“Generalizations are necessary to understand the world we live in.”

The above statement was from a tweet I received the other day in response to my article about ¡Q’Viva! The Chosen. My article focused on how the show is highlighting Latinos in a positive way and I wrote that they’re sharing Latino culture on TV without the stereotypes. In response to my tweet about the article, someone wrote back that I should have specified “negative stereotypes” and then continued the tweet with the sentence above.

It took me a couple of times of reading the tweet to understand what she was saying. But, it took a bit longer for me to fully think about it, process it, and figure out how I truly felt about the statement. My initial reaction was “What? Stereotypes are inherently negative!” After thinking more about it and discussing with a friend, I realized that not all stereotypes are necessarily negative, though I still believe that the act of stereotyping is a negative thing. Did you get all that?

What I mean to say is that stereotypical statements such as, “Latinas are good dancers,” (to use an example my friend gave me) may not be negative in and of themselves since they are not saying anything bad about the group. This is not the same type of stereotype as saying “Puerto Ricans are drug dealers,” which is saying something negative about a group. However, the fact that a group is being generalized about in the first place is a negative thing. So, even saying that Latinas are good dancers is still a negative thing, in my opinion. Also, think of those poor Latinas who may not, in fact, be good dancers!

To address the second part of the tweet I received, which is the quote at the beginning of this post – why exactly are generalizations necessary? Are we not able to live without them? Must we have generalizations in order to get along with each other and coexist? I really don’t believe that.

We’ve become so accustomed to labels that perhaps it feels as if they’re necessary. But, are they really? I’m guilty of it myself and know that I feed into some stereotypes too. I’m not saying I’m without fault. But, I truly don’t believe that generalizations, or stereotypes, are necessary for our society.

I invite you to join this discussion and share your thoughts with me in the comments below. Are generalizations/stereotypes necessary to understand our world? Please keep it civilized and do not take this as an opportunity to bash others. I will be closely monitoring the discussion and will not allow any statements that are not necessary for the discussion.

Photo: David Childers/Flickr

When we moved to Florida from Puerto Rico, I was eight years old and already one month into third grade. I left behind the private Catholic school that had just begun to accept girls as students that year and came to a standard public school in the city of Orlando. My first day at this new school, I experienced what I believe to be my first encounter with racism.

It was during PE class and we were playing volleyball. I am not sure exactly how it happened or what caused it, but what I remember is that out of nowhere this little boy on the other side of the net screamed out to me, “Why don’t you just go back to Africa?” I remember clearly staring at him and wondering, “Why is he telling me to go to Africa? I’m from Puerto Rico!” It wouldn’t be until many years later that I would fully understand the meaning of what was said to me.

People often say things like “It’s hard to believe that in a year like 2011, we still have discrimination,” and ask my husband and I questions such as “Do you really feel discriminated against?” We’ve had discussions with friends explaining just how prevalent discrimination still is, even in 2011.

Reading The Headshake on Latinaish got me thinking about the various times either my husband or I have gotten looks. It tends to happen more when we’re together, than when I’m alone. Normally we get looks when we’re out and about shopping. It’s because they think we might steal something. Here’s how the scenario usually plays out.

As we enter a store, a sales clerk will typically greet us, though this isn’t always the case. We will begin to browse and will get the customary, “Can I help you with anything?” line. After we politely say, “No, thank you. We’re just looking,” the clerk doesn’t really ever leave. The majority of the time we are followed around, the clerk always keeping a few feet of distance between us. As we look around at other customers, though, they are not being watched so closely. Interestingly, this used to happen a lot more when my husband had his hair in dreads.

Now, I used to work in retail, particularly in shoe stores. I was given the training materials that say the best way to avoid theft was to greet each and every customer, alerting them to the fact that you are aware of their presence in the store. I also had to deal on several occasions with managers that would ask me to follow certain customers around the store – solely based on their appearance as they entered the store. So, I am all too familiar with the practice.

I don’t claim to have lived a hard life full of discrimination. By all means, that is definitely not true. I lived a rather sheltered life of living in the suburbs with a middle-class way of life. Compared to my husband’s youth, I have nothing to complain about, really. He has endured way more discrimination than I have. Yet, even with the sheltered youth I had, I was still greeted to the United States with a “why don’t you go back” attitude, literally.

