Frogs and snails
And puppy-dogs’ tails,

That’s what little boys are made of.

Sugar and spice
And everything nice,

That’s what little girls are made of.

A few years ago I asked a friend of mine to share if she thought raising boys is different from raising girls. At the time, my husband and I had not yet decided to have a second child, but I still wondered how different it would be to raise a boy from raising a girl. As you can read in her post, my friend let me know that yes, it is vastly different to raise a boy than it is to raise a girl. But, she explained that it’s not for the reasons you might expect.

When baby boy was born, I distinctly remember saying to my husband, “I had no idea boys would be so sweet!” I was genuinely surprised that my baby boy was just as cute, sweet-smelling, and precious as my baby girl was. I didn’t think I’d have the same feelings of overwhelming cuteness with him as I did when baby girl was an infant. You hear so many things about boys being “little monsters” and little girls being everything “sugar and spice” that it just never dawned on me I’d find my baby boy as cute as my little girl. But, he is, and I love it.

A year into parenting both a girl and a boy, I can say that there are differences, for sure. Some fall in-line with the typical boy behavior I had always heard about, but some are still surprises. I find that my boy is just as sweet as his sister is, and just as stubborn. I laugh at the fact he knows precisely when to turn on the charm – at the exact moment he knows I need him to. My baby boy is cute, loving, cuddly, and full of hugs. Yes, he does tear things down and climb more than his sister did at the age of one, but he always comes back to mami for some snuggles.

Why don’t we hear more of these type of stories when it comes to boys? Instead we hear nursery rhymes such as the one at the top of this post claiming boys are nothing but gross. If you ask my baby girl, she’ll tell you her little brother is “oh so sweet!” Little boys can be everything nice too.

I’d love to hear your stories about raising boys and raising girls! What has surprised you the most about parenting both? Or perhaps you have a story from growing up with sisters and brothers! Share them in the comments below!

Once a week, my daughter goes to dance class. Since the dance center she attends is closer to my parents’ house, I take the opportunity to head to their house after picking her up from school. We use this time to hang out with the abuelos and I get a chance to see my parents before it’s time for her dance class.

It’s become such a regular part of our weekly routine, that every Thursday when I pick up baby girl at school, she confirms, “Are we going to Abuela’s house?” On the rare occasion when something interferes with our plans, she gets disappointed. I do too, honestly. There’s something very comforting about knowing that each Thursday afternoon we get to see my parents. My mom and I talk, she feeds us as only your mom and an abuela can, and both baby boy and baby girl get the extra hugs and kisses from their grandparents.

For me, seeing the bond that my children have with my parents is especially precious because I never had such a relationship with one of my grandparents. I didn’t grow up near any of my grandparents – my paternal grandmother passed away long before I was born and the other three grandparents lived in New York City. While this is something that I certainly wish I had as a child, it’s something I’ve accepted for what it was. But, it does help me appreciate the special relationship my parents have with my kids. It helps me understand that it is important for them to visit their abuelos, to have sleep overs, and talk with them on a regular basis.

So, while it’s certainly not the only time we visit my parents, dance class day will continue to be a ritual. We will enjoy what the abuelos have to share with us and keep on nurturing the treasured connection such a relationship affords.

Did you have a special relationship with your grandparents?

Last weekend we had a friend of ours visiting from out of town. He has been a good friend of my husband for over 10 years and gets along great with the kids. Baby girl thinks he’s pretty funny and as is true with most people, she loves talking to him, which is fine by us.

Except, there are those times when the adults get to talking and are so heavily involved in their conversation that it’s hard to let the kids participate. When you’re friends with someone for over 10 years, this can be especially true, since you have plenty of memories and inside jokes. You can imagine there were a couple of instances where this happened while our friend was visiting.

The first night our friend visited, as I tucked baby girl into bed, she said, “Mommy, when people visit us or we visit them, I don’t really get to talk a lot.” I responded by reminding her that she did talk quite a bit and that she even played a game with our friend and read a book. I proceeded to tell her that when her dad and I were her age, things were worse. “We weren’t allowed to just come up and talk to the adults like you do. If they talked to us, then we’d respond, but it wasn’t like we just started conversations with them on our own. At least you get to do that!”

