modernmami™ » life is a special occasion

Holiday Traditions New and Old

Melanie Edwards — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 00:23:08 +0000

Growing up, Christmas was always a fun time for me. I have great memories of Navidad in Puerto Rico, especially. I remember the vibrant music, fun spirit everyone seemed to be in, and the food. Oh, the food! The traditional Puerto Rican Nochebuena (Christmas Eve) dinner is one that I still love to this day.

In fact, one of the things I most remember is making pasteles during the weeks leading up to Christmas. Pasteles are a Puerto Rican dish made with green bananas and filled with pork, potatoes, and a few other ingredients that everyone customizes to their liking. They are typically served as part of the Nochebuena dinner and take all day to make. Because of that, my parents would set aside an entire weekend for making pasteles and each member of our family had their own task in the process. From peeling and grating the bananas, to cooking the filling, and finally assembling and tying the pasteles, each person’s task was instrumental.

I remember my father would put the radio on and we’d listen to traditional aguinaldos (Puerto Rican Christmas folk music) as we cooked and made pasteles. I grew to love this accidental tradition and looked forward to it each year. As I got older, I began to ask what day was going to be pasteles day so I could be sure to know ahead of time.

As I look at my own family now, I’m not sure that we’ve yet created a holiday tradition of our own. We put up a Christmas tree and other Christmas decorations. We wait until Christmas Eve to put the gifts under the tree and open them up bright and early on Christmas morning before even eating breakfast. But, I feel we have yet to find our way in traditions – formal ones anyway.

Photo © modernmami

One thing we do have is that we have a couple of Christmas countdown “calendars” that our baby girl enjoys updating each day to count down the days until Christmas. This year a new one has been added to our decorations that is super fun. Thanks to Hallmark, we now have a Christmas countdown radio ornament, their North Pole Countdown Keepsake Ornament, which provides special messages each day from the North Pole. My girl is definitely enjoying the fun messages each day from NOLE 1225 (the radio station’s name)!

Something else that has happened just about every year and that has jokingly become a tradition between my husband and I, is that we end up wrapping our children’s gifts late at night on Christmas Eve. For some reason, this always gets left until the last minute and we somehow find ourselves staying up late on Christmas Eve wrapping their gifts. It’s kind of become our own tradition, I suppose.

What holiday traditions do you remember from your childhood? What new traditions do you celebrate with your family?

Disclosure: This story is sponsored by Hallmark through their Life is a Special Occasion campaign. As always, all stories and opinions are my own. To receive special offers and discounts from Hallmark, sign up for their e-newsletter!

Keeping it Together During the Holidays, With Humor

Melanie Edwards — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 17:55:23 +0000

The months of November and December are a very hectic season for our family. I realize this is true for the majority of families since the holidays are always a busy time, but our family also has a couple of extra celebrations. You see, both of my children and my husband all have birthdays in December – in a span of three days – the week before Christmas. To say that the holiday season, particularly December, presents scheduling issues for our family is an understatement.

First, we have to get through November and Thanksgiving. Our November calendar typically fills up with various blogging events, as there are many holiday happenings the local theme parks and attractions want to share with families. It’s super fun, but means every weekend has something going on. We definitely have to choose wisely, since it can become overwhelming.

Then December comes and it seems like it goes by in a flash. We usually have a birthday party for the kids (luckily I can still combine both birthdays into one party), so we spend quite a bit of time planning and preparing for the party. There’s also Christmas shopping to do, along with every day life and obligations (school, work, housework, etc.). We pretty much spend the first three weeks of December running around. But, we do it together.

That’s the thing about this hectic holiday season. Even though we have a lot going on, we’re together. We attend events as a family, we plan, shop, and prepare for the birthday party together, and even do some Christmas shopping together. All that time – even the time in the car and in stores – is time for us to talk, laugh, reminisce and just hang out. Sure, there are moments of frustration or impatience, but overall, we have fun. There’s just no other way for us to get through it. Humor is a part of who we are as a family, so naturally, laughter is how we keep it together. I’m just lucky to have a family that keeps me laughing and that laughs along with me.

