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	<title>modernmami™ &#187; misbehavior</title>
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	<description>Parenting and Work-Life Balance Stories from a Working Mother and Business Owner</description>
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		<title>Time Outs Don&#8217;t Work Anymore? Try This Alternative.</title>
		<link>http://www.modernmami.com/parenting/time-out-alternative-behavior-chart/</link>
		<comments>http://www.modernmami.com/parenting/time-out-alternative-behavior-chart/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 26 Jul 2010 15:26:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Melanie Edwards</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[preschoolers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[toddlers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[behavior board]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[behavior chart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discipline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[four year old]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[good behavior]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[misbehavior]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[naughty behavior]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positive reinforcement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[preschooler]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[punishment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[redirecting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tantrums]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[time out]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[time outs don't work]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[time-out alternative]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[toddler]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[visual behavior chart]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.modernmami.com/?p=2821</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This post was first published on November 12, 2009. There are many forms of discipline and punishment that parents use with their children. In our house, we&#8217;ve used the time out method, the just talking method, the redirecting method, and we&#8217;ve even yelled at times out of losing our patience. Hey, it happens, right? But, [...]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jpcolasso/445514358/"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2826" title="Sad Kid" src="http://www.modernmami.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/445514358_44619adae5.jpg" alt="Sad Kid" width="490" height="376" /></a></p>
<div style="border: 1px solid #DCDFE0; padding: 10px; margin-bottom: 1em; background-color: #f5f0f1;"><em>This post was first published on November 12, 2009.<br />
</em></div>
<p>There are many forms of <strong>discipline </strong>and <strong>punishment </strong>that parents use with their children. In our house, we&#8217;ve used the <strong>time out method</strong>, the just talking method, the <strong>redirecting method</strong>, and we&#8217;ve even yelled at times out of losing our patience. Hey, it happens, right?</p>
<p>But, lately, we&#8217;ve come up with a new system for helping our nearly-<strong>four year old daughter</strong> behave better. Ok, &#8220;we&#8221; as in the husband came up with the idea and I take half the credit since I use the method. What&#8217;s his is mine, isn&#8217;t it?</p>
<p>We recently turned our guest room into a play room since we don&#8217;t often have guests. (Because she needed just <em>one more</em> space in the house to clutter up.) The reality is that we all wanted a <strong>family fun room</strong> and wanted her room to be more of a tranquil space for relaxation and rest. So, we now have a play room and because she helped remodel the space, she has taken full ownership of that room. It is &#8211; quite frankly &#8211; <em>her </em>play room.</p>
<p>Because of that, it has also become the one true thing that she hates to not have. Therefore, we have the following hanging up on the door to that room.</p>
<p><span id="more-2821"></span></p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1454" title="Behavior Board Chart for Preschooler" src="http://www.modernmami.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/behavior-board-preschooler.jpeg" alt="Behavior Board Chart for Preschooler" width="478" height="247" /></p>
<p>What you see is a dry-erase board with sad faces on it. Normally, there are 3 happy faces on there. It&#8217;s sort of like a <strong>behavior chart</strong>.</p>
<h3>How it works:</h3>
<ol>
<li>If baby girl does something <strong>naughty </strong>or doesn&#8217;t listen, we give a warning. If she still doesn&#8217;t listen, she gets a sad face.</li>
<li>After 3 sad faces, we close the door to her playroom.</li>
<li>She must earn back her 3 happy faces with <strong>good behavior</strong>. We try to make the acts equal; that is, if she lost a happy face because of whining, we&#8217;re not expecting she clean up her room to earn it back. A smaller act that is comparable will do. On the other hand, if she lost a happy face because she threw a <a title="tantrums" href="http://www.modernmami.com/tag/tantrums/"><strong>tantrum</strong></a> or disrespected us, then the act to earn it back must be equally as big.</li>
