“Practice makes perfect.“

We all know the saying. We heard it growing up and we’ve probably said it to our own children. The intention is good: don’t give up and keep practicing, you’ll eventually get it or be better. But, are we inadvertently sending our kids a message that perfection is desired?

My baby girl has recently been having a hard time coming to terms with mistakes she makes. She wants so badly to do things the right way (on the first try ideally) that she gets frustrated if a mistake is made or she doesn’t quite get it on that first try. We’re working on it and she’s slowly, but surely coming to terms with the fact that no one is perfect or born knowing everything.

It’s hard teaching a child to not be perfect. It’s hard explaining that it really is ok to make mistakes and that it can even be a good thing at times. We’ve talked and talked about how many mistakes her father and I have made in the past. We’ve shown her examples in history of mistakes leading to greater things and inventions. We even model and point out when we currently make mistakes and show her what we do to try to fix them. Yet, she still holds on to a bit of the idea that she would like for it to be perfect. Sometimes, it seems it even stops her from trying, for fear of “failing” in her mind.

I suppose when you’re six years old, it’s difficult to balance the desire to do your best and simultaneously accept the fact that your best may not be perfect. It’s a process, learning not to be perfect. A process that requires us to put our own flaws out on display in order to show her that even those she looks to for answers are nowhere near perfect.

These days, instead of saying, “practice makes perfect,” we say, “practice makes better.” It’s our new mantra.

How do you help your kids overcome the fear of failure and accept that mistakes are ok, or even good?

Disclosure: This story is sponsored by Hallmark through their Life is a Special Occasion campaign. As always, all stories and opinions are my own. To receive special offers and discounts from Hallmark, sign up for their e-newsletter!

Image © ModernMami.com

“Change is good,” I recently told my six-year-old. “It often means you’re progressing and moving forward.” These days I am finding the need to remind myself of this as I watch my sweet baby girl become less baby and more girl. The change is there, staring me straight in the face and taunting my motherly need to keep her a baby.

It’s odd to have your own words playing back to you, reminding you that her growing up and becoming a little girl as opposed to a preschooler is indeed, a good thing. It means she’s growing as she should, developmentally and physically. It means life is progressing and we have much to be thankful for – a healthy daughter and days full of life.

Still…she’s my baby girl and will always be my baby, no matter how much taller than me she gets. I imagine this is somewhat how my own mami felt as I got older. Of course, it’s only now that I understand.

I sit and watch my daughter and can see how her body is physically changing to prepare for what’s to come in a few years. I see how her personality is solidifying and her beliefs forming. I see the change, little by little, and wonder what change will come next.

Her questions and curiosity show signs of her interests: a little bit of science, math, and the arts. It’s a little scary how close to a perfect mix this is of my husband and I. Will that too change one day? Will she eventually lose her ability to see the small things? Just how much of her will change?

In science, it is said that by merely observing an object, you alter the results of your experiment. I sometimes wonder how much of her I’m changing with each word I say.

Disclosure: This story is sponsored by Hallmark through their Life is a Special Occasion campaign. As always, all stories and opinions are my own. To receive special offers and discounts from Hallmark, sign up for their e-newsletter!

Photo copyright Melanie Edwards & ModernMami.com

From many moms, I have learned how difficult it is to get kids to eat their veggies. I thought a great idea would be to combine zucchini with cheese, making for a delicious way to introduce this vegetable to children using familiar flavors. This is what you will need:

Zucchini and Cheese Kid-Friendly Recipe

Ingredients:

• 3 fresh zucchinis, cut in cubes
• ½ cup of chopped white onion
• 1 spoon of butter or margarine
• 1 cup of crème fresh or sour cream
• Salt and pepper or “cubitos de pollo” (chicken stock base in cubes)
• 2 cups of shredded cheese (suggest Monterrey Jack/Cheddar combination)

Steps:

1. You will need a sautéing pan with a lid and a wooden spoon.
2. Sauté onions with the butter.
3. Add the zucchini and let it cook for 5 minutes – don’t cook it too long as you want the veggies to be crunchy.
4. Add the crème fresh and the seasonings; combine well.
5. Top with cheese and cover for 5 minutes.
6. Serve hot.

This is a delicious and inexpensive way to introduce your children to zucchini; it’s also super quick! You can serve this recipe as a soup, side dish to a main course, or eat as an entrée. This is a great option for dinner or a quick lunch. If you want to reduce the calories, replace the crème fresh with Greek yogurt, the butter with olive oil, and the cheese with a low-fat option.

Enjoy!

All photos copyright and courtesy of Adriana Martin.

In April, I shared with you that fifty million Americans don’t know where their next meal will come from. There’s a lot of organizations and brands working to help with the issue of hunger in America and I’m pleased to let you know of just one more!

