Happy Three Kings’ Day! Feliz Dí­a de los Tres Reyes Magos!

We did it. Last year, after not celebrating, I resolved to celebrate Three Kings’ Day this year. And, though it’s a normal work day and baby girl is at preschool today, she did get her gift this morning and participated in the traditional Three Kings’ Day celebration.

It’s nice for me to share this tradition with her and remember my own childhood memories of celebrating El Día de Los Reyes. I remember making my basket with my family, filling it with grass on La Víspera de Reyes (the Eve of Three Kings’ Day), and being excited the next morning when I found the grass had been replaced with candy and the kings had also left me a gift.

There was one particular year that I remember vividly because I did something that I regret to this day. I can remember that I wanted one of those Barbie motorcycles; I think they were a hot item back then. When I opened my gift, it was a Barbie scooter instead, or maybe it was a moped. What I know is that it wasn’t the motorcycle I wanted. And I said, in my little whiny voice too, “Esto no es lo que yo queria!” (This isn’t what I wanted!) I was of course quickly reprimanded and told to appreciate what the kings had brought me because other kids may not have gotten anything. But, I can still remember my mami‘s face right before she scolded me. When I was old enough and learned that my parents were the ones that actually provided the gifts and that it wasn’t actually Los Reyes, I felt horrible. I know that I apologized to my mom at one point or another, maybe even multiple times. I will probably apologize again today and we’ll laugh it off.

So, how do we celebrate Three Kings’ Day? I believe that each Latino culture has their own special way of celebrating Three Kings’ Day. I can only tell you how we personally celebrated Los Tres Reyes in Puerto Rico and what I am passing down to my children so they can learn about the tradition.

Traditions for Celebrating Three Kings’ Day (El Día de los Tres Reyes Magos)

1. First, you will need either a plain shoebox or a basket made from a shoebox. Here are the baskets my kids will be using this weekend, made by their abuela:
   
   The basket is normally decorated with bows made out of wax paper, but we’ve had trouble finding such paper. So, in the past, we’ve also used regular wrapping paper.
2. Then, the night before Three Kings’ Day, on La Vispera de Reyes – have your child collect some grass from your yard and put it in the basket. The grass is for the kings’ camels. This is analogous to setting out milk & cookies for Santa or carrots for his reindeer.
3. The basket then goes under the bed (or next to it if it doesn’t fit).
4. In the middle of the night, after your child is sleeping, throw out the grass and replace it with candy. Place a gift next to the basket.
5. The next morning, your child will be delighted to find the gift and candy that the Three Kings left behind!
6. Don’t forget to explain that Los Tres Reyes left a gift for him/her the same way they brought gifts for baby Jesus when he was born. That is the meaning behind all this and why we celebrate the holiday.

Los Tres Reyes (Three Kings’ Day) is a fun holiday and one I plan to continue celebrating each year so my kids can create their own memories and embrace this Latino tradition.

Have you ever celebrated El Día de Los Tres Reyes? Do you think you might next year?

Top photo: Cryo Mariena/Flickr

Photo: Melissa Audrey

Last week, my mami fell ill and was in bed for a day and a half. Since my dad has dementia, he’s unable to help in such circumstances. Thankfully, my Tía (aunt) was staying at my mom’s house and was able to help mami out a bit before calling me to come over on the second day. I rushed over and took my mom to the doctor. The day turned out to be a long one full of running back and forth around town, so Tía decided to buy take-out for dinner for everyone. She kept stressing to me to be sure that I ordered some extra food to bring home for my husband. She said, “I know you’ve been running around all day and haven’t had time to go home and cook.” It was very thoughtful of her, really, but this led to a couple of other conversations which now make my husband and I laugh.They are true examples of the cultural differences we deal with in our marriage and the lessons I inherited from my not-so-modern-thinking (ahem, old-fashioned) parents.

The “Quieres comer?” Syndrome (Do you want to eat?)

That same night, my husband ended up meeting me at my mom’s house. As soon as he walked in the door, Tía began to let him know about the food we brought home for him and also let him know of extra food there was. It was something along the lines of “We got you chicken, but there’s some pork here too. There’s also plátanos [plantains], bread, and more beans if you need more.” My husband was taking a moment to hold our baby boy for a bit and talk with our daughter first before sitting down to eat, so he said thanks and continued with his daddy moment. About five minutes later, he again was reminded about his food and this time, warned that it might get cold. This is typical of any day he goes to my mom’s house, regardless of whether it’s my mom or Tía (as was the case this time) doing the “sit down and eat” routine. This is also typical of many Latino households who no doubt will ask you “Quieres comer?” and urge you to sit down and eat the minute you walk in the door.

No Permission Needed

Still another incident occurred that same night. As my husband checked on my mom to see how she was feeling, she said to him, “Thank you to you and Melanie for everything today.” My husband quickly responded by saying, “I didn’t do anything! I’ve been at work all day. So, thanks to Melanie.” As he walked away, my mami says to me in Spanish, “Hay que darle gracias a él también por dejarte.” (I have to thank him too for letting you.) I immediately snapped at her saying, “Letting me? Mami, I’m not asking for permission!”

