Every time I visit my parents’ house, it brings about bittersweet feelings. I’m glad to be able to spend time with them, but seeing my dad fall deeper into his dementia and be forced to succumb to the disease, is heartbreaking in many ways.

This was a man that growing up I saw as strong and in control. He took care of things, made rational and logical decisions, and was a provider. Now, he doesn’t even know how to properly tie his shoes. He has trouble following a conversation. He asks about things we take for granted; “Do I eat with this?” he says, as he points to the fork on the table.

It’s tough to see him worsen almost daily. The disease has completely transformed him into a different man. There are traces of who he used to be still around, but he acts and looks different. It’s frustrating, sad, and at times, maddening. And, there’s nothing we can do.

Photo by Jenny Downing

What is your best tip for getting back to you and your family’s normal routine after a vacation?

Last week, my family and I spent the week at the Universal Orlando Resort. Even though we live in Orlando, we had the opportunity to stay on-site and enjoy one of the hotels, as well as both theme parks. We had a great time, of which I’ll be sharing more with you in the future, but it was a jam-packed week of activities. On this Monday, we’re definitely feeling the effects of our vacation. As many say, we could definitely use a vacation to recover from our vacation. But, alas, it’s back to work, school, and household responsibilities.

It’s not just the adults that are feeling this way. Even our kids are still recovering. Baby girl is currently taking a nice nap, which she initiated without me prompting her to lie down. Baby boy has been sleeping a bit more than normal as well and is still coming down from the excitement. I’m sure they will both be back at it by tomorrow, but I can’t say the same for my husband and I. I imagine both of us will probably be dragging all week, because let’s face it, when will we really ever have time to properly rest and recover?

So, what are some of your tricks for getting back into a routine? Do you just let things flow until you eventually fall into a standard schedule? Or do you purposely work on getting everyone on track?

Disclosure: My family and I were invited to Universal Orlando Resort as part of a blogger/media press tour. All expenses paid. No compensation received.

My family and I are visiting Universal Studios this week as part of a blogger tour. We live about 30 minutes away from Universal, but haven’t been in 5 years, so this is definitely a treat for us. Baby girl is super excited, as am I, to be honest.

We’re staying at the Loews Portofino Bay hotel and after one night here, I can say it’s a beautiful hotel from what I’ve seen so far. Today we’re headed to Islands of Adventure, which is home to Dr. Seuss land, Marvel Comics, and many other fun themes.

Follow along on our adventure this week and join us on Twitter via the #UORfamily hash tag or on Facebook, where I’ll post photos as well.

What are some must-sees that we can’t miss?

Disclosure: Our family was invited on an all-inclusive blogger tour of Universal Orlando Resorts.

My mother has a photo of me from when I was about three or four years old. You can see the plastic-covered couches that were popular back in those days, especially in Latino households and throughout the Caribbean. In this photo, I am serving my abuelo his “cafe” in one of my plastic toy cups – we didn’t play “tea party” in Puerto Rico; coffee was what was served. Next to me is a Strawberry Shortcake stroller holding one of my dolls. I loved that stroller and only wish I still had it for my daughter to use now. What I remember most, though, is playing with my abuelo.

It’s interesting to see my daughter play the same types of games and even with some of the same toys I had. Like Strawberry Shortcake, so many of the toys from my childhood are back again! But, beyond the same toys making a comeback, there are games that never go out of style. You will always find little girls having tea parties. You can be sure they’ll always play pretend with their dolls and stuffed animals. The latest game my daughter plays in the mornings is to play teacher with her “classroom” full of stuffed animal students – a game I too used to play when I was little.

Through these games, we as parents are able to share more than just quality time with our children. We are sharing stories and memories of our own childhood. I think most kids enjoy hearing stories of mommy and daddy as little kids, my daughter included. In playing together and making play time family time, we’re all getting a dose of nostalgia. Most importantly, we are spending time together.

These are the moments that I am sure my daughter enjoys the most. Playing with mom and dad, hearing stories of how different, or not so different, play time was for mom and dad, and of course, creating her own memories she’ll one day share with others.

When I was in my early 20s, I put it in my mind that I wanted to have a job that would allow me to be available and at home with my future child. That is the reason I chose real estate as my career. Fast forward fifteen years later, I found myself as a single mom when my only son was two years old. Obviously, being divorced was not part of my vision, but the career choice helped me to focus on my main intent which also included being able to pick up my son at school every day.