The Juicy Juice Fruit for All Project, is a joint effort between Nestlé Juicy Juice, Feeding America, and anti-hunger advocate Samantha Harris. The project’s goal is to put up to 35 million pieces of fruit in the hands of children and families in need. So, with every purchase of Juicy Juice for your home, Nestlé will provide a piece of fruit to hungry families.

Some interesting information I received regarding this project, is that a recent survey found that 1 in 4 moms don’t think hunger affects many children in the U.S. However, the sad truth is that over 16 million children live at risk of hunger, with summer meaning greater risk for them to be hungry. This is because during the school year, children in need often receive either free or reduced-cost meals at school.

How can you get involved in helping with the Juicy Juice Fruit for All Project? As I mentioned earlier, it’s as simple as purchasing Juicy Juice, which if you have small kids in the home (like me!) you probably already do this. From now through August 31, each time Juicy Juice is
purchased, a piece of fruit will be provided by Nestlé to hungry kids and families. Another way is to interact on Juicy Juice’s Facebook page – they have some games, quizzes and puzzles you can play to earn more fruit donations for needy families. This might be a fun way to get the kids involved and help them learn about hunger in America. Of course, volunteering at local food banks is always a great way to get involved too!

Local Food Bank Meal Giveaway

A giveaway like none before on ModernMami.com, in an effort to help feed more hungry children and their families, we’re giving away a charitable donation of 400 meals to your local food bank. We also get to donate 400 meals to a local food bank here in Orlando!

How to Enter

Required entry: If you’d like to enter this giveaway for a charitable donation of 400 meals to your local food bank simply leave a comment letting us know if you’ve ever volunteered at a local food bank.

Extra entries (optional):

Each of the following will count as 1 extra entry. You’ll need to leave a separate comment for each entry.

1. Follow @modernmami on Twitter.
2. Tweet the following (1 time only): Win a donation of 400 meals to your local food bank from @modernmami and help hungry children & families! http://bit.ly/LNXx3S #giveaway
3. Receive post updates by subscribing to our RSS feed. You can do so either via email or through a RSS reader. Leave a comment saying you did so or are already a subscriber.
4. Write a blog post on your own blog sharing the details of this giveaway. Be sure to include a link back to this post. Leave a comment with your post link.

All entries must be in by Saturday, June 30, 2012 at 11:59 pm EST. You must be 18 or older and a U.S. resident. No purchase necessary. Remember to leave a separate comment for each entry. The winner will be chosen using Random.org and will be notified via email. (Please be sure to provide a valid email address with your entry.) Winner will have 48 hours to respond and claim prize, otherwise a new winner will be chosen. Prize will be provided and fulfilled by giveaway sponsor and ModernMami™.com is not responsible for lost or damaged goods.

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Nestle and Juicy Juice in conjunction with the BabyCenter Blog Network.

Green Kiwi Photo: D Sharon Pruitt

Baby boy is starting to say more words these days. They aren’t many, but they sure are cute to hear! He’s been saying dada for a while now, and just recently started saying mama too, though he doesn’t say it very often. He was also saying small words like, wow, uh uh(to say no), and his sister’s name. In the past three months, especially in the last few weeks, he’s progressed to saying more words and even some phrases. Here’s some of what he says:

• No!
• Yeah
• I see you!
• Oh no!
• Uh oh!
• This way
• Bye!
• Hi!

Those words and phrases you can distinctly make out. In the case of no, it’s very, very clear! Isn’t that word always one they learn right away? There are a couple more words that are a little harder to understand, but we know it’s what he’s trying to say.

• Leche (milk) – He also signs this along with trying to say it.
• 1, 2, 3, go! – He doesn’t actually pronounce the numbers, but you can hear he says three one-syllable words before he says the word go, which is clear.
• Thank you – Pretty much every time we hand him something, he responds with a two-syllable phrase that very much sounds like he’s saying thank you!

It’s fun when kids are first learning to talk. I love hearing his little voice developing and seeing how quickly he picks up on things. He learned to say “I see you!” really fast after hearing me say it only a couple of times to him while playing peek-a-boo. Big sister loves hearing him talk too and will be the first one to come running if she thinks he said something new. Her favorite, of course, is hearing him say her name. She just about melts when he does that!

What were some of your babies’ first words?

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Disney Baby. I’ll be joining the Disney Baby blogging team next month, and look forward to sharing these kinds of stories with you over there! Stay tuned for more details!

Photo: Philippe Put/Flickr

Tantrums. We’re so there. Oh, how I wish we could skip this stage of parenting! Can anyone make that happen?