How do you keep the humor going during the hectic holiday season?

Photo © modernmami

Practice Makes Better…Not Perfect

Melanie Edwards — Sat, 13 Oct 2012 14:23:13 +0000

“Practice makes perfect.“

We all know the saying. We heard it growing up and we’ve probably said it to our own children. The intention is good: don’t give up and keep practicing, you’ll eventually get it or be better. But, are we inadvertently sending our kids a message that perfection is desired?

My baby girl has recently been having a hard time coming to terms with mistakes she makes. She wants so badly to do things the right way (on the first try ideally) that she gets frustrated if a mistake is made or she doesn’t quite get it on that first try. We’re working on it and she’s slowly, but surely coming to terms with the fact that no one is perfect or born knowing everything.

It’s hard teaching a child to not be perfect. It’s hard explaining that it really is ok to make mistakes and that it can even be a good thing at times. We’ve talked and talked about how many mistakes her father and I have made in the past. We’ve shown her examples in history of mistakes leading to greater things and inventions. We even model and point out when we currently make mistakes and show her what we do to try to fix them. Yet, she still holds on to a bit of the idea that she would like for it to be perfect. Sometimes, it seems it even stops her from trying, for fear of “failing” in her mind.

I suppose when you’re six years old, it’s difficult to balance the desire to do your best and simultaneously accept the fact that your best may not be perfect. It’s a process, learning not to be perfect. A process that requires us to put our own flaws out on display in order to show her that even those she looks to for answers are nowhere near perfect.

These days, instead of saying, “practice makes perfect,” we say, “practice makes better.” It’s our new mantra.

How do you help your kids overcome the fear of failure and accept that mistakes are ok, or even good?

Image © ModernMami.com

Observing Changes I Cannot Change

Melanie Edwards — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 03:30:50 +0000

“Change is good,” I recently told my six-year-old. “It often means you’re progressing and moving forward.” These days I am finding the need to remind myself of this as I watch my sweet baby girl become less baby and more girl. The change is there, staring me straight in the face and taunting my motherly need to keep her a baby.

It’s odd to have your own words playing back to you, reminding you that her growing up and becoming a little girl as opposed to a preschooler is indeed, a good thing. It means she’s growing as she should, developmentally and physically. It means life is progressing and we have much to be thankful for – a healthy daughter and days full of life.

Still…she’s my baby girl and will always be my baby, no matter how much taller than me she gets. I imagine this is somewhat how my own mami felt as I got older. Of course, it’s only now that I understand.

I sit and watch my daughter and can see how her body is physically changing to prepare for what’s to come in a few years. I see how her personality is solidifying and her beliefs forming. I see the change, little by little, and wonder what change will come next.

Her questions and curiosity show signs of her interests: a little bit of science, math, and the arts. It’s a little scary how close to a perfect mix this is of my husband and I. Will that too change one day? Will she eventually lose her ability to see the small things? Just how much of her will change?

In science, it is said that by merely observing an object, you alter the results of your experiment. I sometimes wonder how much of her I’m changing with each word I say.

Photo copyright Melanie Edwards & ModernMami.com

Tell Them You Care

Melanie Edwards — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 01:40:43 +0000

I’ve known my husband close to seventeen years. This means I’ve known him more than half my life. In a sense, we’ve done a lot of growing up together.

Though we were in high school at the same time, we didn’t attend the same high school. In fact, we lived on opposites sides of town, about 20 miles away from each other. When you’re a teenager in high school, those 20 miles can seem like a world apart. But, we made it work.

Back then, we communicated via phone calls and even letters. We did not email each other and we did not have text messaging or Facebook. In fact, at one time, I had a pager (remember those?) and he would page me with specific codes that translated into words (i.e., 143 = I love you). But, at the heart of it, we initially exchanged information through letters and even cards. I know I sent him a few cards over the years with hand-written notes and letters. Many years later after we got married, I found out he actually saved some of those cards and letters.