Little did I know how difficult it would be to balance my life at home with my work when real estate sales meant you are on call at any time of the day including weekends. Luckily, whenever I found myself stressed, I remembered my goal of being with my son whenever I wanted to. That one priority is what helped me to stay grounded and in the flow of enjoying an immeasurable amount of moments that I constantly cherish in my heart.

As the years went by, I was offered opportunities to work in large commercial firms which I know would have led me to more money. Life is constantly presenting us with choices. I sometimes wish I would have made more money at certain points in my life because I would have been more prepared when the economy changed.

Today’s economic environment brings additional challenges to many families who have to reinvent themselves to stay afloat due to job loss. It causes much more stress and uncertainty. I know, because I have had to live this as the sole provider of my household in a field that was first hit in the economy.

That is why it is imperative in these days to stay focused on your own well being so that your children feel secure. I sincerely believe that security from within will eventually lead you to better opportunities. There is a delicate balancing act when faced with anxiety and I can’t say I have all the answers because there were many times when I was ready to pull my hair out.

But then I remembered my focus: enjoying time with my son, laughing with him, instilling values of self worth and strength of character. And you know what? We survived and am proud to say that he is a confident young seventeen year old man ready to take on college this year, spread his wings and look forward to his future.

I have absolutely no regrets of my choice to make nurturing and love a priority because I feel fulfilled in my role as a mother. In hindsight, all the other roles I had to juggle were secondary. The abundant time I spent with him was priceless and more valuable than having a million dollars in my bank account.

So now that I am about to become an empty nester, my greatest pearl of wisdom is to get out of the house when you are ready to go ARGHHHH, stick the kids in the car and go enjoy a moment in the park and always communicate positive affirmations with them. You might be surprised one day, when they replay all those good thoughts back to you when you least expect it, and they end up uplifting YOU. When this happened to me, I guarantee you, I had the biggest smile ever!

Photo courtesy of Blanca Stella

Those who know me well, say that I always seem to be on the run. But I know I’m not the only one. Moms everywhere seem to be scrambling for time and we usually manage to juggle (sometimes, rather successfully) one too many balls in the air.

A glimpse of what we juggle every given day: Carpools, supermarket shopping, school activities, meals for the household, school supplies, our kids social lives, after-school activities, managing the home, setting time aside for our spouses… the list could go and on. And this is EXCLUDING any professional obligations you may have.

The important issue that we tend to forget about is not only the juggling, but the balancing. It’s very easy to let one aspect of your life take over the others. And with women, that usually means forgetting to take care of ourselves.

Don’t you forget about me…

Remember that Simple Minds song? OK, now that you know how old I am, I just want to share some simple tips to not lose yourself while juggling everything else during the adventures of motherhood.

• Don’t feel guilty about doing something for yourself. Nobody else will do it for you.  And look at it this way: it will allow you to release tension. A more relaxed mom, is a happier mom. A happier mom, is a better mom.
• Take care of yourself. Yes, that means taking your vitamins, getting enough rest, eating well.
• Treat your “me” time as an appointment. Sounds too planned? Well, the truth is, IT WORKS.
• Organization is key. Arrange with your spouse or partner or a trusted friend to watch over the little ones for a specific amount of time each week to give you a breather.
• Choose something you’d like to do, not something you need to do: a manicure, coffee with friends, reading a book, even shopping.

When work overwhelms you

Regardless of where you work at, the juggling act seems to throw in more and more balls in the air and if you really pause to think, it can overwhelm you. In these cases, learn to prioritize what’s urgent from what’s not. If everything’s urgent, then something’s really wrong, because something has to be most important in your to do list.

In this era of hyperconnectivity, it can be hard to set limits and boundaries. But just like you need them when raising your kids, you need them to keep your sanity while working and trying to balance your life a bit better. And believe it or not, you are the person that needs to respect those boundaries the most.

For some, it means no smart phones even near the kitchen or dinner table. For others, not taking calls or answering emails in the evening. And I’m assuming you already know that texting and driving don’t mix well. You need to find what works for you. Then, stick to your resolutions.

When family responsibilities drain you

Sometimes it’s the chores and everyday routines that sap out your energy, Again, a little organization and planning goes a long way.

