Photo by Hans Splinter from Flickr

What does balance mean to you?

Is it about balancing you as a person? Does it involve the people around you? Or is it about the roles you play in life?

Let me elaborate a bit on what I mean.

Balancing You

Do you strive for your physical, mental, and spiritual health to be in-line? Does having balance mean you get to enjoy some “me time” every now and again?

I think for some people balance means they ensure they take care of themselves properly. For them, it may not matter if the house is not in order or if all their work got done. That’s not what stresses them out. In order to keep themselves from feeling stressed, they make sure to eat well, exercise, and get that time alone that many crave.

Do you see yourself in this group?

Balance through Others

Do you always take care of others? Is it important to you that your kids, spouse, family, parents, etc., are happy and have all they need from you?

There are those that thrive on helping others. They make sure everyone around them has all they need and do so before taking care of themselves. For them, making sure that others are happy, makes them happy. It’s what keeps them going every day and they may even feel stressed if they’re unable to help.

Are you someone that feels balanced when others are taken care of?

Balancing Our Roles

Do you often feel like you’re pulled in many directions? Do you feel that if you had a handle on it all you would feel better?

We play many roles in our daily lives: employees, wives, husbands, parents, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters – the list goes on. Each role requires different levels of work and some are more demanding than others. For some people, being able to balance all the roles and be in control of each is what helps them feel balanced.

Is this you?

I feel I fit into this last category. It does overlap with balancing yourself and taking care of others, of course. But, the key is that if every aspect is “in control” you feel better about things. You don’t really want to sacrifice one for the other and it’s important to you that the house, work, family, others, and yourself are all taken care of. Self normally being last on the list.

Obviously, it’s impossible for all aspects of your life and all the roles you play to be in perfect harmony. I realize this. For me, it’s more about each being stable. I don’t need the house to be perfect (I let go of that a while back), but I like it to be manageable. I know I can’t take care of everyone, but if I can help, I feel better. And, work doesn’t have to be absolutely done at the end of the day, but I need to make progress.

Like I mentioned when I broke down my daily work and home routine, if I can dip a little into each of my roles every day, I feel like I get “…things done and…there was a good balance of things in my day.”

So, again I’ll ask you…what does balance mean to you? What helps you feel like you’ve got a pretty good handle on things? Is it taking care of yourself, others, or a little of everything?

***More resources on work-life balance

“European consumers believe that mobile technology is enhancing their work-life balance rather than overloading them with communications, according to a new survey by Motorola.”

I came across an article titled, “Mobile technology ‘key’ to the work-life balance,” which starts out with the above quote. I found this interesting because I often hear about people who feel their mobile devices are taking away from their balance. They feel that being so connected and having smart phones or other gadgets is actually adding to the chaos in their lives.

I, on the other hand, have always thought that my smart phone has helped me to keep up with things like email and social media accounts better than if I didn’t have it. I am one to agree with the Europeans surveyed in this study and do believe that in a way, it’s enhancing my work-life balance.

Yes, it’s true that it can be “addicting” and if you let it overrun your life, being connected with so many mobile devices can have the opposite effect. But, I suppose it’s like anything in life – in moderation it can be useful.

Now I want to hear what you think. Do you agree with the Europeans surveyed? Has mobile technology enhanced your work-life balance or overwhelmed you?

This weekend, a good friend of mine mentioned a book she recently read (or heard about) called Men Are Like Waffles – Women Are Like Spaghetti. The idea is that the brain of a man works much like a waffle in that it has divisions and separate containers for each thought. On the other hand, a woman’s brain works like spaghetti in that everything is mixed and intertwined.

Sound familiar?

We proceeded to discuss the idea a bit with a few other friends that were over – the conversation was primarily dominated by women, but did include my husband and my friend’s husband. The men gave good input like reminding us women that when a man says he’s not thinking about anything…it’s really true, he’s not thinking about anything. They said that sometimes some of their waffle compartments are just empty.

For me, that is extremely hard to understand. It seems that everything we do as women affects something else. We’re always thinking of the next thing while doing another. We are great multi-taskers as my friend’s husband was quick to point out. And, that’s great. It often works to our benefit. But, sometimes, just sometimes…I’d love it if my brain could function like a waffle and just focus on one thing at a time. And I’d really love it if I could have some empty spaces in that waffle that allowed me to think of nothing.