Telling people that I love them, that I care about them, or that they’re on my mind is not something I’ve ever had an issue doing. Every time I say good-bye to my mother, I tell her I love her. Each time my husband and I hang up from a phone call, we say “I love you” in our good-bye. But, something I no longer do very often is write letters or hand-written notes. I can’t remember the last time I wrote my husband a nice note to tell him how much I appreciate all he does for our family.

I recently took the opportunity to use one of the cards Hallmark sent me and write my husband a message. I wanted to remind him that his hard work, dedication, and commitment to us doesn’t go unappreciated. I know I tell him in-person, but somehow writing it down makes the message come out in a more eloquent manner.

Even though my husband is not a huge card-person, I know he does appreciate receiving them. It was nice to see him read my card, smiling along as he read my words. My husband is not typically a man of many words, so a thank you and hug was enough for me to know my words meant something and were appreciated. I can’t help but wonder if he’ll save this card too for years to come just as he saved the cards I gave him at the beginning of of our relationship. I guess I’ll have to wait seventeen more years to find out!

Do you often tell your friends and loved ones how much they mean to you? Do you send them cards or letters to do so or does a text message or email work for you?

Sometimes It Really Does Take a Village, Let’s Appreciate Them

Melanie Edwards — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 05:15:35 +0000

“I don’t know how single parents do this!”

I remember the first time I said those words to my husband. It was a few months after our baby girl was born. Life with a baby, I found out, was hard – harder than I ever could have imagined. How in the world do single parents get through the daily logistics of taking care of a baby without the support of another? How do single moms take simple bathroom breaks with no one else around to watch baby? “I admire single moms…and dads,” I tell him every time I have a challenging day with the kids.

Luckily, my husband has been there for our kids (and me) since the very beginning for both our kids. He’s a very nurturing and hands-on father, something that seems to surprise many people. It’s also something I’m extremely grateful for since I know not all fathers are like him. He knows it, as I thank him quite often. His response: “Why are you thanking me? They’re MY kids!”

As supportive as my husband is about many things, and even though we’re both there for our kids, it’s still hard to raise children. It’s amazing how much energy kids take out of you. Even in a household with two parents, like ours, help from others is appreciated. That help comes in many forms.

There’s the childcare center baby girl attended for two years – at first full-time when both my husband and I worked outside the home, then part-time after I began to work from home. There’s also friends and family who have helped us at various times over the years in one way or another. But, the most important member of our village has to be my mom. My kids’ abuela has also been there for us since the beginning, helping me out during my c-section recovery the weeks after giving birth (both times), and continually over the years.

My mom, without a doubt, has been of great help and continues to be. She loves our kids as if they’re her own and is pretty much willing to do anything for them. In turn, my kids have a wonderful relationship with their abuela and I can see that they truly consider her a part of their support system. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that my mom took care of our daughter for three and a half years, five days a week, before she started attending the childcare center. Abuela has definitely helped us and has played an important role in our children’s lives.

It’s people like these that need to know they are appreciated. Sometimes a simple card saying so can go a long way. I took some time to browse the personalized cards available on Hallmark.com to find the perfect thank you card for my mom. I started the process, but as with many things in our busy lives, am still working on finishing up her personalized card. I can’t wait for her to get it! She needs to be reminded just how much we appreciate having her as part of our village.

Who’s in your village and plays an important role in your children’s lives? Have you thanked them recently?

Top photo: pasukaru76/Flickr

Summer Means Family Vacations, Right?

Melanie Edwards — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 13:53:27 +0000

Summer means vacation time for many families, but that’s not something I’m used to. We did take family vacations occasionally, but it wasn’t a set every year kind of thing. Now that I have my own family, I see the same pattern happening.