• Decide what really has to be done and don’t get sucked into the non essential stuff.
• Make a schedule for your kids. For younger ones, take pictures of the daily tasks they must do (for example: eat breakfast, brush their teeth, take a bath, got to bed) and decorate together a poster they can look at. For older kids, make a schedule on the computer and print it out for them.
• Buy gifts for birthday parties in advance. If you are always pressed for time, use gift bags and tissue paper instead of wrapping every gift individually. You can even buy in bulk online and save.
• Do a master shopping list on your computer, print several and have them in the kitchen. Check off items as soon as you are running low and that way you’ll avoid multiple trips to the supermarket during the same week.
• Learn to say no. Sometimes that means scheduling less after-school activities, organizing less play dates or not hosting all the family dinners.
• Ask for help. Wonder Woman only exists in a comic book.

Personally, I dream about having my groceries delivered, but have to accept the reality that none of the supermarkets close to my home offer that service. So, I shop once a week and go at odd times when not so many people do their grocery shopping. Sometimes that means right after dropping the kids off for school, other times it’s late in the evening while my husband takes over parenting duties.

You’re in this for the long haul

The juggling act of motherhood is not a one hit wonder. You’re in this adventure for the long haul, and will have better days and not so great days.  Sometimes one of the balls will fall to the floor, or you might get hit on the head by a curve ball. It’s not the end of the world, and those around you will follow your lead on how to react.

So next time something doesn’t work out the way you had planned, try laughing or smiling instead of getting angry or even wanting to cry. A sense of humor works wonders and aside from making you feel a bit better, comic relief is underrated when dealing with your children. So then, aside from juggler extraordinaire, you will tune into the comedian inside of you. After all, there are moments in life that are so utterly absurd, all you can do is laugh if you want to find the strength to keep on going!

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Growing up, I know I played a lot. Whether playing dolls, school, or making up some kind of game, I remember playing a lot with my friends in our backyard patio or theirs. So far, though, my four year old hasn’t been able to experience that same play time with her peers. I don’t even know if there are any kids her age in our neighborhood. Perhaps when she starts school next year, it will become easier to find playmates for her in the area. Until then, we will continue to be her primary playmates, something else that is different from her childhood and mine.

You see, I don’t remember my parents being as involved in play time as I know my husband and I are with her. Sure, I know my mom did play dolls with me sometimes, but for the most part, I remember playing with friends and my brothers more than with mami y papi. That may also change for baby girl now that she’s about to have a baby brother.

Still, I actually love our family play time and know that both my husband and I have a lot of fun actively playing with our daughter. I can’t imagine that will change too much in the coming years.

This Thanksgiving weekend has been one where we’ve done quite a bit of playing as a family. The fact that there’s been no school or work, has allowed us to slow down and enjoy our time together more. That’s definitely something I’m thankful for.

Some of our favorite activities we enjoy as a family that I’m thankful we get to do on a regular basis include impromptu dance parties in our living room, game nights (whether board games or family video games), and movie nights. Each allow all of us to participate and often bring about interesting conversations with our four year old, plus lots of laughter.

As our baby girl grows and her soon-to-be baby brother shows his personality, our family play time will be enhanced and expand to include many more activities. One we look forward to is bike riding, but she hasn’t mastered the skill just yet.

What family activities or play time are you thankful for? Did you get to enjoy some of them this Thanksgiving?

Disclosure: I am a Shout Brand Ambassador through a compensated Mom Bloggers Club member program. This post was written in conjunction with the program, but all opinions and thoughts are original.

Just when I started feeling like I had a bit of a handle on this work-life balance thing, I will be needing to redefine, readjust, and re-prioritize, well everything, in the coming weeks. Our second child will soon be here and come early December, the balance in our house will be thrown out the door. At least, until we’re able to come up with a new routine and schedule for the various aspects of our lives.

I am fully aware that life will be changing in many ways now that our family of three will be a family of four. But, I don’t think that anything can truly prepare you until you’re in the midst of it and able to assess just what adjustments need to be made. It’s much like when you have the first baby – people can tell you their experiences, advice, and tips for how your life will change, but you don’t really know until that baby is in your house.

However, with a business to run, two blogs, and oh yeah, a family and house to manage, I can’t help but try to prepare myself ahead of time. If anything, it at least gives me some peace of mind to know that I tried. That counts, right?

My plan?

