My brother recently had a baby girl, his third child after two boys. I asked him this past weekend if he felt much different in parenting a girl versus parenting boys. It’s something I think about a lot with fathers since I know they tend to be ultra-overprotective with their daughters. I see this with my own husband too.

Though we’d like to believe we put all traditional stereotypes on gender roles aside, the reality is that much of our parenting is still based on what we know (or believe) to be true about boys and girls. From birth, we act a certain way with our babies, depending on whether they’re boys or girls. Boys are talked to in a stronger voice and told things like, “Nice grip, my man!” by their daddies. Girls are immediately called “little princesses” and spoken to in a softer tone.

It’s not something I’m proud of, but one of my initial reactions to my baby boy was to say, “I didn’t know boys could be so sweet!” It’s not like I thought boys were mean, especially from birth, but hearing me say that, one might think so.

Fathers tend to be more guilty of these things than moms. They are usually the ones to tell their boys to “man up” and typically provide more cuddles to their daughters than their sons. I believe moms usually want to cuddle their boys just as much as their girls, but even we sometimes fall into the trap of treating our kids different based on gender. I’ve caught myself saying things like, “It’s a boy thing,” when describing some of baby boy’s actions. Why is that?

The fact is that a lot of the differences probably have nothing to do with whether he’s a boy or she’s a girl. Differences might just be due to their personalities or a variety of other reasons. Our kids are so complex and so much goes into what makes them who they are, that who knows why they do what they do. Don’t you think?

Have you found yourself acting different when parenting your boys and girls? Do you feel fathers are more guilty of this than moms?

Photo: bingbing/Flickr

When I was young, my mom used the phrase “This hurts me more than it hurts you,” more than once. I could never wrap my brain around that statement and remember wondering how it could possibly be true because I was feeling actual pain! Mind you, I was rarely hit, but the very few times I was disciplined, it crossed my mind.

As adults, my brothers and I have mentioned this to our mom, in a laughing and non-complaining manner. We’ve done so in those conversations where we all get together and reminisce about our childhoods. I remember the first time we mentioned this particular statement to her, she reacted by apologizing and saying that sometimes you just don’t realize what you say as a parent.

These types of memories from my own childhood and conversations with my mom led me to say that I would never utter similar words to my children when I became a mother myself. Think that worked out well? Here are seven phrases I never imagined I’d say as a mom, but that unfortunately, I’ve had the displeasure of saying.

7 Things I Never Thought I’d Say as a Mother

1. Stop licking your toes!
2. Also, don’t lick your brother’s toes!
3. Because I said so…
4. I don’t care, just do it!
5. When I was your age…
6. I swear…you kids are going to kill me!
7. Seriously? SERIOUSLY??!!!

As a parent, have you found yourself saying things you never thought you would? Please share them in the comments below! I’d love to hear them!

Photo: Paula Rey/Flickr

These days, I’m barely able to find a little quiet time for myself. Even with these 7 ways to squeeze in ‘me time’, I don’t always feel like I can make it happen. As the majority of you know, there’s a lot that goes into raising two kids, owning a business, and juggling all the roles a woman plays. If we don’t make ourselves a priority and take time for ourselves, it’s just not going to happen. We have to make it happen, right? This is me making it happen for two of you! Read on for some cool tips and a fun giveaway to help you get some ‘me time’ in your week.

I figured the best people to ask for tips for getting some ‘me time’ would be other moms and business owners. After all, who wants advice from someone not walking the walk? These ladies live a full life, just as you and I do, and have shared their ideas, tips, and tricks for adding some ‘me time’ to their lives.

Tips from Real Moms on Taking Time for Yourself

“I like to do shopping, or window shopping, run or do yoga, read a good book, or watch comedy or reality TV–preferably with a glass of wine,” shared Kelly of The Centsible Life, who also lists 10 ways to get some ‘me’ time while updating your look or wardrobe on her own site.

“Sometimes I just have to lock myself in the bathroom,” says Megan of SweetSadieMarie.com. Monica of Mommy Maestra shared Megan’s sentiments saying she too locks the bathroom door!

Julie at Julieverse.com stresses that ‘me time’ is a total necessity in mommying, and also says her favorite ways to get ‘me time’ include, “gym time, mani/pedis, quiet time at a coffee shop, shopping.”

“I send my kids and husband to the park,” is Silvia’s trick for getting ‘me time’. Silvia writes at Mamá Latina Tips.

Jessica of Found the Marbles had this to say: “Because I have worked from home for the past six years I need to get out of my house to truly decompress, whether that means having dinner or drinks with girlfriends or getting out on a Saturday night with my husband.” Jessica also shared The Art of Decompressing with readers on her site.

“I leave the house with my laptop and iPad citing that I’m off to the grocery store. Then I spend hours at my local coffee house enjoying a day of caffeine and writing,” said Sara, Founder and Editor at www.mommafindings.com

Nadia of JusticeJonesie.com told us: “For me time, I pick one of my two Cs. Cocktails with friends or a coffee at a coffee house somewhere.”

“I squeeze me time after work or head on over to the coffee shop for FREE wifi on weekends. I love me time. I need more of it,” was the tip provided by Eva of Tech.Food.Life.

