I always thought I’d want to have three children. My then-boyfriend, now-husband, thought differently. He thought two would be just fine for our family, but wasn’t entirely against the idea of three. As we had our first child, we adjusted. Anyone who’s had a baby knows exactly how much your life completely turns upside down.

Our family of two became three. We went through the motions of nurturing, caring for, and learning all about our baby girl. As is quite typical within extended family, almost immediately after she was born, we were being asked if we wanted a second child. Our sleep-deprived, defunct brains couldn’t fathom another child. At the time, we were pretty sure our baby girl was going to be an only child.

Through the next few years, my husband and I went back and forth on the issue of having more children. Some months we missed having a young infant in the house and thought we’d eventually have another. Other months – especially those months our daughter was particularly going through a rough phase – we were sure we didn’t want any more. When our daughter hit the tantrum phase, we were pretty much ready to run to the doctor for reproductive surgery to ensure we didn’t have more children. Dealing with tantrums is always rough in parenting. Luckily, though, tantrums don’t last forever.

Once our baby girl got past tantrums and began to act like a human again, we began to have feelings of wanting another baby. It took us a while, but we eventually decided to go for it and try for a second child. Baby girl was four when we got pregnant and turned five when her baby brother was born.

Our family of three is now a family of four. And, we can’t imagine it any other way. It’s hard to think of the days when our baby boy was not around; it seems like he’s always been a part of our family. Of course, we’ve had adjustments, again, to raising two children versus just one child. Honestly, though, it hasn’t been too rough thus far.

My biggest surprise in having two children? How incredibly big their love for each other is! That little boy searches for his sister when she’s at school, is thrilled to see her, and is sad to see her go. In turn, rarely a minute goes by when she’s not talking to, playing with, or harassing her little bro. They were truly made for each other.

If you have more than one child, what has been the biggest surprise for you in parenting siblings?

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Disney Baby. I’ll be joining the Disney Baby blogging team next month, and look forward to sharing these kinds of stories with you over there! Stay tuned for more details!

Photo: Jim Hammer

When I was young, my mom used the phrase “This hurts me more than it hurts you,” more than once. I could never wrap my brain around that statement and remember wondering how it could possibly be true because I was feeling actual pain! Mind you, I was rarely hit, but the very few times I was disciplined, it crossed my mind.

As adults, my brothers and I have mentioned this to our mom, in a laughing and non-complaining manner. We’ve done so in those conversations where we all get together and reminisce about our childhoods. I remember the first time we mentioned this particular statement to her, she reacted by apologizing and saying that sometimes you just don’t realize what you say as a parent.

These types of memories from my own childhood and conversations with my mom led me to say that I would never utter similar words to my children when I became a mother myself. Think that worked out well? Here are seven phrases I never imagined I’d say as a mom, but that unfortunately, I’ve had the displeasure of saying.

7 Things I Never Thought I’d Say as a Mother

1. Stop licking your toes!
2. Also, don’t lick your brother’s toes!
3. Because I said so…
4. I don’t care, just do it!
5. When I was your age…
6. I swear…you kids are going to kill me!
7. Seriously? SERIOUSLY??!!!

As a parent, have you found yourself saying things you never thought you would? Please share them in the comments below! I’d love to hear them!

Photo: Paula Rey/Flickr

These days, I’m barely able to find a little quiet time for myself. Even with these 7 ways to squeeze in ‘me time’, I don’t always feel like I can make it happen. As the majority of you know, there’s a lot that goes into raising two kids, owning a business, and juggling all the roles a woman plays. If we don’t make ourselves a priority and take time for ourselves, it’s just not going to happen. We have to make it happen, right? This is me making it happen for two of you! Read on for some cool tips and a fun giveaway to help you get some ‘me time’ in your week.

I figured the best people to ask for tips for getting some ‘me time’ would be other moms and business owners. After all, who wants advice from someone not walking the walk? These ladies live a full life, just as you and I do, and have shared their ideas, tips, and tricks for adding some ‘me time’ to their lives.

Tips from Real Moms on Taking Time for Yourself

“I like to do shopping, or window shopping, run or do yoga, read a good book, or watch comedy or reality TV–preferably with a glass of wine,” shared Kelly of The Centsible Life, who also lists 10 ways to get some ‘me’ time while updating your look or wardrobe on her own site.

“Sometimes I just have to lock myself in the bathroom,” says Megan of SweetSadieMarie.com. Monica of Mommy Maestra shared Megan’s sentiments saying she too locks the bathroom door!