• Business: I am doing as much as I can now to line up plans so that I am in a good spot for taking a few weeks off. Once I’m past the initial period of adjustment, I hope to come back to pick up right where I left off with minimal catch-up needed.
• Blogs: I’m trying my best to write extra posts that I can schedule for the coming months. I am also seeking contributors that I can highlight with guest posts, in order to keep content running while I’m on maternity leave. (Email me if you’re interested in contributing with a guest post, or two, or three.) And, of course, I’m trusting that all of you will fully understand and stick with me if there’s a slow down in posts during that time.
• Family: We have already been preparing our baby girl with several talks and mentions of a) how she can help when her baby brother arrives and b) that there may be times we will not be able to rush to cater to her need at that moment. I know that family members will also be around to help – I’m lucky to live near my mom. So, between my husband, myself, and the help of family, I am confident that we’ll be able to adjust to the new dynamics with minor adjustments.
• House: Since our baby boy will be here very very soon, we are in what we call “crunch time mode.” My husband has been working hard to get the house clean, rearranging and reorganizing certain areas, since my very pregnant self is of no use these days and can barely bend at this point. I also intend to work out a menu plan with my husband, full of easy meals he can cook if need be and meals that can serve for two or three dinners (perhaps with some re-purposing).

I know that all of this planning doesn’t mean that our life after the baby is born will undergo a smooth, worry-free, and uncomplicated transition. I realize there will be unexpected circumstances and changes. Still, I hope that some of this planning will ease some of the transitions and allow us to deal with the unexpected without needing to worry about those aspects of our lives that we can, in fact, control at this moment.

Do you have any tips to share for transitioning and welcoming a second child into the family?

Last week, I unplugged four out of the five weeknights. After 4:30/5 pm, I was off the computer and remained off. One night I was forced to unplug, but that’s another story you can read about on 40weeks Plus. However, what I realized last week was how great unplugging can be. I still think I got lots done – work-wise anyway, not in the home – but, I don’t feel overly spent.

Something else I found myself doing was connecting with my husband in small ways. Nothing major – but, I would catch myself staring at him, admiring the hard work he does to be a good father and husband. I found myself actually missing him and yearning to be near him. It brought back memories of those intense, passionate, and highly emotional days when we were only sixteen and learning to love each other.

Wonderful, isn’t it?

My unplugging continued through the long holiday weekend. I don’t think I opened the laptop more than once over the three day weekend, rarely checked in on email on my phone, and only tweeted once or twice over the weekend. While it wasn’t 100% unplugged, anyone who knows about working from home, especially in social media, knows it really was unplugging compared to a normal day.

And, not surprisingly, my world is not turned upside down. Sure, I have a few more emails to answer than I did on Friday afternoon, but nothing urgent. Yes, I could have gotten ahead on blog writing for this week, but all will not be lost. Instead, I have a weekend full of family time to show for it and many laughs that were shared. If only the house had cleaned itself while we were having fun this weekend…

Very timely, as I was going through my google reader account yesterday, these two posts were there waiting for me to read:

• The Importance of Soul Work for Bloggers and Businesswomen
• Productivity & Quality Down Time: They Go Hand in Hand

How did you spend your holiday weekend? Did you celebrate Labor Day as I did by taking a day off?

I had a nice, quiet, lazy weekend. One where I pretty much unplugged the entire two days. I had a lot of hang out time at home with my family and we rested – no going anywhere or errands to run. It was actually really nice. I think my body and mind needed it after the traveling I did this month and it seemed to be enjoyed by the husband and baby girl as well. Her and I even took a nap together.

The only thing I’m regretting about this weekend is that I didn’t go visit my parents. The last time my baby girl and I saw them was the weekend before. It’s harder to visit them during the week since the week entails a busy work/school schedule for all of us. So, it’s much easier to visit on Saturdays or Sundays. Since we didn’t visit this past weekend, it’s now a little over a week since we’ve seen them.

And, the guilt sets in.

Why is it that even though we had a very nice weekend, I still manage to have that one little thing that is pulling at me? I’m content with how we spent our time, but feel guilty that I didn’t carve out time to go and visit them. Since many of us play so many roles – wives, mothers, daughters – I am wondering if this is a “woman” thing. I know that men also play multiple roles, but for some reason, I don’t see many men stressing if they go over a week without talking to or seeing their extended family. In fact, I know a few who can go over 3 weeks without talking to their parents.

In our Latino culture, family is ultra, mega, important. In my immediate family, we don’t make it a habit of not talking to each other for extended periods of time. Actually, I think I’m already pushing the limits by not having a daily phone conversation with my mother; I usually talk to her every other day. And like I mentioned, we often see each other on at least a weekly basis, if not more – she does live only 15 minutes away from me.

So, does anyone else who lives close to their parents struggle with this? How do you keep the guilty feelings away if you happen to concentrate on yourself or family and don’t include your role as a daughter/son for a few days?