This was probably the worst thing I could have said at that moment because she started to cry saying, “That’s just not fair mommy!” I quickly told her that’s just the way it was and those were the rules, but that it’s not her rule. This didn’t help as she continued to cry repeating it wasn’t fair. I finally calmed her down by telling her it was a long time ago and that her daddy and I were over it, so she didn’t have to worry about it.

I left her room laughing, which was the same reaction my husband and our visitor had. It’s funny that even though she’s able to interact with adults in a manner significantly different to how my husband and I did as kids, she found it unnerving we couldn’t.

What is something from your childhood your children found surprising?

Photo by Catherine

ridawesome [rid-aw-suhm]: something really, really cool

Baby girl made up a new word. Ridawesome. It’s a combination of ridiculous and awesome and means something is really, really cool. Like, ridiculously awesome.  Get it?

She found out the way new words are created and added to the dictionary is by becoming popular and used by many. So, in an effort to get her new word used by a large amount of people, she asked me to spread the word here.

I think that’s pretty ridawesome, don’t you?

Photo by Jeff Kubina

At this very moment, I’m making my way to San Diego for the BlogHer conference happening this week. I’m looking forward to connecting with fellow bloggers, brands, and PR representatives I’ve collaborated with or have yet to meet. As is the norm for BlogHer, the agenda is packed tight, with multiple events happening each night. Of course, there are also conference sessions and meetings to attend during the day. It’s going to be a busy three days!

While I’m away learning more about the business of blogging, you can catch up on previously featured posts. I’ve highlighted some favorite posts in various topics below. And, hey, if you’re attending BlogHer as well, make sure to say hi if you see me!

Parenting Stories

• Raising Beautiful Girls: Conversations of Body Image
• Marketing to Kids as a Parenting Tool
• Raising Multicultural Children and Providing Positive Messages

Work-Life Balance Tips

• 7 Tips for Finding ‘Me’ Time
• How Do You Define Balance?
• 5 Resources with Tips for Finding or Improving your Work-Life Balance

Latino and Puerto Rican Culture

• Latino Terms of Endearment
• The Importance of Keeping Cultural Traditions Alive
• My Quinceañero – Reminiscing on a Latino Tradition

Puerto Rican Recipes

• Recipe for Puerto Rican Carne Guisada
• How to Make Puerto Rican Arroz con Gandules in a Rice Cooker {Rice with Pigeon Peas}
• Bistec Encebollado Recipe {Puerto Rican Cubed Steak}

WAHM Resources

• Sample Daily Routine for Working from Home
• 5 Tips for Working from Home for the WAHM
• 10 Places to Find Work at Home and Freelance Jobs

A few months ago, one of my aunts was visiting from out of town. She was staying at my mami’s house and they were heading out for a day at a local park since they were bored with staying home. I took the opportunity to tag along so baby girl could have some fun at the park and get to know her Tía better.

Before we left, my Tía changed her clothes, and upon her return from the bedroom, my daughter noticed. Tía asked her, “How do I look?” to which my girl responded, “Good!” My Tía proceeded to pat her belly in that manner we adults often do when we’re indicating we need to lose weight. But, my daughter stared at her blankly. I spoke up and let my aunt know that baby girl had no concept of what she meant. “We don’t really point out things like that at home. She has no clue what you mean by that.”

Before entering her dance class last night, baby girl asked me if they would be able to wear make-up during their upcoming performance. (It’s going to be her first showcase since she started taking lessons.) I told her that no, she would not be able to wear make-up and that make-up is not something little girls wear.

At the end of the dance class, her instructor turned towards the parents and said, “I’m not a believer of putting make-up on babies, so for Saturday’s showcase, there’s no need to put make-up on your girls. They’re beautiful just as they are. You can just leave that stuff for the other studio.”

This morning, baby girl turned the TV on while I finished getting myself ready. I had forgotten that I left it on the food channel last night, which shows infomercials in the early morning. A couple of minutes later, baby girl runs into my room and proceeds to explain to me:

“Mommy, this man found this melon and they take the melon and make it into some type of cream you can then use to make yourself look younger and pretty!” She waves her hand around my face as she says this.

“Really?” I say. “And looking young is what makes you pretty? Would I not be pretty if I looked older?”

“Oh no mami! You always look pretty.”