My Day Involves More than Just Cooking

The next day, I was back at my mom’s house and took her to another appointment in the morning. By the afternoon, I saw that my mom was settled, had help from my Tía, and was going to take a nap for the afternoon. So, around 2:30 pm, I began to say my good-byes and announced I was leaving. My Tía asks me, “You have to get home to cook, right?” After the comments from the night before, I was already irritated with the abundance of old-fashioned thinking regarding cooking, marriage, and my role as a wife. So, this new comment added to the fuel. I politely responded to her, “No. Actually, I need to get home so I can get some work done.” In my mind, though, I was thinking, “Really? Is cooking all that is on my family’s mind? Who in the hell starts cooking dinner at 2 pm, anyway?“The irony was that at the same time, my husband was busy ordering pizza for the night since he was off from work early that day. (Our daughter had previously declared it to be pizza night that day.)

But, I was so aggravated at the moment that I momentarily forgot that this is the way my mom and aunts were taught. This is the custom and the manner in which they believe they need to take care of their loved ones. And, there’s nothing wrong with that if it works for them.

Reflecting on Costumbres (Customs)

Earlier this week, I approached my mom and laughed about the comments with her. I told her how my husband and some friends of ours reacted upon hearing these stories. She explained to me that her abuela taught her and her sisters to be this way. They were taught that they should have dinner ready by the time their husbands came home from work.She said many women even cook a heavy meal by noon in order to eat an early dinner. Mami further explained that her abuela would say, “Si puedes, come tú primero antes que él llegue del trabajo. Así, si él llega enojado y no quiere comer rápido, tu no te quedas átras sin comer por esperarlo a él.” (If you can, eat first before he comes home from work. That way, if he comes home angry and doesn’t want to eat right away, you don’t get left behind without eating while waiting on him.)

I was amazed by all this. While my mom taught me to cook and did emphasize the need to “take care of” my husband and family, she also didn’t take it to the level her abuela did. I suppose with every generation, customs remain, but also evolve. I am actually very grateful for the lessons my mom gave me. There are many great values in the way she raised us and how she grew up that I can now take from and make my own. And, while I will teach my daughter and son many of these same customs, they will be tweaked to accommodate our current style of living. They can each then take the lessons from my husband and I and make them fit their lives should they have their own families one day.

What customs or old-fashioned lessons did you inherit?

Photo from Photobucket - Click on image for original source

Happy Three Kings Day! Feliz Dí­a de los Tres Reyes Magos!

We did it. Last year, after not celebrating, I resolved to celebrate Three Kings Day this year. And, though it’s a normal work day and baby girl is at preschool today, she did get her gift this morning and participated in the traditional Three Kings Day festivities.

It’s nice for me to share this tradition with her and remember my own childhood memories of celebrating El Día de los Reyes. I remember making my basket with my family, filling it with grass on La Víspera de Reyes (the Eve of Three Kings Day), and being excited the next morning when I found the grass had been replaced with candy and the kings had also left me a gift.

There was one particular year that I remember vividly because I did something that I regret to this day. I can remember that I wanted one of those Barbie motorcycles; I think they were a hot item back then. When I opened my gift, it was a Barbie scooter instead, or maybe it was a moped. What I know is that it wasn’t the motorcycle I wanted. And I said, in my little whiny voice too, “Esto no es lo que yo queria!” (This isn’t what I wanted!) I was of course quickly reprimanded and told to appreciate what the kings had brought me because other kids may not have gotten anything. But, I can still remember my mami’s face right before she scolded me. When I was old enough and learned that my parents were the ones that actually provided the gifts and that it wasn’t actually Los Reyes, I felt horrible. I know that I apologized to my mom at one point or another, maybe even multiple times. I will probably apologize again today and we’ll laugh it off.

So, how do we celebrate Three Kings Day? I believe that each Latino culture has their own special way of doing so. I can only tell you how we personally celebrated in Puerto Rico and what I am passing down to my baby girl so that she can learn about the tradition.

Celebrating Three Kings Day (El Día de los Tres Reyes Magos)

1. First, you will need either a plain shoebox or a basket made from a shoebox. Here is a picture of the basket my brother and father made for my daughter a couple of years back:

   

   The basket is normally decorated with bows made out of wax paper, but we’ve had trouble finding such paper. So, we also used regular wrapping paper.

2. Then, the night before Three Kings Day - La Vispera de Reyes – have your child collect some grass from your yard and put it in the basket. The grass is for the kings’ camels. This is analogous to setting out milk & cookies for Santa or carrots for his reindeer.
3. The basket then goes under the bed (or next to it if it doesn’t fit).
4. In the middle of the night, after your child is sleeping, throw out the grass and replace it with candy. Place a gift next to the basket.
5. The next morning, your child will be delighted to find the gift and candy that the Three Kings left behind!
6. Don’t forget to explain that Los Tres Reyes left a gift for him/her the same way that they brought gifts for baby Jesus when he was born. That is the meaning behind all this and why we celebrate.

It’s a fun holiday and I’m so glad that we pulled it off this year. I plan on continuing to celebrate each year so that baby girl can create her own memories and embrace this Latino tradition of celebrating Three Kings Day.

Speaking of memories…I caught a little video of her preparing to collect the grass last night. Listen closely around the 14-second marker as I try hard not to laugh.

Have you ever celebrated El Dia de Los Reyes? Do you think you might next year?