Lately, I have been reflecting on some of the ways that I could expose my sons more to Latino culture. There are many ways that my husband and I model cultural practices at home such as the kinds of foods we cook and spices we use, the kinds of music we listen to, and the fact that we often speak to them in Spanish. However, I often wonder if all of this is enough. Sure, the boys know that they are Latino and that their parents and family are Latinos, but what exactly does that really mean to them?

My husband and I had totally different experiences than our sons growing up that better equipped us to truly understand and appreciate what being Latino means. I was raised in Spain by my grandparents until the age of 8 and spoke Spanish as my first language. My husband, who is of Puerto Rican and Cuban descent, was raised speaking Spanish at home here in the United States. He also lived and attended school in Puerto Rico for a number of years. There is really nothing that compares to being immersed in Latin culture and language by living in a native Spanish country. We learned exactly what it meant to be a Latino and the pride and culture of our people.

Our children are being raised here in the United States and are really Americanized at this point. They speak English fluently and prefer speaking English to their friends and in school. It seems like anything they value and understand is so removed from my fond memories of my childhood when it was a simpler time and we were bound together by our language and our cultural practices.  These days, young people think that eating rice and beans and listening to Reggaeton makes you a Latino, but there is so much more to us as a people.  It is the fabric of our culture that I am trying to impart to my children.  It is that pride that has propelled us through centuries of obstacles and strife.

I often wonder if I am doing a good job of passing on these cultural lessons and these feelings of pride to my boys.  Although we work very hard at home to instill these values in them, there are many things about our lifestyle that might be contradictory in the eyes of my children.  We live in an affluent neighborhood that is not very culturally diverse in terms of the ratio of Latino and African-American families to the Caucasian families that live here.  Actually, we are one of the few Latino families that live here and own our own home.  My children also attend a Parochial school close by that is not very culturally diverse.  As a matter of fact, there are only a handful of Latino children in both of my sons’ classes.

It’s almost as if the further we move away from our roots, the further we move away from the very things that we hold dear as Latinos, such as community and cultural unity.  As every new generation progresses, here in the United States, we are catapulted from those rich cultural practices of our past into the American way of life.  Most of us came here looking for opportunities and a better way of life and we definitely got those things.  Unfortunately, however, I believe that we somehow lost something along the way and it is this very thing, this essence of being Latin that is lacking in the younger generations.

That is why I am working very hard to raise my sons to be proud of whom they are and to be proud of being Latino.  I believe that you cannot know where you are going if you don’t know where it is that you came from.  It is not enough to remind my boys that they are Latin and to remind them that some of the things that we do are because we are Latin, we have to show them what it means to be a Latino.  Being a Latino includes a rich cultural heritage that is made up of an array of cultural practices that span across a vast network of native Spanish-speaking countries.  Although all Latinos do not originate from the same country, we have an unspoken brotherhood that binds us by way of a common language and a common history.  It is this pride and this brotherhood that I hope to teach my boys.  My hope is that my husband and I will be able to lay a foundation that will be strong enough to influence future generations of our family.  This is one of the legacies that we want to leave our children.

How do you maintain pride for your Latino heritage? If you have children, how do you help them feel proud of their Latino culture?

This post is part of a paid campaign.

Do you remember how old you were when your mother began teaching you how to clean? Or did she? I can’t really remember exactly how old I was when I began to learn. I do, however, have memories of being 8 or 9 years old and coming home after school to a list of chores that included tasks such as sweeping, vacuuming, and cleaning the bathroom.

It used to irk me to no end that I was expected to help with such chores, while my 16 year old brother was not. By that age we were no longer living in Puerto Rico, and being influenced by my new peers and their way of thinking, I would sometimes question why I had to clean and he did not. “Porque tú tienes que aprender como limpiar y cocinar para que cuando tengas tu propia casa y marido sepas mantenerla.” (Because you need to learn how to clean and cook so that when you have your own home and husband, you’ll know how to maintain it.) That was the answer I would receive from my mother and yes, I am very much aware how antiquated it was. Even then, it seemed odd to me.

Yet, for all the complaining I did and the old-fashioned thinking my mom had at the time, I now find myself saying things like, “I’m glad my mom taught me how to properly clean and cook.” The husband appreciates it too and will often boast to his friends and family when they compare notes on “the wives.”

So, it seems, that learning cleaning rituals and tips from your mother, is a big part of many Latinas’ childhood, as is true for me. So much so, that a recent study conducted by Garcia Research, found that “93% of Latinas helped their mothers clean as a child with sweeping, mopping and washing dishes.” That’s a lot of little girls complaining about chores, much like I did.