<li>Once she earns her 3 happy faces back, she gains access to the playroom again.</li>
<li>And the cycle continues.</li>
</ol>
<h3>Why this works:</h3>
<ul>
<li>She is seeing a visual of her mistakes as well as her achievements.</li>
<li>My girl needs more than just stickers as an incentive.</li>
<li>The playroom is a place of her own that she enjoys so it&#8217;s a true punishment for it to be taken away versus just being scolded or sitting in time out.</li>
</ul>
<p>Of course, explanations, warnings, and the &#8220;after-talk&#8221; is all a part of this to help her understand what happened, why it happened, and how she should act next time.</p>
<p>We&#8217;ve really seen it work over the last few months. She even goes through periods of weeks at a time without losing a happy face.</p>
<p><em>What methods do you use for <strong>disciplining your <a title="preschoolers help and tips" href="http://www.modernmami.com/category/preschoolers/">preschooler</a></strong> or <a title="toddlers - tips and ideas" href="http://www.modernmami.com/category/toddlers"><strong>toddler</strong></a>?</em></p>
<div style="font-size: 10px;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jpcolasso/445514358/">[top photo source]</a></div>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>47</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>When Time Outs No Longer Work</title>
		<link>http://www.modernmami.com/toddlers/preschooler-behavior-discipline/</link>
		<comments>http://www.modernmami.com/toddlers/preschooler-behavior-discipline/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:04:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Melanie Edwards</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[preschoolers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[toddlers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[behavior chart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[daughters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discipline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[misbehavior]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[punishment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[time outs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.modernmami.com/?p=1444</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Photo credit: sean_alexander There are many forms of discipline and punishment that parents use with their children. In our house, we&#8217;ve used the time out method, the just talking method, the redirecting method, and we&#8217;ve even yelled at times out of losing our patience. Hey, it happens, right? But, lately, we&#8217;ve come up with a [...]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/seanalex/131596337/"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1446" title="Time Out Chair" src="http://www.modernmami.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/131596337_7dc663e9ab.jpg" alt="Time Out Chair" width="500" height="334" /></a>Photo credit: <a title="sean_alexander's photostream" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/seanalex/">sean_alexander</a></p>
<p>There are many forms of <strong>discipline </strong>and <strong>punishment </strong>that parents use with their children. In our house, we&#8217;ve used the <strong>time out method</strong>, the just talking method, the <strong>redirecting method</strong>, and we&#8217;ve even yelled at times out of losing our patience. Hey, it happens, right?</p>
<p>But, lately, we&#8217;ve come up with a new system for helping our nearly-<strong>four year old daughter</strong> behave better. Ok, &#8220;we&#8221; as in the husband came up with the idea and I take half the credit since I use the method. What&#8217;s his is mine, isn&#8217;t it?</p>
<p>We recently turned our guest room into a play room since we don&#8217;t often have guests. (Because she needed just <em>one more</em> space in the house to clutter up.) The reality is that we all wanted a family &#8220;fun&#8221; room and wanted her room to be more of a tranquil space for relaxation and rest. So, we now have a play room and because she helped remodel the space, she has taken full ownership of that room. It is &#8211; quite frankly &#8211; <em>her </em>play room.</p>
<p>Because of that, it has also become the one true thing that she hates to not have. Therefore, we have the following hanging up on the door to that room.</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1454" title="Behavior Board Chart for Preschooler" src="http://www.modernmami.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/behavior-board-preschooler.jpeg" alt="Behavior Board Chart for Preschooler" width="478" height="247" /></p>
<p>What you see is a dry-erase board with sad faces on it. Normally, there are 3 happy faces on there. It&#8217;s sort of like a <strong>behavior chart</strong>.</p>
<h3>How it works:</h3>
<ol>
<li>If baby girl does something <strong>naughty </strong>or doesn&#8217;t listen, we give a warning. If she still doesn&#8217;t listen, she gets a sad face.</li>