What does this mean for my kids? They are both biracial, multicultural, and with different shades of brown. As I look around my daughter’s preK classroom, she is the only one with dark skin and one of two Latina girls in her class. There is another little girl whose mom is from China and the rest of the kids are White. While I know this is a reflection of the neighborhood we live in, I have to wonder how often she will be the “token” girl as she grows up. How will she be treated? Will she ever have to deal with someone telling her to “go back” even though there’s nowhere for her to go back to?

Other articles worth reading:

• Curly Hair is Beautiful Too! How Everyday Conversations Become Life Lessons in Our House.
• Brown is Not Enough
• I’m White, My Daughter is Latina, and I Buy Black Dolls

I’ve been asked a difficult question.

I was asked to write about what it means to me to be a Latina.

To be honest, I had never really given it much thought until now.

I mean, do people normally go around thinking, “What does it mean to me to be a woman?” Or a man? Or do Americans think to themselves, “What does it mean to me to be American?”

It’s just who you are. It’s you. To me, it’s much the same.

Being Latina is a large part of my identity. To be specific, being Puerto Rican is really a major influence in who I am.

I was born in Puerto Rico, but we moved to Florida when I was 8 years old. Although I’ve spent many more years in Florida than I did in Puerto Rico, my parents made sure to maintain our culture in our house. I was raised pretty much the same way I would have had we stayed in Puerto Rico. (Ok, like 90% since obviously there are outside influences from school, friends, etc.) But, my parents spoke Spanish in the house (and still do), we listened to Spanish music, we ate Puerto Rican food, and I was taught values and traditions that are important to our culture.

All of those things helped to make me who I am. However, being Latina is not just a matter of “I listen to Spanish music,” or “I eat rice and beans.” That is not what makes me Latina.

To me, it’s more about the overall culture, values, traditions, and beliefs. It’s about understanding why family is so important to us. Or understanding why my parents believed that as the youngest sibling and the only girl, I couldn’t do some of the same things my brothers did. And, how about the fact that now that I’m older and my parents are aging, I must understand why my father prefers to speak with my brother (who lives in Milwaukee) about his health issues than with me who lives 10 minutes away?

These may seem like trivial points, but if you understand the way our culture operates and the overall mentality, it’s easier to understand why these things happen the way they do.

So, what does it mean to me to be Latina? It means a rich culture, deep values, traditions, pride, and an overall appreciation for yourself and your family.

What does it mean to you?

Baby girl: “Daddy, you need a haircut.”
Husband: “Do I?”
Baby girl: “Yes, but not too much. Just a little off the top. You don’t want to be bald because then people would laugh at you.”
Husband (after some laughter): “Well baby, I don’t really care if people laugh at me. If they laugh at me because I’m bald, then they’re not good people, right?”
Baby girl: “Right.”
Husband (to me): “Man, every conversation these days turns into some great life lesson, doesn’t it?”
Me: “Yeah. sigh…”

And, it’s true. There seems to be no shortage of conversations we’re having with our 4-year-old these days that turns into some greater message or life lesson.

If she says anything about curly hair, there we are reinforcing the idea that “curly hair is so beautiful!” If we’re talking colors, once again, my husband and I pipe in like a PSA ad to say, “Don’t forget black! Black is such a pretty color.”

To some of you, this may seem a bit unnecessary or even extreme. Why do we continually have to say these things? Why not just let her live her little 4-year-old life, right? But, the truth is that when you’re raising a multicultural child, you have to constantly look out for signs and provide the proper message to your kid. She is surrounded by dolls, ads, friends, and other images that are not like her, so it’s up to her father and I to surround her with images and messages that are like her and remind her that she too should be admired.