But, even more interesting were some other findings of this study that resonated with me. It’s almost as if they came to my house and observed my own cleaning habits.

• More than half of Latinas prefer certain elements of old-fashioned cleaning, such as washing dishes by hand instead of dishwasher (83 percent), mopping the floors with a regular mop or by hand (73 percent). Most preferred this old fashioned approach because it’s what they are used to and plus it was “a better clean.”

Yes! I almost always wash dishes by hand. It’s only been in the past few months that we’ve begun to use the dishwasher more. My mother doesn’t even use hers at all and uses it instead for storage. I’m not sure what the other 27% of people are doing for their floors if they’re not mopping with a regular mop. I always tell my husband, “This is how my mom taught me. It’s the only way I know how to do it and it works!” So, yeah. It seems the majority of Latinas are in agreement with me regarding cleaning rituals we learned from our mamis.

• Music is an integral part of the cleaning routine with Spanish pop being the favorite playlist among 53 percent.
  

Ok, this one is a little different for me. While music is a big part of my cleaning routine – I always blast the radio to get me going while I clean – I don’t listen to Spanish pop. Well, I guess it actually depends on what this study considers to be Spanish pop. I tend to listen to more upbeat music, including merengue, salsa, and English dance music, in order to keep my energy going. But, still. The fact that research confirms that most of us clean while listening to music amazes me.

It’s pretty amazing to see that so many Latinas have so much in common – even down to something as simple as cleaning. The study also found that “43% of Latinas report their significant others as helping with household cleaning – a surprising find, considering the long-standing myth that cleaning is a role predominantly performed by women.” How great is that? The myths are being debunked, even for Latino households. At first I thought that this finding was reflective of the newer generation of Latinas, such as myself. However, the participants in the study were Spanish-dominant (59%), Hispanic females between 25 to 54 years old living in the U.S.

Because the holiday season is upon us and many of us are preparing our homes for family gatherings and guests, it’s a high season for cleaning. Why not have some fun with it and join Clorox in a Holiday celebration? Clorox is currently hosting the Holiday Health Twitter Sweepstakes, where they’ll be giving away a weekly prize of a $50 American Express gift card for 5 weeks, plus a grand prize of a $100 American Express gift card at the end of the sweepstakes. To enter, just tweet how you’re helping to keep your family healthier during the holiday season, using the hashtag #cloroxfiestas. You can tweet in either English or Spanish. Official sweepstakes rules can be found both in English and Spanish. Good luck if you enter!

What cleaning ritual did you learn from your mom, aunt, grandmother, etc.? Will you teach the same traditions/rituals to your children?

Disclosure: This post was written in conjunction with a paid campaign on behalf of The Clorox Company, but all experiences, thoughts, and opinions are original.

I’m very excited to share with you a new venture that I’ve been working on for months, but that just launched late last night! Ella Media is my marketing and consulting business, through which I’ll be connecting businesses with today’s digital Latina. Ella Media also provides digital marketing and consulting services for large brands, small businesses, and social media savvy women.

If you’re a digital Latina (Latina blogger, social media Latina, etc.) seeking fun campaigns that also value your time, then sign up to be considered for upcoming campaigns!

While you’re at it, how about also connecting with Ella Media?

• follow on twitter
• like on facebook

Why is this a need? You may remember that more and more Brands are Leveraging the Reach of Social Media Latinas. The Latinas in Social Media BlogHer 2010 panel also proved that brands and the PR agencies representing them are interested in marketing to Latinas and many times look to our community for help in doing so. It’s also evident that as bloggers we wish to be compensated for blogging and social media work, so why not work together to bring brands and Latina bloggers together?

I hope you’ll visit Ella Media and sign up. I’m really looking forward to growing my blogging community and expanding it to bring great opportunities your way.

Today is the first day of National Hispanic Heritage Month. Unlike other heritage months, where an actual calendar month is dedicated, Hispanic Heritage Month runs from September 15 – October 15 each year. This year’s theme is “Heritage, Diversity, Integrity and Honor: The Renewed Hope of America” and because my husband and I are big on our daughter learning about her heritage this is a great chance for us to expose her even more to her Latina half.

There are several events happening locally to celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month in Orlando, as I’m sure there are in many other cities across the nation. I’d also like to do some learning activities at home with her and will check with her preschool if they are planning to include anything in their curriculum during this next month. Of course, there are plenty of sites with activities, lesson plans, and information to help me celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month with my preschooler. Here’s a few you can browse.