As you can see, everyone has their own way of getting some ‘me time’ and taking some time to relax. Hopefully, you’ve learned some new tricks you didn’t already know! To help you out even more, two of you will win a fun ‘me time’ kit to put these tips to use and have some time for yourself!

We’ve partnered with CVS/pharmacy to provide the following essentials for a little self-pampering, all of which you can find at your local CVS store or online:

• Essence of Beauty Ultra Soft Spa Set
• Essence of Beauty Faux Sea Sponge
• Nuance Salma Hayek Shampoo and Conditioner
• Nuance Salma Hayek Eye Quad
• Designer Fragrance
• Sally Hansen Nail Polish
• Godiva Chocolates

‘Me Time’ Essentials Giveaway

We want you to have some ‘me time’ and take care of yourself, so we’re giving two of you this kit full of ‘me time’ essentials! Consider it an early Mother’s Day gift for yourself or give it away to your own mom or special lady in your life!

How to Enter

Required entry: If you’d like to enter this giveaway for a ‘me time’ kit, simply leave a comment below sharing your favorite way to make time for yourself.

Extra entries (optional):
Each of the following will count as 1 extra entry. You’ll need to leave a separate comment for each entry.

1. Follow @modernmami on Twitter.
2. Tweet the following (1 time only): Need some ‘me time’? Who doesn’t?! Enter to win a ‘me time’ pampering kit from @modernmami! http://bit.ly/metimeideas #giveaway #balance
3. Receive post updates by subscribing to our RSS feed. You can do so either via email or through a RSS reader. Leave a comment saying you did so or are already a subscriber.
4. Write a blog post on your own blog sharing the details of this giveaway. Be sure to include a link back to this post. Leave a comment with your post link.

All entries must be in by Sunday, May 6, 2012 at 11:59 pm EST. You must be 18 or older and a U.S. resident. No purchase necessary. Remember to leave a separate comment for each entry. The winners will be chosen using Random.org and will be notified via email. (Please be sure to provide a valid email address with your entry.) Winners will have 48 hours to respond and claim prize, otherwise a new winner will be chosen.

Disclosure: I received the same ‘me time’ kit from CVS/pharmacy in order to facilitate this giveaway. No compensation received.

Top photo: D. Sharon Pruitt

What do you normally do on Mother’s Day? Do you stay home and relax? Go out to eat?

This will be my 5th year celebrating Mother’s Day for myself; before that it was all about my mami. Of course, that means that I share the celebrations with my mom now. Usually, this means I do a little relaxing at home with my family and then visit my mother for the other half of the day. I think once we all went out to eat together. But, we’ve never really done a family day out for Mother’s Day. I think maybe next year I will plan a beach trip so we can all enjoy the wonderful May weather and both my mom and I can relax by the ocean.

To celebrate Mother’s Day, Nestle Family is currently holding a national giveaway on their site and also offering a giveaway for ModernMami.com readers.

Mother’s Day to Remember National Sweepstakes

You could win $8,000 toward a family dream vacation plus $2,000 for a spa day or night out on the town with your friends. See details and enter at Nestle Family by May 31, 2010.

ModernMami.com Reader Giveaway

One of you could win a prize pack full of the following coupons and products ($150 value):

• $29.99 Shutterfly gift card
• 30-day supply of Glowelle
• Carnation Instant Breakfast Essentials
• Juicy Juice
• Dreyer’s ice cream
• Toll House
• Nesquik
• Cranberry Raisinets
• Stouffer’s
• Nestle Pure Life
• Wonka Exceptionals
• Wonka Sploshberries
• Recipe cards featuring recipes from meals.com

How to Enter

Required entry: If you’d like to enter this contest, simply leave a comment below and tell us how you normally celebrate Mother’s Day.

Extra entries (optional):

Each of the following will count as 1 extra entry. You’ll need to leave a separate comment for each entry.

1. Follow @modernmami on twitter.
2. Tweet the following: Enter to win $150 worth of Nestle products at @modernmami. Ends 5/13. http://bit.ly/dcoTFJ #giveaway #contest
3. Like ModernMami.com on Facebook and leave a comment on this post with your Facebook name.
4. Subscribe to this blog via email and leave a comment with the email you used to subscribe. (You can use the email field to do this instead of putting your email in the comment if you prefer.)
5. Subscribe on friendfeed and leave a comment with your friendfeed ID.
6. Write a blog post on your own blog sharing with your readers how you celebrate Mother’s Day and make sure to link back to this contest page in your post. Leave a comment with your post link.

All entries must be in by Thursday, May 13 at 11:59 pm EST. Remember to leave a separate comment for each entry. The winner will be chosen using Random.org and will be notified via email. (Please be sure to provide a valid email address with your entry.)

Hope all you mamis have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

Disclosure: In conjunction with hosting this giveaway, I will also receive a Nestle Family prize pack.

Looking for some last minute Mother’s Day gift ideas for that special lady in your life? Here are a few suggestions for those busy working moms you know.