Photo by Rashod Taylor

And, it’s not just the media we’re up against. Even family members can be culprits – without really recognizing the side effect. Just a few weeks ago, my own mother said, “Ay no! That will make her hair more curly!” when my husband said he wants to braid (corn row) my daughter’s hair. Once again, there we were saying, “There’s nothing wrong with curly hair!” It’s even difficult for me at times, to be sure I’m sending the right message to her. I have to catch myself from saying things like, “I like my hair better straight,” since I don’t want her to perceive that straight is necessarily better.

It can get exhausting at times to always be thinking about what you’re saying/doing/watching and whether or not it will affect your impressionable 4-year-old’s self-esteem. This is even more true if you’re in what’s considered the “minority” group of society.

In a way, though, all of these conversations are also helping me to feel better about my own self. Who knew that by trying to ensure my daughter grows up confident, in turn, I would help myself feel a little more confident in a body I’ve known for 30 years?

Additional thoughts of mine on multiculturalism:

• Brown is Not Enough
• Barbie Dolls and Columbus Day. What’s the Connection?

I’ve come across quite a few blog posts the past few days. I always seem to be sharing interesting articles with various people I think will like them, so I figured I’d share with everyone this time.

Here are some posts I’ve either bookmarked or stumbled this week. For more, take a look at my StumbleUpon or Delicious pages.

Social Media

How to Create a FaceBook Landing Page for Your Blog

5 Ways I’m Using Facebook to Drive Traffic, Build Brand and Increase Reader Engagement

10 Beautiful Social Media Infographics

Blogging

A Complete Guide to Finding and Using Incredible Flickr Images

Comment on other blogs!

The Number One Way to Flip Your Blog into a Business

Personal

Our Pre-Motherhood Self

Retroacculturation. Retroacculturated. That’s me. Is it You?

I’m still not White, but am I American Indian?

What posts did you come across this week that you think I should read? It’s ok if it’s your own.

By the way, if you’re Latina and a blogger, please complete this survey. We will be presenting some of the results during our BlogHer Latinas in Social Media panel and of course, the survey report will have a much larger impact as it will help many learn about the Latina blogging community.

Disclosure: I received Little Pim products for review purposes. No other compensation received.

By now you know that my husband and I have committed to raising bilingual children. Coming from different cultures ourselves, our daughter has the benefit of growing up multicultural and learning two languages – English and Spanish. Though my first language was Spanish, having moved to Florida at a young age and living here the majority of my life, has resulted in me speaking mostly Spanglish rather than true Spanish. I often have to force myself to think of the words in order to hold a Spanish-only conversation. That is why I love to compensate speaking Spanish around the house with Spanish books, shows, games, and music, so that my baby girl can be exposed to Spanish as much as possible.

I’ve had the pleasure of receiving some additional Little Pim products to add to the Little Pim Spanish DVD I had previously received and reviewed. This time, I was able to review the Little Pim Spanish Word and Phrase Cards, Little Pim Spanish Bop CD, and the new Little Pim Word Bag app for the iPhone or iPod Touch.

Little Pim Spanish Word & Phrase Cards

With 60 cards to choose from, my daughter has fun picking out a few cards at random and making up a story about Little Pim. I love this for two reasons: 1) She’s not just staring at the card and words and repeating them one after the other. It’s much more interactive, which helps (in my opinion) her learn the word or phrase better. 2) Making up stories is a great way to encourage imaginative play!

We take out these cards a few at a time and either make up stories or just review how to say the word/phrase in Spanish. But, we’re usually making up stories – it’s much more fun!

Little Pim Spanish Bop CD

This CD has 15 songs from artists like Dan Zanes and Milkshake. There are three songs that are repeated in English at the end and all the lyrics for each song are included in the pamphlet in both Spanish and English. My daughter especially liked “Tía Monica” and its merengue rhythm, but other fun songs include “Clap Clap Clap” and “Las Comidas.” Of course, a personal favorite of mine is “El Coquí” since Coquís are native to Puerto Rico (no bias whatsoever here).

Little Pim Word Bag iPhone/iPod Touch App

Little Pim’s Word Bag allows your child to play in either Spanish or French. We enjoyed playing with this app on our iPod Touch and I love how it matches the style and feel of the DVD. Using the app, my daughter was able to easily find what words were in Little Pim’s word bag. It’s easy for her to use her finger to “take” the words out of his bag, hear and see the word, and laugh along with Little Pim.

