Second Child Syndrome

by Melanie Edwards on May 29, 2012 · 4 comments

in Parenting

Baby boy album

It’s pretty sad to admit, but the truth is that my baby boy is suffering from second child syndrome. Don’t know what that is? It’s when you let go of those “must and should” expectations you had with your first baby.

We all know those things we did, bought, or thought we were supposed to do with our baby, don’t we? More than likely, you soon realized you really didn’t need that baby item. Or perhaps you figured out that it wasn’t such a big deal if things didn’t work out exactly as you read in that parenting book.

When you have a second baby, you are already so much more comfortable and confident as a mother, that you let go of many of those expectations. You know that things won’t ever go as planned and you learn to go with the flow. Unfortunately, this also means you slack on other aspects of parenting that you may later wish you had continued doing.

I think part of the second child syndrome is also due to the fact that you are constantly splitting your time and attention between two children. I certainly didn’t purposely neglect to do some things; it just sort of happened in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Here are a few examples. Perhaps you can relate?

Things I Did With My Girl That Didn’t Happen With My Boy

  1. Memory book
  2. Professional photographs for the milestone months and holidays
  3. Followed behind her every move
  4. Worry about every little thing (as much)
  5. Use all the baby items and gadgets I thought I needed
  6. Freak out when she fell
  7. Stress over how much she ate

Now that I’m more conscious of this, I am trying to be better about it. I’m taking more photos of my baby boy, starting to document more of his moments and special quirks, and generally trying to create more memories. However, I think the reduced amount of worrying (about him falling, eating, etc.) is actually a good thing, since it allows him more freedom and independence.

If you have more than one child, do you think they suffer(ed) from second child syndrome? If not, how did you avoid it?

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Disney Baby. I’ll be joining the Disney Baby blogging team next month, and look forward to sharing these kinds of stories with you over there! Stay tuned for more details!

Photo: jerseygal2009/Flickr

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Latinaish May 30, 2012 at 9:23 am

I definitely had/have second child syndrome! There are many more benefits to it than negatives though in my opinion. I love how relaxed and comfortable I’ve become as a mother. I love knowing what to do in almost any situation and trusting my instincts. The only thing is that I feel a little guilty about is that our first son was kind of a guinea pig. LOL … For example, Carlos finally came around to the idea of speaking more Spanish at home after our 2nd son was born. Because our 2nd child heard more Spanish as an infant, his accent is more natural when he speaks while our first son struggles a little more. Seems really unfair but what can you do?

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2 modernmami May 30, 2012 at 12:03 pm

I do love how much more comfortable I am as a mom and that I don’t second-guess myself (as much). Sometimes I feel bad, though, because I don’t want baby boy to grow up and see what is missing when compared to his big sister. Something as simple as the memory book, you know? Not too late, though, I can still do this!

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3 Yanira December 17, 2013 at 8:19 pm

I was just having this convo with my mother this afternoon! Thanks for sharing.

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4 Melanie Edwards December 17, 2013 at 10:29 pm

Sure thing! I’m sure you’ll find your way at making it all work out. :)

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