At the beginning of this year, I reflected on what I am looking forward to for 2013 and shared some personal goals and planned changes. One of those is to grow my knowledge this year – to read more, learn something new, enhance a skill – something along those lines. You see, I used to have lots of dreams, ambitions, and the energy and drive to do it all. Somehow, in the hustle and bustle of wanting to be a good mom, and be there…I lost that.

My husband has noticed. My family has noticed. And, slowly, I came to the realization myself. I have moments of pure brain mush – where I can’t tap into knowledge I know I once had. I can’t remember how to do the complex math problems I used to do when studying years and years of high-level math and science during my Engineering courses. Heck, I can’t even work in that field now without going back to school. It’s just not there anymore.

That’s just but one example of how I feel I’m no longer the woman I used to be. I know I have goals in mind, but they are not as clearly defined as they once used to be. I know I’m motivated, but it’s not showing in tangible results – at least not in my mind. So, what’s a woman to do? How do I bring my snappy, energetic, ambitious, and intelligent self back?

To be honest, I haven’t quite figured this out yet. I’ve thought about buying myself a study book to revisit topics like math and science, just to give my brain a chance to be stimulated in a different manner. I’ve considered enrolling in some kind of local class or program. There are many options, obviously, but I have yet to narrow down my personal choices and decide what it is that I currently need. I suppose that’s a process in and of itself, right?

I’ll have to work on figuring this out and finding myself again (so to speak). In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you – do you ever find yourself wondering where the woman you were has gone? Do you find that motherhood has, in a way, stripped you of your previous identity?

Original photo: Fabiana/Flickr

Baby boy is starting to say more words these days. They aren’t many, but they sure are cute to hear! He’s been saying dada for a while now, and just recently started saying mama too, though he doesn’t say it very often. He was also saying small words like, wow, uh uh(to say no), and his sister’s name. In the past three months, especially in the last few weeks, he’s progressed to saying more words and even some phrases. Here’s some of what he says:

• No!
• Yeah
• I see you!
• Oh no!
• Uh oh!
• This way
• Bye!
• Hi!

Those words and phrases you can distinctly make out. In the case of no, it’s very, very clear! Isn’t that word always one they learn right away? There are a couple more words that are a little harder to understand, but we know it’s what he’s trying to say.

• Leche (milk) – He also signs this along with trying to say it.
• 1, 2, 3, go! – He doesn’t actually pronounce the numbers, but you can hear he says three one-syllable words before he says the word go, which is clear.
• Thank you – Pretty much every time we hand him something, he responds with a two-syllable phrase that very much sounds like he’s saying thank you!

It’s fun when kids are first learning to talk. I love hearing his little voice developing and seeing how quickly he picks up on things. He learned to say “I see you!” really fast after hearing me say it only a couple of times to him while playing peek-a-boo. Big sister loves hearing him talk too and will be the first one to come running if she thinks he said something new. Her favorite, of course, is hearing him say her name. She just about melts when he does that!

What were some of your babies’ first words?

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Disney Baby. I’ll be joining the Disney Baby blogging team next month, and look forward to sharing these kinds of stories with you over there! Stay tuned for more details!

Photo: Philippe Put/Flickr

It’s funny how different baby boy is from his big sister, and yet, how alike they also are. They are so alike, in fact, that when baby boy was a few months old, it was just like looking at a photo of baby girl from when she was the same age.

The similarities show up in interesting ways, though, and go beyond the physical. One thing he’s been doing lately is what we call the “pretend I’m sleeping game.” He lays down, pretends to snore (full-on snorting noise), and then sits up looking around the room saying, “Huh? Huh? Huh?” That last part is him pretending to wake up surprised.

His little game is funny, but it’s especially interesting and entertaining to us because his big sister did the exact same thing when she was about his age. And, I mean exactly. She played that game in the very same way and laughed about it just like he does.

To be honest, we’re not even sure where he picked up this game or if he saw someone do it. Baby girl hasn’t done it since she was much younger, so he didn’t learn it from her, for once. He just started doing it one day out of nowhere.

Of course, there are many other things we’ve noticed are the same between our boy and our girl. Some are very obvious and others more hidden. It’s amazing to us how two children can share so much, though they each have very distinct personalities. We’re loving it!

Have you noticed many similarities in your children or are they vastly different?

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Disney Baby. I’ll be joining the Disney Baby blogging team next month, and look forward to sharing these kinds of stories with you over there! Stay tuned for more details!