Mother’s Day Gift Ideas for the Working Mom

Workplace Flexibility: Realigning 20th-century Jobs for a 21st-century Workforce

Though I have not personally read this book, the woman who likes to read non-fiction and is interested in topics related to work-life balance may find it right up her alley. Workplace Flexibility brings together 16 essays authored by leading experts in economics, demography, political science, law, sociology, anthropology, and management. They examine existing business practices and public policy regarding flexibility in the United States, Europe, Australia, and Japan. The book presents a compelling argument for voluntary adoption of best flexibility practices that are a win-win for both the employer and the employee.

Slow Cooker

I know first-hand how hard it can be to put dinner on the table on busy weeknights, when you’ve had a long day at work and just want to relax yourself. I received a slow cooker for Christmas, and have found it useful on several occasions for cooking meals while away. Some women may not want a kitchen appliance as a gift, but there are those who will appreciate having a slow cooker in the house to help with the daily dinner rush.

Subscription to Working Mother Magazine

A good magazine subscription can make for a great gift. Many women enjoy browsing through magazines for new ideas, tips, and information. As the title indicates, this magazine is tailored for the working mother.

Smart Phone

Image from Volker on Mobile

Smart phones can be very useful for a working mother. She may find that she’s able to increase productivity using a smart phone and balance the home and work life better.

Wii Fit Plus

I love my Wii Fit Plus and use it to exercise, relax, and have fun. I like that I can use it in a variety of ways depending on my mood and that I can even play alongside my baby girl. This might actually become more of a family gift, but mom will appreciate it too.

Spa Gift Card

Photo by Thomas Wanhoff

Of course, you can never go wrong with a gift card so your special lady can get away for a bit and get some me time. Treat her to a massage, facial, or just some relax time with a spa gift card and she’ll definitely be happy!

What is your favorite Mother’s Day gift to give those special women in your life?

Disclosure: Links to products are Amazon.com affiliate links.

“Working fathers are struggling to juggle the competing demands of family and career, according to a report that shows that they are just as uneasy with their work-life balance as mothers.“

No surprise there. But, perhaps this isn’t obvious to everyone else.

The above quote is from the UK-based article titled Working fathers want more time with their children too. The article outlines some key points from the Fathers, Family and Work report by the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC). A few interesting points in the article:

• 42% of fathers felt they were not able to spend enough time with their children
• About two in five men fear that asking for flexible working arrangements would result in their commitment to their job being questioned.
• “…employers think of women as a potential burden because they worry they will want flexible conditions. It will be helpful for women…once men are also seen as likely to demand flexible working.”

I guess it’s good for formal research to be completed and a report published on what I feel is something most men and women probably already knew. I know that my husband struggles with being a working dad just as much as I do with being a working mom. Of course he wants to spend more time with baby girl. And of course he has a hard time with balancing it all. He often works with me on planning our evening schedules and household calendar to try to manage all aspects of our daily lives.

Is this news to you or does this just confirm what you already knew? Let me know in the comments what you think of the article, the report, or just working dads in general.

A few months back, Sheena of the Mommy Daddy Blog posted some results of a study that examined moms by race. In the post, only results of Caucasian and African American moms were included. So, I mentioned to Sheena that it would have been nice to know how Latina moms would have fared in such a study.

It turns out that the original study did include Hispanic moms.

The folks at BSM Media shared the full results with Sheena so that she could forward to me.

Here are some major findings of the study:

• Education and health care were listed as the primary concern  for the majority of all African American, Caucasian and Hispanic mothers. Hispanic moms (67%) responded that employment was another top concern.
• The top three challenges as a mother included saving for the future and the rising cost of food for all respondents. However, Caucasian moms named managing the desires of their children for material things as a challenge (45%), African American moms are battling with affordable housing (35%) and Hispanic moms are feeling challenged by the need for steady income (56%).
• While online, African American mothers are more likely to read articles (68%) and experience music (45%). Caucasian mothers are likely to frequent social networks (45%) and message boards (43%). Blogs were the top choice among Hispanic Moms (55%) followed by social networks (42%).
• When an African American mom catches a rare free moment, she is most likely to read (77%), Caucasian moms are most likely to surf the Internet (77%) and Hispanic moms enjoy spending time with their spouses (78%).
• When asked about their ultimate indulgences, Caucasian moms listed a rich dessert (48%) and a fine bottle of wine (40%) among their top treats. African American moms would rather indulge by sleeping late (60%) or getting away for the weekend (35%). Hispanic moms choose to treat themselves with spa treatments (50%) or long, hot baths (50%).
• Although the majority of all moms have made household adjustments to cope with the family crisis, African American moms are more likely to delay major purchases (57%) and avoid stores to reduce shopping (54%). Caucasian moms are coping by using coupons and discount codes (73%) and driving fewer places to conserve gas (62%). The most popular coping strategy among Hispanic moms is also using coupons (80%) but delaying major purchases is also common (68%).
• Overall, Caucasian and Hispanic moms think marketers are doing a better job in speaking to them than African American moms.

More information on the study can be found at the Marketing to Moms Blog by BSM Media, though their post also doesn’t include the results of Hispanic moms.

Do the results surprise you? Do you find the differences from one race to the other interesting?

Photo by brandysnow