Tantrums are nothing new to us, of course. Being that this is our second child, we know all too well what it’s like to deal with a toddler and tantrums. Even so, it’s hard to actually get through them!

When baby girl was almost 18 months old, the terrible twos hit. And they hit hard. She actually started acting up even before that, but 18 months was probably when it got really bad. Similarly, baby boy has started his tantrums before the 18-month mark. Luckily, though, they’re not as bad as his big sister’s. Let’s hope that doesn’t change.

Back when we dealt with baby girl’s toddler tantrums, most people would provide us with some form of the following advice:

• Ignore it.
• Let her cry.
• Some kids will hit themselves.
• So what if she makes herself throw up, what’s the worst that can happen?

When you’re in the moment, though, it’s very hard to ignore your child banging her head against the wall or crying so hard she vomits. Though baby boy is not doing either of those things – he really just cries and runs around in a circle for a bit – it’s still hard to ignore the crying fit.

The good thing is that we are more prepared this time around and know that if we don’t pay it much mind, he’ll calm down. We also know that he’s truly just frustrated or upset about a situation and cannot communicate that to us. Reminding ourselves of this makes it easier to distract him from the offense or help him calm down faster.

It’s still tough.

One thing we were told back when baby girl’s tantrums got to a very difficult stage, was that we should start formal time-outs. We had already been doing time-outs, but not formally. We weren’t telling her it was a time-out and we also weren’t using a specific chair. Perhaps it’s time to initiate the time-out ritual with baby boy before his tantrums worsen.

Baby girl’s tantrums did eventually get better. We stuck with time-outs and soon enough, we didn’t even need them. I just can’t remember how long it took us to get to that point. I know that baby boy’s tantrum stage will also pass just as hers did. But, I’m already ready for them to be over.

How long did the tantrum stage last for your kids?

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Disney Baby. I’ll be joining the Disney Baby blogging team next month, and look forward to sharing these kinds of stories with you over there! Stay tuned for more details!

Photo: Chirag Rathod/Flickr

I’m sure many of you are looking for fun activities, games, and fun things to do this summer with the kids. I know that, like me, many of you are also busy with many other responsibilities between work, running businesses, and life in general. With all that goes on in an average week, sometimes it’s hard to get outside with the kids and let them enjoy the outdoors. And yet, outside play is such an important aspect of childhood!

One of our favorite ways to play outside is to head to a local park with a soccer ball and kite. Baby boy and baby girl love to kick the ball around in an open field and we enjoy flying kites with them.

If you need ideas for games and activities you can do outside, you should definitely check out the Let’s Play site, where I’ve been a contributor and have participated as a Let’s Play Ambassador for over a year. Other ambassadors and myself provide play ideas and our stories on raising active kids. You can also take the Let’s Play Pledge on Facebook to commit to an extra 60 minutes of play each week.

Save Play Giveaway

To help you play a little more this summer, Let’s Play is offering a giveaway for three (3) ModernMami™.com readers with a kit full of fun things you can do outside! The “save play” kit includes:

• 1 10’ play parachute
• 1 sand bucket
• 1 jump rope
• 1 carton of sidewalk chalk
• 1 Let’s Play frisbee
• A How to Save Play Card, offering suggestions for saving play and resources like the Playground Finder App and Play Ideas on LetsPlay.com
• Creative ideas for active play with sidewalk chalk (e.g. Save the King, Hopscotch, Roman Ball)

How to Enter

Required entry: If you’d like to enter this giveaway for a save play kit, simply leave a comment letting us know some of your favorite ways to play outside with the kids.

Extra entries (optional):

Each of the following will count as 1 extra entry. You’ll need to leave a separate comment for each entry.

1. Follow @modernmami on Twitter.
2. Tweet the following (1 time only): Get outside with the kids & save play! Enter to win a @letsplay kit full of fun activities from @modernmami! http://bit.ly/LfYPUZ #giveaway
3. Receive post updates by subscribing to our RSS feed. You can do so either via email or through a RSS reader. Leave a comment saying you did so or are already a subscriber.
4. Write a blog post on your own blog sharing the details of this giveaway. Be sure to include a link back to this post. Leave a comment with your post link.

All entries must be in by Sunday, June 17, 2012 at 11:59 pm EST. You must be 18 or older and a U.S. resident. No purchase necessary. Remember to leave a separate comment for each entry. The winners will be chosen using Random.org and will be notified via email. (Please be sure to provide a valid email address with your entry.) Winners will have 48 hours to respond and claim prize, otherwise a new winner will be chosen. Prize will be provided and mailed by giveaway sponsor and ModernMami™.com is not responsible for lost or damaged goods.

Disclosure: ModernMami.com is a member of the Let’s Play Ambassador team, a compensated program.