Julie at Julieverse.com stresses that ‘me time’ is a total necessity in mommying, and also says her favorite ways to get ‘me time’ include, “gym time, mani/pedis, quiet time at a coffee shop, shopping.”

“I send my kids and husband to the park,” is Silvia’s trick for getting ‘me time’. Silvia writes at Mamá Latina Tips.

Jessica of Found the Marbles had this to say: “Because I have worked from home for the past six years I need to get out of my house to truly decompress, whether that means having dinner or drinks with girlfriends or getting out on a Saturday night with my husband.” Jessica also shared The Art of Decompressing with readers on her site.

“I leave the house with my laptop and iPad citing that I’m off to the grocery store. Then I spend hours at my local coffee house enjoying a day of caffeine and writing,” said Sara, Founder and Editor at www.mommafindings.com

Nadia of JusticeJonesie.com told us: “For me time, I pick one of my two Cs. Cocktails with friends or a coffee at a coffee house somewhere.”

“I squeeze me time after work or head on over to the coffee shop for FREE wifi on weekends. I love me time. I need more of it,” was the tip provided by Eva of Tech.Food.Life.

As you can see, everyone has their own way of getting some ‘me time’ and taking some time to relax. Hopefully, you’ve learned some new tricks you didn’t already know! To help you out even more, two of you will win a fun ‘me time’ kit to put these tips to use and have some time for yourself!

We’ve partnered with CVS/pharmacy to provide the following essentials for a little self-pampering, all of which you can find at your local CVS store or online:

• Essence of Beauty Ultra Soft Spa Set
• Essence of Beauty Faux Sea Sponge
• Nuance Salma Hayek Shampoo and Conditioner
• Nuance Salma Hayek Eye Quad
• Designer Fragrance
• Sally Hansen Nail Polish
• Godiva Chocolates

‘Me Time’ Essentials Giveaway

We want you to have some ‘me time’ and take care of yourself, so we’re giving two of you this kit full of ‘me time’ essentials! Consider it an early Mother’s Day gift for yourself or give it away to your own mom or special lady in your life!

How to Enter

Required entry: If you’d like to enter this giveaway for a ‘me time’ kit, simply leave a comment below sharing your favorite way to make time for yourself.

Extra entries (optional):
Each of the following will count as 1 extra entry. You’ll need to leave a separate comment for each entry.

1. Follow @modernmami on Twitter.
2. Tweet the following (1 time only): Need some ‘me time’? Who doesn’t?! Enter to win a ‘me time’ pampering kit from @modernmami! http://bit.ly/metimeideas #giveaway #balance
3. Receive post updates by subscribing to our RSS feed. You can do so either via email or through a RSS reader. Leave a comment saying you did so or are already a subscriber.
4. Write a blog post on your own blog sharing the details of this giveaway. Be sure to include a link back to this post. Leave a comment with your post link.

All entries must be in by Sunday, May 6, 2012 at 11:59 pm EST. You must be 18 or older and a U.S. resident. No purchase necessary. Remember to leave a separate comment for each entry. The winners will be chosen using Random.org and will be notified via email. (Please be sure to provide a valid email address with your entry.) Winners will have 48 hours to respond and claim prize, otherwise a new winner will be chosen.

Disclosure: I received the same ‘me time’ kit from CVS/pharmacy in order to facilitate this giveaway. No compensation received.

Top photo: D. Sharon Pruitt

Last year I had the opportunity to host a Kellogg’s Love Your Cereal breakfast with friends and family. We learned more about Kellogg’s cereals and had a chance to ask questions directly from a Kellogg’s representative. This year, I’ve once again partnered with Kellogg’s and was part of the Ama Tu Cereal (Love Your Cereal) team they sponsored to the Blogalicious 2011 conference. I’m happy to partner with Kellogg’s again, as they’re a company that has been a part of my life since I can remember.

In Puerto Rico, and throughout much of the Caribbean and Latin America, we have a bad habit of calling things by the most popular name brand that makes it. So, for example, all pain killers are Tylenol, regardless of the actual brand. Likewise, for much of my childhood I heard my mami saying, “Quieres con fleik?” which translates to “Do you want some corn flakes?” It didn’t matter that she might have been talking about Frosted Flakes instead. Another way we referenced Frosted Flakes in our house was to simply call it “El Tigre” (The Tiger), due to Tony the Tiger of course! To this day, Frosted Flakes is still my brother’s favorite cereal and it’s probably my husband’s too.