Photo: Lars Plougmann/Flickr

Yesterday, the kids and I went to a local indoor play center, Amaya Papaya. Baby girl found herself making friends with the owner’s daughter, who is the same age as her. Baby boy did what a typical 1-year-old toddler does – he went from center to center playing a little of this and a little of that without really interacting with other kids.

A couple of times he came running towards me with the beginnings of a crying face, though there was nothing wrong as far as I could tell. After the second time he did this, I realized he was doing so because he was hearing other babies crying. “Crap,” I thought, “The crying is contagious now.” But, then a few minutes later, as we were sitting down to eat a snack, something interesting happened.

A little baby girl, probably around 9 or 10 months old, was sitting on the floor and began to cry. Baby boy looked her way, then looked at me pointing to her. “She’s ok,” I told him. But, he continued pointing her way and started to go towards her beginning to cry as well. This time, though, he went up to her and patted the little girl’s back. My baby boy was trying to comfort her!

I realized the crying he was doing due to other babies crying wasn’t because the crying was contagious. He was crying out of sympathy! Another mom sitting nearby us with her 15-month-old boy said her little brother used to do the same when they were younger. He would cry whenever she cried.

I’ve noticed that the last few times my baby girl has been upset, her little brother looked at her and then started making up his face to cry as well. I just never put it all together until I saw him in action with another baby. My little baby boy is sympathetic! Sweet, isn’t it?!

Did your younger children do something similar with their older siblings?

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Disney Baby. I’ll be joining the Disney Baby blogging team next month, and look forward to sharing these kinds of stories with you over there! Stay tuned for more details!

Photo: memekode/Flickr

With this generation of parents raising children in a digital age, it’s no surprise that we’re sharing special parenting moments online. When our children do the cutest thing ever, we have this desire to share with the world – at least our Facebook world. Or maybe it’s Twitter. If you’re a blogger, and one that writes about parenting, then you’re especially prone to share these memories on your blog, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and every other social media platform you belong to. We must share.

I’m guilty of it. Just this week, I shared some tidbits from baby boy and baby girl’s lives that I thought were cute, humorous, or just special.

I don’t believe it’s a bad thing, honestly. I think we’ve just taken the traditional “water cooler” conversations into a new space. Sharing parenting moments is not a new thing. Our parents did it. Our grandparents did it. They just did it in other ways – talking to each other across the fence, sharing their kids’ milestones over lunch at work, or perhaps chatting when picking up the kids from school. It’s the same thing, except we’re now sharing with our online circle of parents.

The thing to be careful about, I suppose, is that we share in a respectful and cautious manner. Since we’re sharing online, the memories will last much longer than if we were just talking to our next door neighbor. These parenting moments we’re sharing will last pretty much forever once published online. This means our children will be able to find them one day. Depending on what you’re sharing, this can either be a great thing or not so good.

Personally, I try to share what I believe other parents will relate to, find humorous, or moments I find I need help with as a mother. I don’t share everything and mostly share those moments that make me laugh, but that are not embarrassing for my kids. In general, I believe I’m sharing the special memories and milestones, but not the bad stuff. At least, I try my best to be conscious of differentiating between the two. However, that’s not to say that if you do share the bad stuff, it’s a bad thing. I’m just saying I prefer not to.

Sharing our parenting moments, special memories of our children, and the humorous times in parenting, is all in our parenting nature. Our children will enjoy reading and hearing about the moments we document. In turn, they’ll share their own special childhood memories and storytelling traditions will continue throughout generations. Who knows what kind of stories they’ll share online when they get older, right? Maybe they’ll be talking about us!

What kind of parenting moments do you share online?

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Disney Baby. I’ll be joining the Disney Baby blogging team next month, and look forward to sharing these kinds of stories with you over there! Stay tuned for more details!

Photo: epSos.de/Flickr

It’s pretty sad to admit, but the truth is that my baby boy is suffering from second child syndrome. Don’t know what that is? It’s when you let go of those “must and should” expectations you had with your first baby.

We all know those things we did, bought, or thought we were supposed to do with our baby, don’t we? More than likely, you soon realized you really didn’t need that baby item. Or perhaps you figured out that it wasn’t such a big deal if things didn’t work out exactly as you read in that parenting book.

When you have a second baby, you are already so much more comfortable and confident as a mother, that you let go of many of those expectations. You know that things won’t ever go as planned and you learn to go with the flow. Unfortunately, this also means you slack on other aspects of parenting that you may later wish you had continued doing.

I think part of the second child syndrome is also due to the fact that you are constantly splitting your time and attention between two children. I certainly didn’t purposely neglect to do some things; it just sort of happened in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Here are a few examples. Perhaps you can relate?

