My brother recently had a baby girl, his third child after two boys. I asked him this past weekend if he felt much different in parenting a girl versus parenting boys. It’s something I think about a lot with fathers since I know they tend to be ultra-overprotective with their daughters. I see this with my own husband too.

Though we’d like to believe we put all traditional stereotypes on gender roles aside, the reality is that much of our parenting is still based on what we know (or believe) to be true about boys and girls. From birth, we act a certain way with our babies, depending on whether they’re boys or girls. Boys are talked to in a stronger voice and told things like, “Nice grip, my man!” by their daddies. Girls are immediately called “little princesses” and spoken to in a softer tone.

It’s not something I’m proud of, but one of my initial reactions to my baby boy was to say, “I didn’t know boys could be so sweet!” It’s not like I thought boys were mean, especially from birth, but hearing me say that, one might think so.

Fathers tend to be more guilty of these things than moms. They are usually the ones to tell their boys to “man up” and typically provide more cuddles to their daughters than their sons. I believe moms usually want to cuddle their boys just as much as their girls, but even we sometimes fall into the trap of treating our kids different based on gender. I’ve caught myself saying things like, “It’s a boy thing,” when describing some of baby boy’s actions. Why is that?

The fact is that a lot of the differences probably have nothing to do with whether he’s a boy or she’s a girl. Differences might just be due to their personalities or a variety of other reasons. Our kids are so complex and so much goes into what makes them who they are, that who knows why they do what they do. Don’t you think?

Have you found yourself acting different when parenting your boys and girls? Do you feel fathers are more guilty of this than moms?

Photo: bingbing/Flickr

Frogs and snails
And puppy-dogs’ tails,

That’s what little boys are made of.

Sugar and spice
And everything nice,

That’s what little girls are made of.

A few years ago I asked a friend of mine to share if she thought raising boys is different from raising girls. At the time, my husband and I had not yet decided to have a second child, but I still wondered how different it would be to raise a boy from raising a girl. As you can read in her post, my friend let me know that yes, it is vastly different to raise a boy than it is to raise a girl. But, she explained that it’s not for the reasons you might expect.

When baby boy was born, I distinctly remember saying to my husband, “I had no idea boys would be so sweet!” I was genuinely surprised that my baby boy was just as cute, sweet-smelling, and precious as my baby girl was. I didn’t think I’d have the same feelings of overwhelming cuteness with him as I did when baby girl was an infant. You hear so many things about boys being “little monsters” and little girls being everything “sugar and spice” that it just never dawned on me I’d find my baby boy as cute as my little girl. But, he is, and I love it.

A year into parenting both a girl and a boy, I can say that there are differences, for sure. Some fall in-line with the typical boy behavior I had always heard about, but some are still surprises. I find that my boy is just as sweet as his sister is, and just as stubborn. I laugh at the fact he knows precisely when to turn on the charm – at the exact moment he knows I need him to. My baby boy is cute, loving, cuddly, and full of hugs. Yes, he does tear things down and climb more than his sister did at the age of one, but he always comes back to mami for some snuggles.

Why don’t we hear more of these type of stories when it comes to boys? Instead we hear nursery rhymes such as the one at the top of this post claiming boys are nothing but gross. If you ask my baby girl, she’ll tell you her little brother is “oh so sweet!” Little boys can be everything nice too.

I’d love to hear your stories about raising boys and raising girls! What has surprised you the most about parenting both? Or perhaps you have a story from growing up with sisters and brothers! Share them in the comments below!