The day turned out to be a long one full of running back and forth around town, so Tía decided to buy take-out for dinner for everyone. She kept stressing to me to be sure that I ordered some extra food to bring home for my husband. She said, “I know you’ve been running around all day and haven’t had time to go home and cook.” It was very thoughtful of her, really, but this led to a couple of other conversations which now make my husband and I laugh.They are true examples of the cultural differences we deal with in our marriage and the lessons I inherited from my not-so-modern-thinking (ahem, old-fashioned) parents.

The “Quieres comer?” Syndrome (Do you want to eat?)

That same night, my husband ended up meeting me at my mom’s house. As soon as he walked in the door, Tía began to let him know about the food we brought home for him and also let him know of extra food there was. It was something along the lines of “We got you chicken, but there’s some pork here too. There’s also plátanos [plantains], bread, and more beans if you need more.” My husband was taking a moment to hold our baby boy for a bit and talk with our daughter first before sitting down to eat, so he said thanks and continued with his daddy moment. About five minutes later, he again was reminded about his food and this time, warned that it might get cold. This is typical of any day he goes to my mom’s house, regardless of whether it’s my mom or Tía (as was the case this time) doing the “sit down and eat” routine. This is also typical of many Latino households who no doubt will ask you “Quieres comer?” and urge you to sit down and eat the minute you walk in the door.

No Permission Needed

Still another incident occurred that same night. As my husband checked on my mom to see how she was feeling, she said to him, “Thank you to you and Melanie for everything today.” My husband quickly responded by saying, “I didn’t do anything! I’ve been at work all day. So, thanks to Melanie.” As he walked away, my mami says to me in Spanish, “Hay que darle gracias a él también por dejarte.” (I have to thank him too for letting you.) I immediately snapped at her saying, “Letting me? Mami, I’m not asking for permission!”

My Day Involves More than Just Cooking

The next day, I was back at my mom’s house and took her to another appointment in the morning. By the afternoon, I saw that my mom was settled, had help from my Tía, and was going to take a nap for the afternoon. So, around 2:30 pm, I began to say my good-byes and announced I was leaving. My Tía asks me, “You have to get home to cook, right?” After the comments from the night before, I was already irritated with the abundance of old-fashioned thinking regarding cooking, marriage, and my role as a wife. So, this new comment added to the fuel. I politely responded to her, “No. Actually, I need to get home so I can get some work done.” In my mind, though, I was thinking, “Really? Is cooking all that is on my family’s mind? Who in the hell starts cooking dinner at 2 pm, anyway?“The irony was that at the same time, my husband was busy ordering pizza for the night since he was off from work early that day. (Our daughter had previously declared it to be pizza night that day.)

But, I was so aggravated at the moment that I momentarily forgot that this is the way my mom and aunts were taught. This is the custom and the manner in which they believe they need to take care of their loved ones. And, there’s nothing wrong with that if it works for them.

Reflecting on Costumbres (Customs)

Earlier this week, I approached my mom and laughed about the comments with her. I told her how my husband and some friends of ours reacted upon hearing these stories. She explained to me that her abuela taught her and her sisters to be this way. They were taught that they should have dinner ready by the time their husbands came home from work.She said many women even cook a heavy meal by noon in order to eat an early dinner. Mami further explained that her abuela would say, “Si puedes, come tú primero antes que él llegue del trabajo. Así, si él llega enojado y no quiere comer rápido, tu no te quedas átras sin comer por esperarlo a él.” (If you can, eat first before he comes home from work. That way, if he comes home angry and doesn’t want to eat right away, you don’t get left behind without eating while waiting on him.)

I was amazed by all this. While my mom taught me to cook and did emphasize the need to “take care of” my husband and family, she also didn’t take it to the level her abuela did. I suppose with every generation, customs remain, but also evolve. I am actually very grateful for the lessons my mom gave me. There are many great values in the way she raised us and how she grew up that I can now take from and make my own. And, while I will teach my daughter and son many of these same customs, they will be tweaked to accommodate our current style of living. They can each then take the lessons from my husband and I and make them fit their lives should they have their own families one day.