Image from AppShopper

However, I think that it would have been much more cool to be able to “match” the words to the picture and make it a bit more interactive and game-like. It would have been fun to play a game and perhaps help Little Pim find his way through a story scenario by finding the words he needs. Or something like that anyway. Clearly, I’m not a game designer; I just think an interactive element to the app might make it even more fun than it already is.

Where to Purchase

You can purchase the Word and Phrase Cards and the Spanish Bop CD directly from the Little Pim site for $14.95 each or you can also find them on Amazon for the same price (in case you have Amazon gift cards you want to use).

• Purchase Little Pim Spanish Word & Phrase Cards on Amazon for $14.95
• Purchase Little Pim Spanish Bop CD on Amazon for $14.95

You can buy the Little Pim Word Bag iPhone App for $1.99 in the iTunes App Store.

Giveaway

One of you will win a set of the Little Pim Spanish Word & Phrase Cards and the Spanish Bop CD.

How to Enter

If you’d like to enter this contest for a Little Pim Spanish Word & Phrase Cards and Spanish Bop CD, simply leave a comment below and tell us which product you think your kids will enjoy from the Little Pim site.

For extra entries:

1. Tweet about this contest with a link back to this post and include @modernmami in your tweet. You must leave a separate comment with a link to your tweet for your entry to count.
2. Follow @Little_Pim on twitter and tweet the following: “@little_pim Hola Little Pim! Following from @modernmami for the #modernmami contest!“
3. Become a fan of ModernMami.com on Facebook and leave a comment with your Facebook name.
4. Subscribe to this blog via email and leave a comment with the email you used to subscribe. (You can use the email field to do this instead of putting your email in the comment if you prefer.)
5. Subscribe on friendfeed and leave a comment with your friendfeed ID.
6. Write a blog post on your own blog sharing with your readers your favorite Little Pim product you found on the Little Pim site. Make sure to link back to this contest page in your post. Leave a comment with your post link.

All entries must be in by Thursday, March 11 at 11:59 pm EST. Make sure to leave a separate comment for each entry. The winner will be chosen using Random.org and will be notified via email. (Please be sure to provide a valid email address with your entry.)

Happy Friday! I hope you have had a productive and fun week. For me, it’s been a good mix of the two, which is great because that’s how I define balance.

I’ve been busy working on a couple of Blogher 2010 Room of Your Own sessions as well as a new blog. So, today, I want to share my new projects with you.

BlogHer 2010

BlogHer has Room of Your Own sessions that you can submit a proposal for, then people can vote on whether or not they’d attend such a session, and hopefully your room is accepted and added to the conference agenda. It’s a way to get different topics on the agenda that may not have made it to the main track sessions. This year, I am excited to be a part of two sessions with some great friends.

Cross Cultural Encounters of the Virtual Kind: Achieving Understanding, Tolerance and Maybe Even World Peace Through Blogging

This session will focus on how in addition to multiculturalism, the blogging community also creates and sustains “cross culturalism” through blogging. I was approached by the lovely Faiqa of Native Born to speak with her in this panel. It’s great because there’s diversity between her and I – from our cultural background, our lives, and even our blogs. It’s sure to be a great conversation…if it gets accepted.

Latinas in Social Media: Are we out there? Let’s start the conversación!

Focusing on Latinas as a group and how we are using social media to develop relationships and promote our businesses with a distinct flavor, this session will feature a great group of Latinas:

• Dr. Daisy Sutherland (@DrMommy) of Dr. Mommy Helps Moms
• Monica Vila (@theonlinemom) of The Online Mom Network
• Jeannette Kaplun (@jeannettekaplun) of Todobebé
• Silvia Martinez (@mamalatina) of Mama Latina Tips
• Lexi (@laprimera) of La Primera Blog
• And…me!

How can you help?

If these session topics sound interesting to you, then click on the titles of each session above, login to the BlogHer site (free, easy registration if you don’t already have an account), and click on the link at the top that says “I would attend this session.” That will count as your vote for the session and will help it have a better chance of being accepted to the conference agenda.