12 Resources to Celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month with Your Kids

Lessons for Hispanic Heritage Month from Education World

Offers 12 activities to begin exploring Hispanic heritage. A brief description of each activity is provided, along with the appropriate grade-level.

Hispanic Heritage Month Resources from Colorín Colorado

Provides activities, information, ready-to-use tools, as well as lesson plans and book ideas.

Hispanic and Latino Heritage in Books for Children and Teens

Lists a variety of reading lists, award-winning books, and articles featuring books for children and teens that focus on Hispanic and Latino heritage and other themes.

Hispanic-Heritage Resources for Teachers (or parents)

Though this site was written with teachers in mind, any parent can use the lesson plans, printables, activities, and references provided.

Celebrate Hispanic Heritage on NickJr.com

Includes various activities, ideas, and recipes featuring NickJr.com characters – perfect for preschoolers.

Hispanic Heritage Month Book List on PBS

List of Spanish-language or bilingual books to share with your child.

Celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month with Maya & Miguel on PBS Kids

Celebrate the contributions of Hispanic Americans to the United States with Maya & Miguel of PBS Kids.

Hispanic Heritage Month Party on Playhouse Disney

Throw a party to celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month with Handy Manny! Page includes recipes, games, activities, and party checklists.

Celebrate Hispanic Heritage from Scholastic

Information on Latinos in history, famous Latinos, and Hispanics in the Americas.

National Hispanic Heritage Month Activities from Crayola

Coloring pages, crafts, and ecards to enjoy with your children.

Hispanic Heritage Teaching Resources from Smithsonian Education

Lots of resources, including information on carnivals and masks, Latino families, music, and art.

Hispanic Heritage Free Resources from Gale

Includes Spanish-language eBooks and a range of resources to help users study and celebrate Hispanic Heritage.

Do you plan to celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month with your child(ren)? What are some activities you plan to do?

I had a nice, quiet, lazy weekend. One where I pretty much unplugged the entire two days. I had a lot of hang out time at home with my family and we rested – no going anywhere or errands to run. It was actually really nice. I think my body and mind needed it after the traveling I did this month and it seemed to be enjoyed by the husband and baby girl as well. Her and I even took a nap together.

The only thing I’m regretting about this weekend is that I didn’t go visit my parents. The last time my baby girl and I saw them was the weekend before. It’s harder to visit them during the week since the week entails a busy work/school schedule for all of us. So, it’s much easier to visit on Saturdays or Sundays. Since we didn’t visit this past weekend, it’s now a little over a week since we’ve seen them.

And, the guilt sets in.

Why is it that even though we had a very nice weekend, I still manage to have that one little thing that is pulling at me? I’m content with how we spent our time, but feel guilty that I didn’t carve out time to go and visit them. Since many of us play so many roles – wives, mothers, daughters – I am wondering if this is a “woman” thing. I know that men also play multiple roles, but for some reason, I don’t see many men stressing if they go over a week without talking to or seeing their extended family. In fact, I know a few who can go over 3 weeks without talking to their parents.

In our Latino culture, family is ultra, mega, important. In my immediate family, we don’t make it a habit of not talking to each other for extended periods of time. Actually, I think I’m already pushing the limits by not having a daily phone conversation with my mother; I usually talk to her every other day. And like I mentioned, we often see each other on at least a weekly basis, if not more – she does live only 15 minutes away from me.

So, does anyone else who lives close to their parents struggle with this? How do you keep the guilty feelings away if you happen to concentrate on yourself or family and don’t include your role as a daughter/son for a few days?

I’ve been asked a difficult question.

I was asked to write about what it means to me to be a Latina.

To be honest, I had never really given it much thought until now.

I mean, do people normally go around thinking, “What does it mean to me to be a woman?” Or a man? Or do Americans think to themselves, “What does it mean to me to be American?”

It’s just who you are. It’s you. To me, it’s much the same.

Being Latina is a large part of my identity. To be specific, being Puerto Rican is really a major influence in who I am.

I was born in Puerto Rico, but we moved to Florida when I was 8 years old. Although I’ve spent many more years in Florida than I did in Puerto Rico, my parents made sure to maintain our culture in our house. I was raised pretty much the same way I would have had we stayed in Puerto Rico. (Ok, like 90% since obviously there are outside influences from school, friends, etc.) But, my parents spoke Spanish in the house (and still do), we listened to Spanish music, we ate Puerto Rican food, and I was taught values and traditions that are important to our culture.