<li>After 3 sad faces, we close the door to her playroom.</li>
<li>She must earn back her 3 happy faces with <strong>good behavior</strong>. We try to make the acts equal; that is, if she lost a happy face because of whining, we&#8217;re not expecting she clean up her room to earn it back. A smaller act that is comparable will do. On the other hand, if she lost a happy face because she threw a <a title="tantrums" href="http://www.modernmami.com/tag/tantrums/"><strong>tantrum</strong></a> or disrespected us, then the act to earn it back must be equally as big.</li>
<li>Once she earns her 3 happy faces back, she gains access to the playroom again.</li>
<li>And the cycle continues.</li>
</ol>
<h3>Why this works:</h3>
<ul>
<li>She is seeing a visual of her mistakes as well as her achievements.</li>
<li>My girl needs more than just stickers as an incentive.</li>
<li>The playroom is a place of her own that she enjoys so it&#8217;s a true punishment for it to be taken away versus just being scolded or sitting in time out.</li>
</ul>
<p>Of course, explanations, warnings, and the &#8220;after-talk&#8221; is all a part of this to help her understand what happened, why it happened, and how she should act next time.</p>
<p>We&#8217;ve really seen it work over the last few months. She even goes through periods of weeks at a time without losing a happy face.</p>
<p>What methods do you use for <strong>disciplining your <a title="preschoolers help and tips" href="http://www.modernmami.com/category/preschoolers/">preschooler</a></strong> or <a title="toddlers - tips and ideas" href="http://www.modernmami.com/category/toddlers"><strong>toddler</strong></a>?</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Defiant at 2</title>
		<link>http://www.modernmami.com/parenting/motherhood/toddler-defiance/</link>
		<comments>http://www.modernmami.com/parenting/motherhood/toddler-defiance/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 05 Oct 2008 17:07:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Melanie Edwards</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Baby Girl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Motherhood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[toddlers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[misbehavior]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[time outs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://modernmami.theparentblog.com/?p=346</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The other day I had a day off from work while my parents attended some medical appointments. It was a pretty good day off with baby girl. We did a little shopping, had lunch, made silly faces in the car&#8230;you know, typical day out with a toddler. While out shopping, we bought the Munchkin Turtle [...]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p>The other day I had a day off from work while my parents attended some medical appointments. It was a pretty good day off with baby girl. We did a little shopping, had lunch, made silly faces in the car&#8230;you know, typical day out with a <strong>toddler</strong>.</p>
<p>While out shopping, we bought the <strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&#038;location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FMunchkin-Bath-Super-Scooper-Turtle%2Fdp%2FB000SETLHQ%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbaby-products%26qid%3D1223221534%26sr%3D8-1&#038;tag=commthepcom-20&#038;linkCode=ur2&#038;camp=1789&#038;creative=9325">Munchkin Turtle Bath Toy Scooper</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=commthepcom-20&amp;l=ur2&amp;o=1" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" /></strong>. Of course, she immediately wanted to take a bath so she could play with her new turtle. I told her we couldn&#8217;t open it until we got home.</p>
<p>Once we got home, I opened it for her and she started to slide the turtle around our floor pretending it was a boat. She then took it into our bathroom and what I heard next was the sound of what could have been her falling but turned out to be the turtle falling into the empty tub.</p>
<p>So, I closed the bathroom door and told her &#8220;Don&#8217;t go in the bathroom by yourself. If you do it again, you&#8217;re going into timeout.&#8221;</p>
<p>Five minutes later&#8230;guess who was in the bathroom again?</p>
<p>Yup, a little short monkey girl came waddling out of my room and down the hallway as I was making my way towards her.</p>
<blockquote><p><em>Were you in the bathroom?</em></p>
<p><em>Yes</em></p>
<p><em>What did I say?</em></p>
<p><em>Not go in bathroom by myself.</em></p>
<p><em>Ok, timeout it is.</em></p></blockquote>
<p>Cue some crying&#8230;.</p>
<p>At least I can take comfort in the fact that she didn&#8217;t lie about it.</p>
<p><em>At least</em>.</p>
<p>Right?</p>
<p><img class="size-medium wp-image-351" title="Time out" src="http://modernmami.theparentblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/2273473006_5425d1bb39_o1-199x300.jpg" alt="Time out" width="199" height="300" /><br />
<span style="font-size: 8px">Photo by <a href="http://flickr.com/photos/redvelvettears/">redvelvettears</a></span></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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