New Blog

Ahhh…yes. My new baby. I’ve started a new blog and am launching it today! It’s a great topic, and I’m already having tons of fun with it. I hope you’ll join me in the fun and become a reader. I’d love to have you!

Want to know what it’s about? Well, you’ll just have to click on over to find out!

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Have a comment? Let’s hear your thoughts on these BlogHer sessions or share with us any fun and exciting projects you have going on. Just add your comments below!

And don’t forget to visit my new blog!

Most of you already know that we are a bi-cultural family and I myself am bilingual. As such, my husband and I decided that we would make an effort to raise our children bilingually so they could learn both English and Spanish. So far, our daughter is doing a great job of acquiring both languages and most important of all, actually showing an interest in Spanish, which is the minority language.

It helps that my parents are a big part of her life, since they both speak Spanish more often than I do. Because I speak English to my husband, spoke English in the workplace, and speak English for 95% of each day, it gets a little difficult sometimes for me to “switch” my brain and speak Spanish to my daughter. I have to remind myself. So, any little help I can get is useful in not just exposing her to Spanish, but also reminding me to do so. Which is why I love bilingual books, TV programs, and other toys.

When I was contacted by Smart Play about their new bilingual toy line, Ingenio, I was highly interested in reviewing their products. As the email I received said, “there are very few affordable toys/games available for parents who want their children to be bilingual.” In my experience when shopping for baby girl, this has been true. Their products fill this need since 8 out of the 10 products they have so far cost less than $12.99. All ten products are designed for children 3-8 years old, which is perfect for my baby girl.

We received the Animal Learning Puzzle and the Spellable Puzzle Card Game. I was looking forward to playing the Spellable game with baby girl because it allows you to spell 3 letter words in English and Spanish. I thought this would be a great way to step up her learning and go beyond just the alphabet and on to forming words and promoting word recognition. Like any preschooler, she was super excited at the beginning, but after about 10 words or so, her focus began to fade. Since I don’t want to be a drill sergeant and “force” learning on her, but rather have it be a natural part of her playing and surroundings, I followed her cue and put away the game for another time.

But, just in that short period of time, I saw a few things that I liked about this product:

• Each letter is color coded; consonants are green & vowels are purple. I like this because you can add variety to the game by sorting the letters. Now she’s not just working on phonics, but also classifying items.
• Every letter card has a picture on the back that doubles for a word in English AND Spanish. So, you have pictures of juice/jugo for J and lamp/lampara for L, etc. Even the hard letters like Q work; Q has a quesadilla on the back.
• The spelling cards are also color coded; blue for English and red for Spanish. This helped my daughter know which language to use when trying to spell the word.

The animal puzzle was also fun to play with and has the name of each animal printed in both English and Spanish. It also displays the words for the surroundings in both languages. For example, tree/árbol and mountain/montaña. It’s a very cute puzzle and my daughter enjoyed teaching her dad the names of the animals in Spanish when they later put it together without me.

Giveaway

You too have a chance at trying out some Ingenio products! One of you can win a set of the Alphabet cards along with the Spellable Puzzle Card Game. The winner will receive both products.

How to Enter

1. If you’d like to enter this contest, simply leave a comment below and let me know if you already promote a bilingual home or why you would like to expose your child to another language.
2. For an extra entry, you can tweet about this contest with a link back to this post and include @modernmami in your tweet. You must leave a separate comment with a link to your tweet for your entry to count.

All entries must be in by Sunday, November 22nd at 11:59 pm EST. The winner will be chosen using Random.org and will be notified via email. (Please be sure to provide a valid email address with your entry.)

It’s funny how the world sometimes reaches out to you. I’m not normally one to go around “looking for signs,” but sometimes you just can’t miss them.

Two months ago, I wrote about how brown dolls are not enough and we need more multicultural dolls.

This weekend, I came across an article titled Mattel introduces black Barbies. Introduces? It seemed odd since there have been black Barbies in the brand for a while. But, as the article’s opening line states, the So in Style dolls are “…a new line of black Barbie dolls with fuller lips, a wider nose and more pronounced cheek bones — a far cry from Christie, Barbie’s black friend who debuted in the 1960s and was essentially a white doll painted brown.”

