Miley Cyrus Lap Dance Not So Bad

by Melanie Edwards on June 28, 2010 · 12 comments

in Parenting

miley-cyrusThough it’s been a few weeks (month?),  I’m sure you’ve heard of the news regarding Miley Cyrus and the so-called “lap dance” video. If you haven’t seen the video, you can see it here. Things like “bad role model,” “did they have sex,” and “another bad move” are all being said about Miley Cyrus and the video.

When I first heard that there was a “lap dance” video out, my curiosity got the best of me and I looked it up. I was half-expecting Miley to be doing a mini strip-tease for some guy. Instead, I just saw a teenage girl dancing. And, my first reaction was not what you might expect. It was instead, “what’s the big deal?” Now, you might not agree and that is fine. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion. But, let me share why I think this is being blown out of proportion:

  • She’s 17…not 10. Actually, at the time the video was shot, she was 16.
  • She’s dancing at a club. This is not a music video for one of her songs or some other piece of promotional material. It was a private moment.
  • Dancing like the one they are doing in the video is standard. At least nowadays – actually, it’s been around for many many years. Heck, I did it when I was even younger than 16!
  • Just because they’re dancing close, doesn’t mean they automatically had sex.
  • Parents need to stop worrying about Miley Cyrus’ “bad” moves. Instead they should just be sure their kids don’t watch the video and/or use it as an opportunity to talk with them about it and whether or not it aligns with their family values.

I have a daughter. She’s 4. I get it. You don’t want negative images influencing your kids. I even wrote about how at this time, Hannah Montana doesn’t belong in our house – maybe in a few years. But, do you really think that it’s Miley Cyrus’ responsibility to ensure your kid is not influenced? Is she not allowed to have her own fun and be a teenager…just because she’s a public figure?

How about if we stop worrying about other kids? Instead let’s make sure that we talk with our kids and become their personal role models.

Have you watched the video? What was your initial reaction?

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

1 EricaMueller June 28, 2010 at 8:42 am

it must be different for different people. I'm 25. There is no way in the world I would dance like that for any man other than my husband, and even for him, never in public. As a tenn I would have been kicked out of the house for such provacative behavior. And, while I probably wouldn't kick my own daughter out she most certainly would be grounded. No, I don't think dancing like that means she had sex. But honestly, when I see a girl (or woman) dancing like that for anyone other than her spouse it says 'look at me, I'm easy.'

just my opinion. I think the way people view this has to do with how they were raised, and their own personal convictions. :-)

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2 EricaMueller June 28, 2010 at 4:53 pm

Since I commented from my phone this morning I thought I'd come back and make myself a little clearer…

I'm not saying that girls/woman who dance this way are 'easy' it's just *my* first impression, once again, due to the way I was raised. :-)

Didn't want anyone to think I judge you or anyone else for how they dance. I actually have a lot of respect for you and your choice to delay the watching of Hannah Montana. You are so right… the show is for tweens, not toddlers. It really bothers me to see 5-6 year olds totally crazy about HM and dressing like her. Tweens, ok. Little kids, no. :-)

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3 modernmami June 29, 2010 at 10:34 am

I think you're right that it depends how you were raised plus the circle of friends and overall culture of where you grew up. In my teen/college years, all of us danced like that. And it wasn't so much dancing “for” a guy like that, but dancing “with” the guy. However, had my mom known or seen me dancing like that…I probably would have been in lots of trouble also. ;)

I didn't think you were judging me, but thanks just the same for the clarification.

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4 Maybelline Valenti June 28, 2010 at 6:35 pm

She wasn't the only one dancing like that in the first place, the music that was playing leads you to that type of dancing, Like EricaMueller I was raised the exact same way but I think there's places where you are allowed to dance like that, she wasn't at her grandmas' 80th birthday!. And I think parents should stop letting TV stars be the role model for their kids, WE should be the role models. I totally agree that this is Taken out of proportion.

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5 modernmami June 29, 2010 at 10:35 am

That was my whole point. Stop worrying about how she's dancing and just let her be the teenager she is. Let her parents deal with it.

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6 scrappinmichele June 28, 2010 at 8:20 pm

I have not seen the video and can't see it from my iPad right now, but I wanted to comment. I agree with you. As parents it is our responsibility to teach our kids values and what is appropriate. All the stuff that goes on has been going on for decades, but it's all in our faces now. My Mom can tell you stories about the bad stuff that went on in the 50s. You just didn't see it blasted on YouTube.

It is not Miley's responsibility to teach our kids. She is a kid herself and she is going to screw up. We are putting adult expectations on a kid and then wondering why she is behaving like a child.

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7 modernmami June 29, 2010 at 10:36 am

You're right. Many things have been around for ages, it's just that now we can be in everybody's business a little easier with pictures and videos being taken left and right.

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8 Cristina00123 July 9, 2010 at 5:01 pm

Teenagers these days will have a tendency to dance like that in public, but in my opinion since Miley is famous for her role as Hannah Montana she should be watching what she is doing and be a good role model for her tween followers. Another great role model girls should follow is Soccer Player Marta. Check out this facebook group with fun tips about her and stuff for girls and teens! http://www.facebook.com/power10club

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9 Cristina00123 July 9, 2010 at 5:01 pm

Teenagers these days will have a tendency to dance like that in public, but in my opinion since Miley is famous for her role as Hannah Montana she should be watching what she is doing and be a good role model for her tween followers. Another great role model girls should follow is Soccer Player Marta. Check out this facebook group with fun tips about her and stuff for girls and teens! http://www.facebook.com/power10club

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10 Cristina00123 July 9, 2010 at 12:01 pm

Teenagers these days will have a tendency to dance like that in public, but in my opinion since Miley is famous for her role as Hannah Montana she should be watching what she is doing and be a good role model for her tween followers. Another great role model girls should follow is Soccer Player Marta. Check out this facebook group with fun tips about her and stuff for girls and teens! http://www.facebook.com/power10club

Reply

11 Cristina00123 July 9, 2010 at 1:01 pm

Teenagers these days will have a tendency to dance like that in public, but in my opinion since Miley is famous for her role as Hannah Montana she should be watching what she is doing and be a good role model for her tween followers. Another great role model girls should follow is Soccer Player Marta. Check out this facebook group with fun tips about her and stuff for girls and teens! http://www.facebook.com/power10club

Reply

12 Gloria Malone December 1, 2011 at 10:10 pm

I’m fully aware that I’m about a century late :) But WHO cares! She’s a 16 year old girl dancing. I totally agree with you! If people stopped worrying about other peoples children and focus on theirs then life would be better for the family as a unit. 
Another thing that bothers me personally is whenever a new tween “star” comes out PARENTS are so quick to have and support their child looking up to this person. Lets face the fact these kids are all KIDS. Teenagers without money and the world at the feet are a handful do what makes a parent think that a famous, RICH, I can literally do and afford anything I want teen is going to be the best role model for their child? Why not get a mentor that you (the parent) knows and trust personally?

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