What customs or old-fashioned lessons did you inherit?

At this very moment, I’m making my way to San Diego for the BlogHer conference happening this week. I’m looking forward to connecting with fellow bloggers, brands, and PR representatives I’ve collaborated with or have yet to meet. As is the norm for BlogHer, the agenda is packed tight, with multiple events happening each night. Of course, there are also conference sessions and meetings to attend during the day. It’s going to be a busy three days!

While I’m away learning more about the business of blogging, you can catch up on previously featured posts. I’ve highlighted some favorite posts in various topics below. And, hey, if you’re attending BlogHer as well, make sure to say hi if you see me!

Parenting Stories

• Raising Beautiful Girls: Conversations of Body Image
• Marketing to Kids as a Parenting Tool
• Raising Multicultural Children and Providing Positive Messages

Work-Life Balance Tips

• 7 Tips for Finding ‘Me’ Time
• How Do You Define Balance?
• 5 Resources with Tips for Finding or Improving your Work-Life Balance

Latino and Puerto Rican Culture

• Latino Terms of Endearment
• The Importance of Keeping Cultural Traditions Alive
• My Quinceañero – Reminiscing on a Latino Tradition

Puerto Rican Recipes

• Recipe for Puerto Rican Carne Guisada
• How to Make Puerto Rican Arroz con Gandules in a Rice Cooker {Rice with Pigeon Peas}
• Bistec Encebollado Recipe {Puerto Rican Cubed Steak}

WAHM Resources

• Sample Daily Routine for Working from Home
• 5 Tips for Working from Home for the WAHM
• 10 Places to Find Work at Home and Freelance Jobs

This is a sponsored post.

Growing up in Puerto Rico, I remember Easter being kind of a big deal. We went to mass dressed in our brand new Easter outfits and celebrated amongst family. Though we didn’t have any Easter-specific special dishes for our meal that day, we often did get together with extended family on Easter and shared a traditional Puerto Rican menu with foods such as pernil y arroz con gandules.

What I don’t remember are the traditions of the Easter bunny, receiving Easter baskets, or Easter egg hunts. I did not learn about any of those until we moved to Florida. That is when my parents began to do the Easter baskets for us, well really me, since my brothers were already too old for it.

Something else that changed after we moved to Florida is that we no longer had a big Easter meal with extended family. After going to mass in the morning, the rest of our Easter Sundays were spent much like any other Sunday. I asked my husband, and his family was much the same way. Of course, that means that we are now doing pretty much the same thing with our own family.

Sometimes I actually miss the fact that we got together with extended family and had a traditional Easter meal. I’ve been thinking more and more that we should start the tradition back up. So, perhaps next year, I will give it a try. Of course, keeping with our cultural traditions, the menu will include typical Puerto Rican and Trinidadian foods. Let me share with you what I envision will be served at our Easter meal.

• Pernil – Literally translated as roast pork shoulder, pernil is a staple of Puerto Rican cuisine and can be found on just about everyone’s dinner table for special meals, especially Christmas.
• Arroz con Gandules – This is a very traditional rice for Puerto Ricans. We eat it at most special occasions and family get-togethers. Here is a recipe for how to make arroz con gandules in a rice cooker.
• Potato Salad – I have never made potato salad, but it’s a dish I like quite a bit. It’s probably time I learn how to make it. I found a potato salad recipe on Walmart’s Easter Recipes page that looks simple enough.
• Macaroni Pie – Similar to macaroni and cheese, this is a dish from my husband’s native Trinidad that I’ve come to love. Plus, it’s very easy to make.

Hopefully next year we can celebrate Easter in a larger manner than we’ve been doing. This year, though, we’ll have another relaxed and laid-back day full of family time. No big meal is necessary when you’ve got that.

If you’re still planning your Easter meal, you can get more ideas for your Easter lunch or dinner on the Walmart site. They have a variety of recipes and some cute dessert options – like these flower cupcakes that I know my daughter would love to make with me.

Does your family have a big Easter meal? What do you traditionally serve?

Disclosure:  As a member of the Walmart Moms program, I was compensated for this post. As always, all opinions are my own.