All of those things helped to make me who I am. However, being Latina is not just a matter of “I listen to Spanish music,” or “I eat rice and beans.” That is not what makes me Latina.

To me, it’s more about the overall culture, values, traditions, and beliefs. It’s about understanding why family is so important to us. Or understanding why my parents believed that as the youngest sibling and the only girl, I couldn’t do some of the same things my brothers did. And, how about the fact that now that I’m older and my parents are aging, I must understand why my father prefers to speak with my brother (who lives in Milwaukee) about his health issues than with me who lives 10 minutes away?

These may seem like trivial points, but if you understand the way our culture operates and the overall mentality, it’s easier to understand why these things happen the way they do.

So, what does it mean to me to be Latina? It means a rich culture, deep values, traditions, pride, and an overall appreciation for yourself and your family.

What does it mean to you?

Baby girl: “Daddy, you need a haircut.”
Husband: “Do I?”
Baby girl: “Yes, but not too much. Just a little off the top. You don’t want to be bald because then people would laugh at you.”
Husband (after some laughter): “Well baby, I don’t really care if people laugh at me. If they laugh at me because I’m bald, then they’re not good people, right?”
Baby girl: “Right.”
Husband (to me): “Man, every conversation these days turns into some great life lesson, doesn’t it?”
Me: “Yeah. sigh…”

And, it’s true. There seems to be no shortage of conversations we’re having with our 4-year-old these days that turns into some greater message or life lesson.

If she says anything about curly hair, there we are reinforcing the idea that “curly hair is so beautiful!” If we’re talking colors, once again, my husband and I pipe in like a PSA ad to say, “Don’t forget black! Black is such a pretty color.”

To some of you, this may seem a bit unnecessary or even extreme. Why do we continually have to say these things? Why not just let her live her little 4-year-old life, right? But, the truth is that when you’re raising a multicultural child, you have to constantly look out for signs and provide the proper message to your kid. She is surrounded by dolls, ads, friends, and other images that are not like her, so it’s up to her father and I to surround her with images and messages that are like her and remind her that she too should be admired.

Photo by Rashod Taylor

And, it’s not just the media we’re up against. Even family members can be culprits – without really recognizing the side effect. Just a few weeks ago, my own mother said, “Ay no! That will make her hair more curly!” when my husband said he wants to braid (corn row) my daughter’s hair. Once again, there we were saying, “There’s nothing wrong with curly hair!” It’s even difficult for me at times, to be sure I’m sending the right message to her. I have to catch myself from saying things like, “I like my hair better straight,” since I don’t want her to perceive that straight is necessarily better.

It can get exhausting at times to always be thinking about what you’re saying/doing/watching and whether or not it will affect your impressionable 4-year-old’s self-esteem. This is even more true if you’re in what’s considered the “minority” group of society.

In a way, though, all of these conversations are also helping me to feel better about my own self. Who knew that by trying to ensure my daughter grows up confident, in turn, I would help myself feel a little more confident in a body I’ve known for 30 years?

Additional thoughts of mine on multiculturalism:

• Brown is Not Enough
• Barbie Dolls and Columbus Day. What’s the Connection?

I’ve come across quite a few blog posts the past few days. I always seem to be sharing interesting articles with various people I think will like them, so I figured I’d share with everyone this time.

Here are some posts I’ve either bookmarked or stumbled this week. For more, take a look at my StumbleUpon or Delicious pages.

Social Media

How to Create a FaceBook Landing Page for Your Blog

5 Ways I’m Using Facebook to Drive Traffic, Build Brand and Increase Reader Engagement

10 Beautiful Social Media Infographics

Blogging

A Complete Guide to Finding and Using Incredible Flickr Images

Comment on other blogs!

The Number One Way to Flip Your Blog into a Business

Personal

Our Pre-Motherhood Self

Retroacculturation. Retroacculturated. That’s me. Is it You?

I’m still not White, but am I American Indian?

What posts did you come across this week that you think I should read? It’s ok if it’s your own.

By the way, if you’re Latina and a blogger, please complete this survey. We will be presenting some of the results during our BlogHer Latinas in Social Media panel and of course, the survey report will have a much larger impact as it will help many learn about the Latina blogging community.

A few weeks ago I had a birthday. It was a big one. As in, the big 3-0. I joked around the weeks leading up to my birthday and said things like, “I don’t know how I feel about turning 30” and “Can I just say I’m 29 and 13 months instead?”