We have been lucky to take a trip every year since 2008, beginning with my husband and I creating our honeymoon for our five-year anniversary, since we never had an official honeymoon. The year after that we took a big family trip to Puerto Rico and brought baby girl along, plus extended family. Since our vacation in Puerto Rico, all of our family “vacations” have revolved around social media conference trips I’ve had that we’ve made into family trips. Conferences in New York City, Miami, and Washington D.C. have allowed my husband and daughter to explore those cities while I attended the events. But, none have been true family vacations since it’s just not the same to do a little here and there while also juggling a conference.

We need a real family vacation.

Unfortunately, this year is looking to be about the same. We have no plans for a vacation this summer and are pretty much staying in Orlando. Some people call this a staycation; growing up we just called it staying home for the summer. Of course, we do have fun! There’s various things for us to do locally, including visiting Central Florida theme parks, heading to the beach, and museum visits. We’re even thinking of heading up the coast one weekend and making a visit to St. Augustine, the oldest city in the U.S.

While we may not have a traditional summer vacation planned each year, we manage to have fun as a family and have been lucky enough to have seen many cities in just the past few years. My daughter has done more travel in her short six years of life, than my husband and I did in our first fifteen years! Baby boy is not far behind, having traveled quite a bit before even his first birthday. We’re definitely lucky in this respect, as I know some families never get to travel at all.

Does summer mean family vacation time for your family? What are some of your plans this summer?

Photo copyright ModernMami™.com

Querida Mamá: A Letter for My Mom this Mother’s Day

Melanie Edwards — Tue, 08 May 2012 17:09:26 +0000

Note: The following is in Spanish because when I speak to my mom, I speak to her in the first language I learned, Spanish. An English translation can be found below, so just scroll down!

Querida mamá,

No sé ni como empezar a describir lo mucho que aprecio la madre que tú eres. Son tantas cosas que me has enseñado – los consejos que me has dado desde chiquita, como ser buena madre y esposa, y como luchar para poder salir adelante.

Tú siempre fuiste honesta conmigo y compartiste lo que fue tu niñez, como lucharon para sobrevivir en esos tiempos difíciles, y porque tú querías mejor para nosotros. Me dijiste muchas veces lo duro que es ser mujer, pero al mismo tiempo me enseñaste que uno tiene que tener compasión. Pasamos por momentos difíciles entre tú y yo, pero creo que esos momentos sirvieron para prepararme para ser la mujer que soy hoy.

Yo sé que a veces yo no te lo digo o te lo muestro muy bien, pero créeme que siempre estoy pensando en ti y como puedo hacer mas. Quisiera poder verte todos los días sin tener que preocuparme del trabajo, los niños, la casa y todas esas otras cosas que al final del día me pregunto porque dediqué tiempo para hacerlas. A veces ni importan.

Te quiero decir que en los treinta y dos años de mi vida, siempre he sabido que puedo contar contigo. Yo sé que el amor que tienes por tus hijos es grande y que tú harías cualquier cosa por ayudarnos. Tu corazón es grande y les muestras el mismo cariño a tus nietos que el que nos distes a nosotros. Por eso, te digo mil veces ¡gracias!

Mami, es difícil imaginar mi vida sin ti. Tan sólo de pensar que la realidad es esa, que un día no vas a estar aquí, casi me muero yo por dentro. Te quiero mucho, mami y te agradezco todo lo que has hecho por tus hijos, por mí, por mi nena y nene, y por ser la mujer y madre que eres.

En este día de las madres que celebraremos el domingo, espero que recuerdes lo mucho que has hecho en tu vida, lo mucho que te queremos, y cuanto te admiro.

**********************

Dear mom,

I don’t even know how to begin to describe how much I appreciate the mother you are. There are so many things you’ve taught me – the advice you’ve given me since I was little, how to be a good mother and wife, and how to fight in order to succeed.

You were always honest with me and shared stories from your childhood, how your family struggled during rough times, and why you wanted better for us. Many times you told me how hard it is to be a woman, but at the same time you taught me to have compassion. You and I had difficult moments, but I believe even those moments helped prepare me to be the woman I am today.