Things I Did With My Girl That Didn’t Happen With My Boy

1. Memory book
2. Professional photographs for the milestone months and holidays
3. Followed behind her every move
4. Worry about every little thing (as much)
5. Use all the baby items and gadgets I thought I needed
6. Freak out when she fell
7. Stress over how much she ate

Now that I’m more conscious of this, I am trying to be better about it. I’m taking more photos of my baby boy, starting to document more of his moments and special quirks, and generally trying to create more memories. However, I think the reduced amount of worrying (about him falling, eating, etc.) is actually a good thing, since it allows him more freedom and independence.

If you have more than one child, do you think they suffer(ed) from second child syndrome? If not, how did you avoid it?

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Disney Baby. I’ll be joining the Disney Baby blogging team next month, and look forward to sharing these kinds of stories with you over there! Stay tuned for more details!

Photo: jerseygal2009/Flickr

I always thought I’d want to have three children. My then-boyfriend, now-husband, thought differently. He thought two would be just fine for our family, but wasn’t entirely against the idea of three. As we had our first child, we adjusted. Anyone who’s had a baby knows exactly how much your life completely turns upside down.

Our family of two became three. We went through the motions of nurturing, caring for, and learning all about our baby girl. As is quite typical within extended family, almost immediately after she was born, we were being asked if we wanted a second child. Our sleep-deprived, defunct brains couldn’t fathom another child. At the time, we were pretty sure our baby girl was going to be an only child.

Through the next few years, my husband and I went back and forth on the issue of having more children. Some months we missed having a young infant in the house and thought we’d eventually have another. Other months – especially those months our daughter was particularly going through a rough phase – we were sure we didn’t want any more. When our daughter hit the tantrum phase, we were pretty much ready to run to the doctor for reproductive surgery to ensure we didn’t have more children. Dealing with tantrums is always rough in parenting. Luckily, though, tantrums don’t last forever.

Once our baby girl got past tantrums and began to act like a human again, we began to have feelings of wanting another baby. It took us a while, but we eventually decided to go for it and try for a second child. Baby girl was four when we got pregnant and turned five when her baby brother was born.

Our family of three is now a family of four. And, we can’t imagine it any other way. It’s hard to think of the days when our baby boy was not around; it seems like he’s always been a part of our family. Of course, we’ve had adjustments, again, to raising two children versus just one child. Honestly, though, it hasn’t been too rough thus far.

My biggest surprise in having two children? How incredibly big their love for each other is! That little boy searches for his sister when she’s at school, is thrilled to see her, and is sad to see her go. In turn, rarely a minute goes by when she’s not talking to, playing with, or harassing her little bro. They were truly made for each other.

If you have more than one child, what has been the biggest surprise for you in parenting siblings?

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Disney Baby. I’ll be joining the Disney Baby blogging team next month, and look forward to sharing these kinds of stories with you over there! Stay tuned for more details!

Photo: Jim Hammer

As I look back on this blog, I realize that one of the things I enjoy most is sharing special parenting moments with you. It helps me reflect, take in, and enjoy those little, everyday moments, that are actually quite extraordinary. They are the ones we talk about when we get together and reminisce. Those are the moments that have created memories, as small as they seemed at the time.

Over the years, I’ve shared with you simple moments such as brushing my baby girl’s hair and enjoying the peacefulness of doing so, the 6 a.m. conversations we’ve had, and her love for her daddy. I’ve also shared big moments like the story of the day our baby girl was born, getting pregnant a second time, and the birth of our baby boy. They’re all important and all bring back memories.

I realize, though, that I haven’t documented much of baby boy’s life thus far. He’s almost eighteen months old already and is growing so fast! I want to take in his small moments too and be able to marvel at his simple, big, and momentous occasions. I think I’ll start sharing more of those with you from now on. Let’s start with some of what he’s doing at the moment.

• Baby boy is adventurous. He loves to walk, walk, and walk some more, all around the house, outside, and pretty much anywhere you’ll let him. Of course, this also means he likes to get into every corner, open doors, climb, and find his way into trouble as he explores.
• My little boy is sweet as can be. I’ve said it before that I was genuinely surprised by just how sweet boys can be. He loves to give rounds of hugs and goes back and forth between daddy, mommy, and his big sister. He’s a bit stingy with kisses, though.
• Baby boy is a comedian. This doesn’t surprise me much since his daddy and big sister are much the same way. He now knows that certain things he does will get a laugh from us and will do them on purpose. Of course, seeing him laugh (that big, belly-bouncing laugh that babies have), is all we really need to get us laughing.

