When I was in my early 20s, I put it in my mind that I wanted to have a job that would allow me to be available and at home with my future child. That is the reason I chose real estate as my career. Fast forward fifteen years later, I found myself as a single mom when my only son was two years old. Obviously, being divorced was not part of my vision, but the career choice helped me to focus on my main intent which also included being able to pick up my son at school every day.

Little did I know how difficult it would be to balance my life at home with my work when real estate sales meant you are on call at any time of the day including weekends. Luckily, whenever I found myself stressed, I remembered my goal of being with my son whenever I wanted to. That one priority is what helped me to stay grounded and in the flow of enjoying an immeasurable amount of moments that I constantly cherish in my heart.

As the years went by, I was offered opportunities to work in large commercial firms which I know would have led me to more money. Life is constantly presenting us with choices. I sometimes wish I would have made more money at certain points in my life because I would have been more prepared when the economy changed.

Today’s economic environment brings additional challenges to many families who have to reinvent themselves to stay afloat due to job loss. It causes much more stress and uncertainty. I know, because I have had to live this as the sole provider of my household in a field that was first hit in the economy.

That is why it is imperative in these days to stay focused on your own well being so that your children feel secure. I sincerely believe that security from within will eventually lead you to better opportunities. There is a delicate balancing act when faced with anxiety and I can’t say I have all the answers because there were many times when I was ready to pull my hair out.

But then I remembered my focus: enjoying time with my son, laughing with him, instilling values of self worth and strength of character. And you know what? We survived and am proud to say that he is a confident young seventeen year old man ready to take on college this year, spread his wings and look forward to his future.

I have absolutely no regrets of my choice to make nurturing and love a priority because I feel fulfilled in my role as a mother. In hindsight, all the other roles I had to juggle were secondary. The abundant time I spent with him was priceless and more valuable than having a million dollars in my bank account.

So now that I am about to become an empty nester, my greatest pearl of wisdom is to get out of the house when you are ready to go ARGHHHH, stick the kids in the car and go enjoy a moment in the park and always communicate positive affirmations with them. You might be surprised one day, when they replay all those good thoughts back to you when you least expect it, and they end up uplifting YOU. When this happened to me, I guarantee you, I had the biggest smile ever!

Photo courtesy of Blanca Stella

Just when I started feeling like I had a bit of a handle on this work-life balance thing, I will be needing to redefine, readjust, and re-prioritize, well everything, in the coming weeks. Our second child will soon be here and come early December, the balance in our house will be thrown out the door. At least, until we’re able to come up with a new routine and schedule for the various aspects of our lives.

I am fully aware that life will be changing in many ways now that our family of three will be a family of four. But, I don’t think that anything can truly prepare you until you’re in the midst of it and able to assess just what adjustments need to be made. It’s much like when you have the first baby – people can tell you their experiences, advice, and tips for how your life will change, but you don’t really know until that baby is in your house.

However, with a business to run, two blogs, and oh yeah, a family and house to manage, I can’t help but try to prepare myself ahead of time. If anything, it at least gives me some peace of mind to know that I tried. That counts, right?

My plan?

• Business: I am doing as much as I can now to line up plans so that I am in a good spot for taking a few weeks off. Once I’m past the initial period of adjustment, I hope to come back to pick up right where I left off with minimal catch-up needed.
• Blogs: I’m trying my best to write extra posts that I can schedule for the coming months. I am also seeking contributors that I can highlight with guest posts, in order to keep content running while I’m on maternity leave. (Email me if you’re interested in contributing with a guest post, or two, or three.) And, of course, I’m trusting that all of you will fully understand and stick with me if there’s a slow down in posts during that time.
• Family: We have already been preparing our baby girl with several talks and mentions of a) how she can help when her baby brother arrives and b) that there may be times we will not be able to rush to cater to her need at that moment. I know that family members will also be around to help – I’m lucky to live near my mom. So, between my husband, myself, and the help of family, I am confident that we’ll be able to adjust to the new dynamics with minor adjustments.
• House: Since our baby boy will be here very very soon, we are in what we call “crunch time mode.” My husband has been working hard to get the house clean, rearranging and reorganizing certain areas, since my very pregnant self is of no use these days and can barely bend at this point. I also intend to work out a menu plan with my husband, full of easy meals he can cook if need be and meals that can serve for two or three dinners (perhaps with some re-purposing).

I know that all of this planning doesn’t mean that our life after the baby is born will undergo a smooth, worry-free, and uncomplicated transition. I realize there will be unexpected circumstances and changes. Still, I hope that some of this planning will ease some of the transitions and allow us to deal with the unexpected without needing to worry about those aspects of our lives that we can, in fact, control at this moment.

Do you have any tips to share for transitioning and welcoming a second child into the family?