I know I don’t always tell you or show you, but believe me that I’m always thinking about you and how I can do more. I wish I could see you every day without needing to worry about work, the kids, the house, and all those other things that at the end of the day I ask myself why I even bothered doing them. Sometimes they seem so unimportant.

I want to let you know that in the thirty-two years of my life, I’ve always known I can count on you. I know the love you have for your children is huge and that you’d do anything to help us. Your heart is big and you show your grandchildren the same love that you showed us. For that, I say thank you a million times!

Mami, it’s tough to imagine my life without you. Just from thinking about the fact that the reality is just that, one day you won’t be here, I nearly die inside. I love you a lot, mami, and appreciate all you’ve done for your children, for me, my daughter and son, and for the woman and mother you are.

As we celebrate Mother’s Day this Sunday, I hope you remember all you’ve done in your life, how much we love you, and how much I admire you.

A Card Worth Saving

Melanie Edwards — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 14:27:00 +0000

My mami kept my baby memory book until I found it and took it for myself. I now have it at my house and every so often look through it, reading my mom’s memories, and the cards she saved from when I was born. I asked her why she kept all those cards so many years after I was born and she said she wanted to remember what people wrote and who celebrated the occasion with her.

I also kept cards from when both my children were born, their baby showers, my daughter’s baptism, our wedding, and various other occasions. Over the years, I’ve downsized a bit and have let go of some of those cards, though I’ve kept some. There’s something great about reading special cards long after you received them and remembering the occasion (or non-occasion).

My daughter is going down the same path and loves to keep all the cards she receives, especially those from her abuela, my mom. I imagine one day she’ll do the same as I do and sit down to read her cards reminiscing on what was written in each. In fact, this makes me think that I should give her cards more often; what a great treasure she’ll have when she’s an adult and leading her own life!

Of course, I now save cards from my girl, as well. Cards she made are especially kept because I can remember her face and words from each time she gave me a card. I remember the first card she ever made me – that’s the one pictured here. She couldn’t yet write, but was beginning to draw and could scribble. My baby girl must have been about two years old and was so proud of her get-well card! It’s not a fancy card – my husband added words to her design – but she made it and wanted to help me feel better. So, her card sits on my desk to remind me of that special moment.

Do you have any special cards you’ve saved? I’d love to hear about them!

Spring Cleaning Fun: Tips for Spring Cleaning with Young Children

Melanie Edwards — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 05:07:44 +0000

Photo: Cielo de la Paz/Flickr

Growing up, spring cleaning is something I remember my mom doing each year. Mind you, my mom always kept a clean house and that I can remember, nothing was ever out of place. But, when spring came around, she broke out the extra cleaning duties that weren’t in her normal cleaning routine. This is when she removed the cushions from the couch to wash the covers, put mattresses out in the sun, cleaned the window screens, and went into every corner of the house to be sure not a speck of dust stayed behind.

I don’t know how many of you partake in true spring cleaning rituals each year, but it’s not something I really do. We clean regularly, but don’t have specific “spring cleaning” duties we do around this time of the year. I realize many of you are preparing to get through your spring cleaning list soon, and may be wondering how to get everything done with the kids around. Whether on the weekend or during the week, if your kids are around while you’re trying to clean, you know sometimes they do more harm than good. It seems like they always find a way to keep you from making progress and get the cleaning done, doesn’t it?

It doesn’t matter whether you’re going down your spring cleaning checklist or just doing regular cleaning at any other time of the year, it helps to know how your kids can help with the cleaning. Here are some ideas I’ve previously shared.

Tips for Spring Cleaning with Young Children

Amazingly, kids can have a lot of fun with cleaning if you make it a game. I know my girl is eager to help us clean and loves being challenged to complete her tasks in a specific time period, in a certain way, or just having fun with her chores. Sometimes, you don’t even have to create a game out of it; kids just want to be involved. I find that simply including my girl in a task pleases her. This means that we can just have a conversation as we do our chores and she’s glad to help because it means we’re spending time together.

What are some ways you make spring cleaning fun in your house?