As part of my work with the Kellogg’s Ama Tu Cereal team at Blogalicious, I helped provide information on how Latina moms responded to Kellogg’s Breakfast in America survey. The survey found that 9 out of 10 Latina moms want their kids to eat breakfast every day, but unfortunately, 40% said their kids did not. However, almost 40% did say they ensure their children have breakfast daily. Additionally, Latina moms are 20% more likely than moms overall to get up early to prepare their children’s breakfast. And, it was found that Latina moms are 17% more likely than moms overall to say their family brings breakfast to work or school.

I know that it gets hectic in the morning as the entire household works to get ready for school and work. I admit that my husband and I are not good about eating breakfast and most days skip it. However, we make sure baby girl eats breakfast every day. It’s not always fancy, and sometimes it is a bowl of cereal, but she always eats something in the morning.

What are some favorite breakfast foods for your family?

Disclosure: Kellogg’s was a sponsor for the Blogalicious 2011 conference and I was compensated for my work.

Cereal photo: Mike Johnson – TheBusyBrain.com

When I was in my early 20s, I put it in my mind that I wanted to have a job that would allow me to be available and at home with my future child. That is the reason I chose real estate as my career. Fast forward fifteen years later, I found myself as a single mom when my only son was two years old. Obviously, being divorced was not part of my vision, but the career choice helped me to focus on my main intent which also included being able to pick up my son at school every day.

Little did I know how difficult it would be to balance my life at home with my work when real estate sales meant you are on call at any time of the day including weekends. Luckily, whenever I found myself stressed, I remembered my goal of being with my son whenever I wanted to. That one priority is what helped me to stay grounded and in the flow of enjoying an immeasurable amount of moments that I constantly cherish in my heart.

As the years went by, I was offered opportunities to work in large commercial firms which I know would have led me to more money. Life is constantly presenting us with choices. I sometimes wish I would have made more money at certain points in my life because I would have been more prepared when the economy changed.

Today’s economic environment brings additional challenges to many families who have to reinvent themselves to stay afloat due to job loss. It causes much more stress and uncertainty. I know, because I have had to live this as the sole provider of my household in a field that was first hit in the economy.

That is why it is imperative in these days to stay focused on your own well being so that your children feel secure. I sincerely believe that security from within will eventually lead you to better opportunities. There is a delicate balancing act when faced with anxiety and I can’t say I have all the answers because there were many times when I was ready to pull my hair out.

But then I remembered my focus: enjoying time with my son, laughing with him, instilling values of self worth and strength of character. And you know what? We survived and am proud to say that he is a confident young seventeen year old man ready to take on college this year, spread his wings and look forward to his future.

I have absolutely no regrets of my choice to make nurturing and love a priority because I feel fulfilled in my role as a mother. In hindsight, all the other roles I had to juggle were secondary. The abundant time I spent with him was priceless and more valuable than having a million dollars in my bank account.

So now that I am about to become an empty nester, my greatest pearl of wisdom is to get out of the house when you are ready to go ARGHHHH, stick the kids in the car and go enjoy a moment in the park and always communicate positive affirmations with them. You might be surprised one day, when they replay all those good thoughts back to you when you least expect it, and they end up uplifting YOU. When this happened to me, I guarantee you, I had the biggest smile ever!

Photo courtesy of Blanca Stella

My mami is a great mother. She raised three children, along with my father, during a time when there wasn’t as much “help” as there is these days. That is, she never read a parenting book or sought the advice of parenting experts. I’m sure her and her friends shared complaints and some advice with each other, but this probably came in a very informal manner while they had their café y pan.

On top of the generation’s ideals, my mami also started being a mom at a very young age. She basically had to learn it all herself; being a wife, mom, and becoming a woman are all things she learned on the fly. In retrospect, I see now that she essentially lived her life for us. My two brothers and I were her life. Sure, she held some jobs at various points, but never was it a career. She had friends, but that I can remember, they never took the time to have what we now call a girl’s night out. She also didn’t have hobbies.

Fast forward 30 years later, and my mami is now “retired” – from being a mom and from working. Of course, moms are moms until the end. But, all three of her children are married, out of the house, and have children of their own. She provides an entirely different mami role these days. This is the time when she should be enjoying her free life, taking part in various activities, hobbies, and get-togethers. Right? However, because she spent the bulk of her life living for us, I’ve noticed she finds herself in a special place as a woman.