The thing is that I was being honest when I said I didn’t know how I felt about it. I truly wasn’t having a complete freak-out about it, but I also wasn’t thrilled. I just knew I was now leaving my 20′s and entering the 30′s. And, that was what bothered me a bit. The fact that I could no longer say I was in my 20′s. I was leaving behind an entire decade!

Everyone I talked to said the same things: “The 30′s are the best” and “You’ll see that the 30′s are better than the 20′s.” While that may be true, my 20′s weren’t so bad either. I graduated college, got married, and had my baby girl – all in my 20′s. Plus, there’s the whole “I still feel young” thing. Don’t laugh, but for some reason 30 is the official number in my head for leaving young and crossing over into old. I realize this doesn’t make sense.

However, it’s the idea that was in my head. I felt like leaving my 20′s meant I was also saying good-bye to my youth. My fun, lighthearted, young 20′s were now going to be in the past. Saying “I’m in my 30′s” seemed so much different than saying “I’m in my 20′s.”

Even so, I understand that 30 is really just a number. I know it doesn’t mean I’m old. I know it will be what I make of it. But, part of me couldn’t help but feel the way I did.

Obviously, the day that I actually turned 30 wasn’t so bad. It’s not like I felt a sudden change, of course. In the weeks since my birthday, I haven’t actually had the need to say “I’m 30″ yet. Maybe when I do it will become a reality for me. Because so far? I still feel 29.

Wonder how long that will last?

I’m ecstatic to let you know about the first-ever Latino themed party at a BlogHer conference! This year, there will be a Social Fiesta kicking off BlogHer, hosted by some wonderful Latina ladies (including yours truly) and the BlogHer organization.

If you’ll be attending the BlogHer conference this year, then come join us as we celebrate Latinas and Hispanic culture at the Social Fiesta at BlogHer ’10 on Thursday, August 5th.  We’ll be reveling in the different Latin flavors, music, colors and art, with plenty of food and drinks, and of course, lots of dancing!  What better way could there be to kick off BlogHer ’10?

You’ll need to RSVP in order to attend the event, but, don’t worry, that’s just a formality. The fiesta is open to anyone attending the BlogHer conference. Everyone is welcome to RSVP and all will be part of our familia! It’s sure to be a fun night!

Details

What: Social Fiesta at BlogHer ’10
Date: Thursday, August 5, 2010
Time: 6 pm EST
Where: Hilton New York
On twitter: #socialfiesta

How to RSVP: Visit the Social Fiesta Eventbrite page and “register” to RSVP for the party. You’ll need your BlogHer conference ticket confirmation number.

Hosted by BlogHer and the following Latinas in Social Media:

• Ana Roca Castro – premiersocialmedia.com
• Silvia Martinez – mamalatinatips.com
• Melanie Edwards – modernmami.com
• Carolyn Gonzalez – caroincarolina.blogspot.com
• Monica Vila – theonlinemom.com
• Jeannette Kaplun – todobebe.com
• Lisa Perez – newyorkchica.com
• Lex Esparza – laprimerablog.com
• Migdalia Rivera – latinaonamission.com
• Mariana Perez – ridingwithnohands.com
• Denisse Icaza – ahorrosparamama.com
• Daisy Sutherland – drmommyhelpsyou.com
• Julie Diaz-Asper – dbestof.com
• Ana Lilian Flores – spanglishbaby.com

Blog Bling

If you want to let everyone know you’ll be at the Social Fiesta, use these buttons on your blog! Spread the fiesta love people.

160×300

Copy and paste the following code:

<a href=”http://www.modernmami.com/blogging/blogher-party-social-fiesta-2010″ mce_href=”http://www.modernmami.com/blogging/blogher-party-social-fiesta-2010″><img src=”http://www.blogher.com/files/Fiesta_160x300.gif” mce_src=”http://www.blogher.com/files/Fiesta_160x300.gif” alt=”I’m going!” /></a>

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Copy and paste the following code:

<a href=”http://www.modernmami.com/blogging/blogher-party-social-fiesta-2010″ mce_href=”http://www.modernmami.com/blogging/blogher-party-social-fiesta-2010″><img src=”http://www.blogher.com/files/Fiesta_125.jpg” mce_src=”http://www.blogher.com/files/Fiesta_125.jpg” alt=”I’m going!” /></a>

I can’t wait to see you at our fiesta!