Facial features. Going beyond just painting dolls brown. Finally!

The last connecting dot in all this is that the dolls’ designer, Stacey McBride-Irby, was just at the Blogalicious 2009 conference held this past weekend. So here I am on Monday, reading some of the conference recaps and the #blogalicious tweets and find myself circling back to the article I just read. And back to thinking about my baby girl and how she just might have a chance at seeing things differently growing up.

All of this on a day where part of the world celebrates and the other part watches Reconsider Columbus Day and nods their head in agreement.

It is encouraging to see that my baby girl will have dolls in her likeness to play with. And though I agree with the critique that the Barbie So in Style dolls have mostly long straight hair, I also see that there’s a huge improvement over the dolls I played with. Side note: two of the dolls do have short, curly hair, so I can see that it was given some thought. And my husband also pointed out just what the dolls’ designer had in mind – little girls love to comb their doll’s hair.

It is also encouraging to think that my daughter may not have to celebrate Columbus Day, but instead might have a chance at real education on the subject of Columbus and the history behind him “discovering” America. That is, in school, and not just supplemental education provided by my husband and I.

Most wouldn’t even connect these two. Dolls and Columbus day? But, the world calls out sometimes in a funny way and your mind connects the dots in an even more interesting manner.

So here I am. Feeling optimistic that my multicultural and bilingual daughter will be able to embrace both sides of her family, both cultures, and be loved by all as the Black and Latina woman she will become.

Watch these videos and consider the following questions:

• Why haven’t I seen any commercials for the dolls? The article was the first time I heard about them.
• Why haven’t I seen them in the stores? I was *just* in the Barbie aisle the other day at Target looking for a present for a birthday party we were attending Saturday. I do not remember seeing these dolls.
  • Edited 10/13/09: Ok, I went into a Target again last night and did see a few of the dolls.
• What will I teach my child(ren) about Christopher Columbus?

Reconsider Columbus Day

Barbie So-In-Style Dolls Friends Of Barbie Meet The Designer Part One

****This post was originally posted in March 2009 at Family Eden. Since that blog is no longer active, I wanted to share with you.****

I’ve been asked a difficult question.

I was asked to write about what it means to me to be a Latina.

To be honest, I’ve never really given it much thought.

I mean, do people normally go around thinking, “What does it mean to me to be a woman?” Or a man? Or do Americans think to themselves, “What does it mean to me to be American?”

It’s just who you are. It’s you.

To me, it’s much the same.

Being Latina is a large part of my identity. To be specific, being Puerto Rican is really a major influence in who I am.

I was born in Puerto Rico, but we moved to Florida when I was 8 years old. Although I’ve spent many more years in Florida than I did in Puerto Rico, my parents made sure to maintain our culture in our house. I was raised pretty much the same way I would have had we stayed in Puerto Rico. (Ok, like 90% since obviously there are outside influences from school, friends, etc.) But, my parents spoke Spanish in the house (and still do), we listened to Spanish music, we ate Puerto Rican food, and I was taught values and traditions that are important to our culture.

All of those things helped to make me who I am.

However, being Latina is not just a matter of “I listen to Spanish music,” or “I eat rice and beans.” That is not what makes me Latina.

To me, it’s more about the overall culture, values, traditions, and beliefs. It’s about understanding why family is so important to us. Or understanding why my parents believed that as the youngest sibling and the only girl, I couldn’t do some of the same things my brothers did. And, how about the fact that now that I’m older and my parents are aging, I must understand why my father prefers to speak with my brother (who lives in Milwaukee) about his health issues than with me who lives 10 minutes away?

These may seem like trivial points, but if you understand the way our culture operates and the overall mentality, it’s easier to understand why these things happen the way they do.

So, what does it mean to me to be Latina?

It means a rich culture, deep values, traditions, pride, and an overall appreciation for yourself and your family.

Oh! And the great music and sabrosa comida don’t hurt!

What does it mean to you?

September 15 – October 15 is Hispanic Heritage Month. How will you celebrate?