Photo: markheybo/Flickr

It’s funny how different baby boy is from his big sister, and yet, how alike they also are. They are so alike, in fact, that when baby boy was a few months old, it was just like looking at a photo of baby girl from when she was the same age.

The similarities show up in interesting ways, though, and go beyond the physical. One thing he’s been doing lately is what we call the “pretend I’m sleeping game.” He lays down, pretends to snore (full-on snorting noise), and then sits up looking around the room saying, “Huh? Huh? Huh?” That last part is him pretending to wake up surprised.

His little game is funny, but it’s especially interesting and entertaining to us because his big sister did the exact same thing when she was about his age. And, I mean exactly. She played that game in the very same way and laughed about it just like he does.

To be honest, we’re not even sure where he picked up this game or if he saw someone do it. Baby girl hasn’t done it since she was much younger, so he didn’t learn it from her, for once. He just started doing it one day out of nowhere.

Of course, there are many other things we’ve noticed are the same between our boy and our girl. Some are very obvious and others more hidden. It’s amazing to us how two children can share so much, though they each have very distinct personalities. We’re loving it!

Have you noticed many similarities in your children or are they vastly different?

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Disney Baby. I’ll be joining the Disney Baby blogging team next month, and look forward to sharing these kinds of stories with you over there! Stay tuned for more details!

Photo: Lars Plougmann/Flickr

My brother recently had a baby girl, his third child after two boys. I asked him this past weekend if he felt much different in parenting a girl versus parenting boys. It’s something I think about a lot with fathers since I know they tend to be ultra-overprotective with their daughters. I see this with my own husband too.

Though we’d like to believe we put all traditional stereotypes on gender roles aside, the reality is that much of our parenting is still based on what we know (or believe) to be true about boys and girls. From birth, we act a certain way with our babies, depending on whether they’re boys or girls. Boys are talked to in a stronger voice and told things like, “Nice grip, my man!” by their daddies. Girls are immediately called “little princesses” and spoken to in a softer tone.

It’s not something I’m proud of, but one of my initial reactions to my baby boy was to say, “I didn’t know boys could be so sweet!” It’s not like I thought boys were mean, especially from birth, but hearing me say that, one might think so.

Fathers tend to be more guilty of these things than moms. They are usually the ones to tell their boys to “man up” and typically provide more cuddles to their daughters than their sons. I believe moms usually want to cuddle their boys just as much as their girls, but even we sometimes fall into the trap of treating our kids different based on gender. I’ve caught myself saying things like, “It’s a boy thing,” when describing some of baby boy’s actions. Why is that?

The fact is that a lot of the differences probably have nothing to do with whether he’s a boy or she’s a girl. Differences might just be due to their personalities or a variety of other reasons. Our kids are so complex and so much goes into what makes them who they are, that who knows why they do what they do. Don’t you think?

Have you found yourself acting different when parenting your boys and girls? Do you feel fathers are more guilty of this than moms?

Photo: bingbing/Flickr

Baby girl completed Kindergarten last week. Her first year of school is done and over with and I now officially have a first-grader. Wow.

She was pretty sad about finishing up the school year, mostly because she was feeling like she’d miss her teacher and friends. She came home on her last day of school saying, “I want to stay in Kindergarten another year. I don’t want to move to first grade.” I told her that it would all be okay and that we definitely want to move forward in life, not backward. “Progress is good,” I told her. “Why?” she asked.

Her question stumped me for a second. How was I to explain such an abstract concept of progression to a six-year-old?

I decided to compare it to physical growth – hers and that of plants. She had recently learned of a plant’s life cycle, so I knew it would be an easy connection for her. “If a seed doesn’t progress, then it gets stuck as a seed and doesn’t grow into a plant, right? The same goes for you. You want to get bigger, don’t you?” She nodded and I continued to explain that our minds need to grow too. “If not, we’ll get stuck and we’ll never know anything new!”

She seemed to understand this, but still wished she could stay in Kindergarten and learn new things there. I realized no amount of words were going to help my baby girl in that moment, so I gave her what I knew she needed, a hug.

As a woman, I know that sometimes us girls just need a big hug, without words, to help us feel better. It makes little sense to many, except maybe other women. Sometimes we don’t want to make sense of things, or fix the situation. I know exactly what that feels like and yet there I was trying to “fix” my baby girl’s feelings on finishing Kindergarten. The hug I gave her did so much more to help her than any of my words.

With that hug, I immediately felt a release of the worry in her little body. Since that day, she still sometimes mentions she’s going to miss her teacher, but she hasn’t said anything about wanting to stay in Kindergarten. In fact, she’s made statements starting with, “When I’m in first grade…” I guess she’s showing progress after all.

Were your children sad when they finished their first year of school?