“Thank you baby. So, why do we need to look younger, then? We’re fine the way we are, aren’t we?”

A bit puzzled, she pauses, thinks, then says, “Yeah!”

“Those people on TV are trying to trick people into thinking they don’t look pretty and thinking they need to look younger so that they can then buy what they’re selling.”

“Yeah, because they want more money!”

“That’s right. They are selling something and they want people to buy it. So, they make people think they really need it and trick them into thinking it will help them be better. But, that’s not what makes people pretty, mama.”

“Make-up?”

Feeling incredibly hypocritical, I said, “Make-up doesn’t make you pretty either, sweetie. It’s just something older women wear when they want to dress up and look a little different. But, it doesn’t make them pretty. In fact, if you wear too much make-up, it can make you look bad and takes away from what you really look like.”

“Ok mommy.”

*************************************

These are some examples of the daily struggle that it is to raise a girl. Regardless of how much emphasis you put on positive self and body image, or if you purposely refrain from showing negative examples (such as patting your belly or other areas of fat), the images make their way into your household and child’s mind in one way or another. Whether it’s another family member, TV, or some other external influence, you still end up having to curb the perceptions created.

When my Tía did what she did, she didn’t think of how her actions would be perceived. She did what many of us do. She pointed out a flaw in her body.

When baby girl’s dance instructor said what he said, I felt like applauding. This was one of the reasons we chose that dance school, because when we researched other ones in the area, many had photos of students in fancy outfits and wearing make-up on the homepage of their website. For us, that was an immediate turn-off. We wanted her to learn the art of dance and provide her with an outlet for socialization besides preschool. We did not want her to be part of a spectacle.

When I explained to my girl that make-up is not what makes you pretty, I had trouble coming up with the right words as to why women (myself included) do wear it. Because, let’s face it, when we put make-up on, we do in fact “feel” prettier.

So, as parents, how do we overcome these perceptions and continue to provide positive examples for our children? How can we curb the outside influences? And as women, how do we avoid sending mixed messages by telling our girls one thing, yet doing another?

What do you do to recover from those moments in parenting when you just lose it all? Those moments when the frustration, disappointment, and overall lack of positive energy leave you and you end up in a state of utter insanity with your kids?

I despise the person I become when frustration takes over. I lose patience, am ill-tempered, and lash out, making my daughter feel horrible in the process. It’s unfair to her. I can feel myself getting close to the point of losing it. Even though I try to avoid it, without a doubt, something always pushes me over the edge.

Normally, after I calm down, I sit and talk with her. I let her know that I don’t like acting that way. I apologize. I let her share how she feels and in turn explain how I felt. It’s all I know to do.

But, is it enough? Is an apology and quick conversation enough to recover from a major parenting fail? Especially if months later, it happens again?

I fear it’s not. I fear she’s going to end up in therapy if I have many more of those moments.

How do you prevent such moments? And, more so, when you have them, how do you recover from them? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Photo: Dmitry Kichenko

My five year old will be starting Kindergarten this fall. She just completed pre-Kindergarten and since her preschool follows the same school calendar as the public schools, that means she has an actual summer off, just like all school-aged kids. This also means that she’ll be spending a lot of time at home and we need to figure out ways to keep her busy. She’s not the type of kid to sit still for too long, plus we don’t want her to waste away the summer and forget everything they did in pre-K this past year.

We’ve lined up a few activities for the summer that will help her keep busy, entertained, and should be fun. Here’s our plan.

5 Ways to Keep Kids Busy this Summer

1. Summer Reading Program

Our local library has a summer reading program for kids to keep up with their reading while out of school. They provide a reading list, a calendar for kids to mark off days they read, and a goody bag at the end of the program in exchange for a full calendar. Our library’s program is for ages 6-12, but I figure that since baby girl is reading well for her age, we can work on the books appropriate for 6 and 7 year olds. She loves to read, so this is perfect for her and will get her extra excited about the books.

Photo: elvissa

2. Museums

At least one of our local museums is offering free admission on Mondays throughout the summer. I need to check with some of the other museums in the area to see if they have a similar offer, but have heard this is not uncommon. A visit to a museum is great for a) getting the kids out of the house, b) expanding their minds, and c) providing conversational topics.