Two reasons, actually, contribute to my mother’s current situation: she’s the caretaker for my father who has dementia, and she didn’t allow herself to be anything but a mom when raising us. In defining herself only as a mom without paying attention to herself, as a woman first, she’s now in the position of not really knowing what to do with herself. Of course, this is my opinion from observing her, but I often see it reflected in her actions and conversations.

It’s a situation I hope never to find myself in. I think I’m on the right track so far. I work full-time, have my own business, travel, and try hard to balance my roles as a mom, wife, and woman. It’s not always easy, as many women will attest. But, after seeing my own mom’s struggles, I believe it’s important. I don’t want to have to depend on being needed by others (my children) in order to be happy. I plan to be happy with my life, my husband, and myself, regardless of where life takes my children.

Because of that, I am content in showing my daughter (and soon my son) that I have my own time where I may do things without her. She sees me working and knows why it’s important. She understands when I need to travel by myself and knows that it’s for work. As she’s said to me when leaving for a conference, “You’re going to go learn with your blogger friends.” Yes, baby girl. I am. And, then I’ll return home and continue to show you how great it is to be a woman with many interests and passions – all while still being a great mom, just like your abuela.

Do you find it difficult to define your role as a woman now that you’re a mom?

Plenty of people find it difficult to get some time alone. We’re all busy with work, our home life, family, activities, and just life in general. It can be hard to find some time for yourself. But, more and more, I see that women and moms in particular, complain the most about getting some time for themselves – some ‘me’ time.

It seems that men either don’t require ‘me’ time as much as women do or they just don’t admit it. At any rate, it makes sense that parents are often the ones asking how they can get a little time alone and away from the everyday.

I thought about some of the ways that I manage to keep my sanity and balance out my life a little bit. Ok, well, maybe not my life, but my head at least.

7 Tips for Finding ‘Me’ Time

1. Take a break to goof around on the Internet. Whether it be a quick tour of your favorite social media networks or visiting your preferred blogs to read or just simply doing a bit of online shopping, you will be amazed how a few minutes online can easily give your brain a much needed break from reality.
2. Pretend you have to use the bathroom. I know this sounds crazy. Believe me, I do. However, when you’ve got too much going on and it seems like it’ll be a while before you can break from it, this may be a temporary solution. Just lock the bathroom door and give yourself 10 minutes of quiet. If you have a magazine rack in your bathroom or leave a book in there, you can even catch up on some of that reading you’ve been meaning to do. And sweetie…if you’re reading this…I never do this. Ever.
3. Take a shower. Or bath. Make it a LONG one. Don’t rush your shower. Take a few extra minutes to just let the warm water hit your back. Or spend a bit more time working the shampoo into your hair. If you can take a nice relaxing bubble bath, then even better!
4. Enforce bedtime. Make sure that your kids stick to their bedtime. I can’t tell you how much I love the 2-3 hours each night after my baby girl goes to sleep. Most of the time, I end up spending this time either working or watching some TV with my husband, but there’s times that I get those hours all to myself if I plan in advance.
5. Meditate. Pray. Reflect. Whatever you call it and however you do it, taking some time to think about things can do wonders for clearing your head of all the noise. You can easily do this while driving, cooking, or cleaning.
6. Exercise. Go for a 20 minute walk. Do a quick yoga routine. Or dance along to some music.
7. Go grocery shopping. It’s something that needs to be done anyway, isn’t it? Leave everyone else at home and go by yourself. You may even get the shopping done faster than normal (but not TOO fast, ok?).

These tips may not be glamorous. They may not include a night out on the town with your girls. But, they’re realistic and can offer some simple yet effective ways for you to feel like you’re getting a little ‘me’ time in for yourself. Also? I hope it’s obvious that if you have kids, you’ll clearly need to have someone supervising them when you’re getting your ‘me’ time. Especially if you’re locking yourself in the bathroom.

How do you find some time for yourself? What do you normally do with your ‘me’ time?

I’ve come across quite a few blog posts the past few days. I always seem to be sharing interesting articles with various people I think will like them, so I figured I’d share with everyone this time.

Here are some posts I’ve either bookmarked or stumbled this week. For more, take a look at my StumbleUpon or Delicious pages.

Social Media

How to Create a FaceBook Landing Page for Your Blog

5 Ways I’m Using Facebook to Drive Traffic, Build Brand and Increase Reader Engagement

10 Beautiful Social Media Infographics

Blogging

A Complete Guide to Finding and Using Incredible Flickr Images

Comment on other blogs!