There’s so much more he does on a daily basis, from running away when he knows he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t, to sitting down to “read” a book. The transition from baby to toddler is a fun stage in parenting, one that I look forward to documenting a second time.

In the meantime, I’m excited to share that I’m joining a team of bloggers for Disney Baby and will have a chance to share parenting stories with their audience! Stories, anecdotes, and memories such as the ones I’ve described will be shared by the Disney Baby blogging team on the Disney Baby site starting next month. Until then, expect to see them here on ModernMami.com a couple of times a week. If you want, visit the sites of the rest of the Disney Baby bloggers and get to know them!

• Andrea Howe, Four Flights of Fancy
• Nadia Carriere, Child Mode
• Amy Heinz, Using Our Words
• Selena Burgess, La Petit Reve
• Michelle Horton, Early Mama
• Melanie Blodgett, You Are My Fave
• Lauren Hartmann, The Little Things We Do
• Janssen Bradshaw, Everyday Reading
• Jacinda Boneau and Jamie Morrison Curtis, Prudent Baby
• Rachel Faucett, Handmade Charlotte
• Arianne Segerman, To Think Is to Create
• Casey Mullins, Moosh in Indy
• Natalie Holbrook, Nat the Fat Rat
• Amber Doty, The Daily Doty
• Meagan Francis, The Happiest Mom
• Becka Robinson, Life as an Artistpreneur
• John Cave Osborne, JohnCaveOsborne.com

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Disney Baby. I’ll be joining the Disney Baby blogging team next month, and look forward to sharing these kinds of stories with you over there! Stay tuned for more details!

Photo: Rob Ellis

When I was young, my mom used the phrase “This hurts me more than it hurts you,” more than once. I could never wrap my brain around that statement and remember wondering how it could possibly be true because I was feeling actual pain! Mind you, I was rarely hit, but the very few times I was disciplined, it crossed my mind.

As adults, my brothers and I have mentioned this to our mom, in a laughing and non-complaining manner. We’ve done so in those conversations where we all get together and reminisce about our childhoods. I remember the first time we mentioned this particular statement to her, she reacted by apologizing and saying that sometimes you just don’t realize what you say as a parent.

These types of memories from my own childhood and conversations with my mom led me to say that I would never utter similar words to my children when I became a mother myself. Think that worked out well? Here are seven phrases I never imagined I’d say as a mom, but that unfortunately, I’ve had the displeasure of saying.

7 Things I Never Thought I’d Say as a Mother

1. Stop licking your toes!
2. Also, don’t lick your brother’s toes!
3. Because I said so…
4. I don’t care, just do it!
5. When I was your age…
6. I swear…you kids are going to kill me!
7. Seriously? SERIOUSLY??!!!

As a parent, have you found yourself saying things you never thought you would? Please share them in the comments below! I’d love to hear them!

Photo: Paula Rey/Flickr

“You’re just a big monster!”

You may be used to hearing such words on the playground as one preschooler screams out to another after doing something he/she didn’t like. It happens all the time and more than likely after a few minutes, they’re back to being best friends again.

But, never, did I think I’d be hearing those words directed at me, much less from my own daughter. Well, at least I thought I had quite a few more years before the dramatic accusations came my way from an over-hormonal teenager. It seems, though, that is not the case. Five-year-olds, apparently, can be just as hormonal and dramatic.

In the past few weeks, my daughter has been hearing what she calls my “serious voice” quite a bit – more than I’d like. But, we try hard to be firm and consistent and though I know we’re still undergoing a transition in our house with a new baby, that does not excuse the misbehaving. So, when needed, serious voice it is.

However, every so often, the use of the serious voice causes her to begin crying. Sometimes, this escalates into a full-out dramatic scene of shouting out random phrases like, “You just don’t love me!” When asked why she’s crying when she knows she was doing something wrong and the situation wasn’t so severe, she once screamed out, “You’re just…you’re just such a big monster!”

Later that evening, I shared the incident with my husband and confessed that those little words were like a knife to my heart. I told him: “I don’t want her thinking I’m a big monster!” He laughed, because of course, she doesn’t really think I’m a big monster. He spoke to her during her bath that night and asked her why she said that. Her response: “Sometimes…when mami uses her serious voice, it scares me, like a monster.”

She apologized, we talked it over, and I reminded her that no matter what she does and no matter how upset I may be, I will always love her. I was also reminded that sometimes words are just words. In my daughter’s case, she may just be trying to express her frustration and doesn’t necessarily mean what she says. In short, I should not take all her outbursts to heart…especially when there will be many more to come as she grows into her teenage years.

How do you deal with emotional outbursts?