Photo: aarongilson

3. Summer Day Camps

Luckily, baby girl’s preschool is hosting a summer day camp full of activities, weekly field trips, and a review of the pre-K curriculum they just completed. We’ve enrolled her for 5 weeks of camp this summer, though the weeks are spread out. Our local YMCA is also hosting a summer day camp with field trips, as well, so that may be something you can look into.

Photo: Richard Styles

4. Free Bowling or Other Recreational Activities

You may have already heard that AMF is offering two free games of bowling per day for kids 16 and under at over 200 locations in the US. I plan to take advantage of this offer a few times throughout the summer, though baby girl hasn’t quite mastered the art of bowling. She’ll still have fun, regardless, plus it’s an indoor activity – something that’s super important here in Orlando.

Last year, I also heard that some of the movie theaters had certain days of the week where they had free movies for the kids. That’s something else that would be fun and is also indoors.

Photo: Paul Sapiano

5. Swim Lessons

Believe it or not, our girl doesn’t yet know how to swim. This summer, we plan to fix that and have enrolled her in swimming lessons at our YMCA. Depending on how she does her first two weeks, we’ll see if we enroll her in further lessons.

The weeks that we have none of the above activities planned, such as this first week off from school, we are keeping her busy with continuing to write in her pre-K journal, reading, visits to abuela’s house, workbooks, and of course, playing with the various toys she owns. It’s sure to be a fast summer and before we know it, we’ll be preparing for the first day of Kindergarten.

How do you plan to keep your kids busy this summer?

Want a quick and easy way to get your young children to clean up around the house? I tried this with my five-year-old today and I just know that any preschooler will enjoy it as much as she did. It absolutely adds an element of fun to cleaning and even more, gives them a challenge!

All I did was simply tell her, “Let’s see how much you can clean up in one minute! I’m going to count to 60 and you go around and see how much you can put away. Ready? Set? Go!” I then counted 60 seconds as she ran around the house picking up. She was so worried about the time that twice she passed by me and slowed down just enough to hear what number I was on. But, she definitely did more in that one minute than she would have done in five minutes had I just told her to clean up her stuff.

The best thing was that I too had fun. I went around picking up a few items myself, but enjoyed seeing her having fun with something that ordinarily would have been a boring task. She ran, she laughed the whole time, and she completed her task. It was a true win-win for both of us.

After she caught her breath, I suggested that next time we should see how much we could clean up in three minutes. She was all for it!

What games do you play with your children to make chores more fun?

“You’re just a big monster!”

You may be used to hearing such words on the playground as one preschooler screams out to another after doing something he/she didn’t like. It happens all the time and more than likely after a few minutes, they’re back to being best friends again.

But, never, did I think I’d be hearing those words directed at me, much less from my own daughter. Well, at least I thought I had quite a few more years before the dramatic accusations came my way from an over-hormonal teenager. It seems, though, that is not the case. Five-year-olds, apparently, can be just as hormonal and dramatic.

In the past few weeks, my daughter has been hearing what she calls my “serious voice” quite a bit – more than I’d like. But, we try hard to be firm and consistent and though I know we’re still undergoing a transition in our house with a new baby, that does not excuse the misbehaving. So, when needed, serious voice it is.

However, every so often, the use of the serious voice causes her to begin crying. Sometimes, this escalates into a full-out dramatic scene of shouting out random phrases like, “You just don’t love me!” When asked why she’s crying when she knows she was doing something wrong and the situation wasn’t so severe, she once screamed out, “You’re just…you’re just such a big monster!”

Later that evening, I shared the incident with my husband and confessed that those little words were like a knife to my heart. I told him: “I don’t want her thinking I’m a big monster!” He laughed, because of course, she doesn’t really think I’m a big monster. He spoke to her during her bath that night and asked her why she said that. Her response: “Sometimes…when mami uses her serious voice, it scares me, like a monster.”

She apologized, we talked it over, and I reminded her that no matter what she does and no matter how upset I may be, I will always love her. I was also reminded that sometimes words are just words. In my daughter’s case, she may just be trying to express her frustration and doesn’t necessarily mean what she says. In short, I should not take all her outbursts to heart…especially when there will be many more to come as she grows into her teenage years.

How do you deal with emotional outbursts?