The Number One Way to Flip Your Blog into a Business

Personal

Our Pre-Motherhood Self

Retroacculturation. Retroacculturated. That’s me. Is it You?

I’m still not White, but am I American Indian?

What posts did you come across this week that you think I should read? It’s ok if it’s your own.

By the way, if you’re Latina and a blogger, please complete this survey. We will be presenting some of the results during our BlogHer Latinas in Social Media panel and of course, the survey report will have a much larger impact as it will help many learn about the Latina blogging community.

Whether you’re a happy homemaker or you work at an outside job, chances are good that integrating fun and educational activities into your child’s day has become something of a thorn in your side. There’s no shame in admitting that it’s difficult to constantly invent new and exciting ways to entertain your kids. After all, they have a lot more stamina than you and it sometimes seems like “why” is the only word they know. But they are like little sponges sucking up information and you want to encourage them to pursue as much knowledge as possible while they’re primed for learning. So here are a few tricks to keep you going when it seems like you’ve exhausted every idea.

1. Try activities outside the house. For example, museums and zoos are a great place for kids to experience a new environment, and it can be a nice break for you. Let someone else do the teaching. Petting zoos offer interaction for your child while a natural history museum can spark their interest in dinosaurs, insects, or things that go bump in the night (overnight adventures!). And almost all types of museums offer activities for kids. You can also look into activities and outings offered at a local community center. A hike or picnic with other moms could help your children acclimate to other kids (as well as offer you a chance at some adult conversation). And guided hikes specifically catering to kids will often include education on indigenous animals and local flora and fauna.
2. Look for early learning classes. In addition to mommy and me type classes you may want to check out the YMCA or local community center for lessons in music and art, or physical activities like karate and swimming for all ages. Even at a young age, your child can begin to learn skills that will stay with them for the rest of their lives. And maybe you can squeeze in a little nap!
3. Check out the Internet. If arts and crafts is your thing, but your kids refuse to make one more macaroni painting, look for some other options online. There are a multitude of websites dedicated to activities that will work on both your child’s motor skills and expand their creativity. And most of them are easy enough even for parents who claim to lack a creative bone in their body.

Like many aspects of parenting, there is absolutely no reason you have to do it on your own. We all want to be super-mom, but who needs that kind of pressure? Don’t hesitate to take a helping hand. While you benefit from a much-needed break, your kids will enjoy avenues of learning that you may not have been able to provide on your own, and really, a well-rounded education is worth the effort.

It seems like everyday I hear a woman talking about struggling to balance her life. You know that I am a believer of trying to find balance, at least whatever balance means to you. But, it’s a reality that something always gives.

Some days your work may suffer, other days perhaps your me-time suffers, and I’m sure a lot of days, it’s the house that suffers. That’s why we try to come up with a cleaning schedule and attempt to clean while working from home. It’s all in an effort to juggle our many roles and get a handle on our super mom expectations.

And, believe me, I know all about those expectations. I expect that I should be able to take care of my daughter, my house, and my husband. Taking care of myself was not something I was taught early on – it wasn’t until I was older that this became of importance. As I’ve mentioned before, I grew up hearing things like, “You have to learn how to cook and clean, because when you get older and get married, you’ll need to take care of your house, husband, and children.”

Now, I try very hard not to say things like that to my daughter. I don’t want her to learn how to cook and clean so that she can take care of others. I want her to learn so she can take care of herself. Instead I tell her: “We have to clean the house because we don’t want to live in a dirty house, do we? We want to take care of our things and be proud of where we live.” Pride. Orgullo.

In a way, that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Outside of cleaning because we need our space to be clean for sanitary reasons, we also clean because we want to be proud of our space. Doesn’t it make you feel so much better when you look around your house and see it’s clean and in order? The days there’s a lot of clutter around, it’s almost like my brain feels cluttered right along with it. The minute it’s clean again, I feel a sense of calm.

I think pride plays a big role in how we take care of our house. At least, I find this is true for myself and many other women I know. Somos orgullosas de nuestros hogares. We are proud of our homes.

Do you find that pride plays a role in your home? Share with me any cleaning-related stories – either from your own childhood or from your adult life.

***Want to teach your kids to help clean? Check out this list of chores for preschoolers.

This post is an entry into the Mi Hogar Mi Orgullo contest.