Wouldn’t that be nice ladies?

Just think how much more balanced we’d feel if we weren’t always worried about the next thing. Perhaps that’s why the majority of information on work-life balance that’s out there is geared towards women. Men already have it figured out? Or they don’t feel like they have to do it all? And all at the same time? They just focus on each little section of their waffle?

What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this as you think about yourself and your spouse (if you have one) or other relationships you’ve observed.

Photo by Beth Sobel from Flickr

Today has been a very balanced day for me. I was able to work out this morning, did some client work, responded to a few emails, worked on this blog, and even put a load of laundry to wash. For me, that’s a great balance of taking care of myself, working, managing social media, and house work. It’s not much either – you notice I didn’t say I cleaned the entire house. Nor did I answer all emails. But, it was a good bit of each and I feel good with what I’ve accomplished today.

Of course, this is not an everyday occurrence. But, as I get more and more used to working from home, I find that I’m finding little things I can do to feel more balanced. Even if that means redefining what “balanced” means.

But, don’t take my word for it. Check out what others have to say about work-life balance and read their recommendations.

5 Resources with Tips for Finding or Improving your Work-Life Balance

5 Tips for Better Work-Life Balance from WebMD
Something that stuck out when reading this article was when the author said, “You would probably think twice before skipping out on work, a parent-teacher conference, or a doctor’s appointment. Your private time deserves the same respect.”

In other words, do not rearrange your free time and “squeeze in” something else. Treat it just like any other appointment in your calendar.

Work-life balance: Ways to restore harmony and reduce stress from Mayo Clinic
I loved when I got to the end of this piece and read, “Balance doesn’t mean doing everything.”

A lot of times we think that achieving work-life balance means being able to do it all. In fact, it should be about doing what’s important to you, and all that you’re comfortable doing.

Photo by yesterday_once_more0 704 from Flickr

Basic Steps Toward Work-Life Balance from Forbes
The author in this article talked to a staffing company, whose president, Loretta Penn, said: “You don’t have to respond to every e-mail or voice mail as soon as it comes in. Just because someone else deems something a priority doesn’t mean it’s yours.”

It’s a good reminder, especially for us digital moms that are constantly plugged in; just because an email alert popped up on your phone, it doesn’t mean the email has to be answered within 30 seconds. It can wait.

How to Find the Right Work-Life Balance: 6 Steps from Caroline Middlebrook
This was a blog post written in early 2008 by Caroline Middlebrook, who quit her day job in order to start an online business and now makes money blogging. In it she said, “If I’ve not spent enough time with family or not called a friend for a while I’ll get that nagging feeling in the back of my mind…When your life is all in balance you’ll feel good and when something isn’t right you’ll feel bad in some way.”

I know that from time to time I’ll get such a feeling and find myself reassessing the situation and even asking my husband for input. Many times, he confirms that I’ve been off in one area and concentrating too much on another. As the author suggests, trust your instincts.

Top 10 Ways to Balance Life and Work from About.com
This article is geared towards dads, but offers tips that are good for anyone. Tips such as: “Sometimes, the things that suffer in our busy lives have to do with our own personal health…Managing your personal health is essential to balancing work and life.”

I think all parents know about putting your own health last. This too, serves as a good reminder.

What personal tips or suggestions do you have for maintaining a little balance in your life? What have you found works for you?

Check out more work-life balance resources I’ve saved on delicious.

Happy New Year! (A few days late)

I’ve been away for a few days from this blog and took some time to hang out with my family. My brother and nephew were in town from Milwaukee, as well, so it was good to spend some time with them. My nephew has gone back home and though my brother is still in town, it’s time to get back to work and a normal routine. It was definitely good to take a little break and have time to think, though.

Of course, just like when I used to work outside the home, I have tons to catch up on. But, such is life, right? And life always throws you a few curve balls to mix things up a bit. In just 4 days of 2010 so far, we’ve:

• had a scare that our A/C stopped working (thankfully, it was just the thermostat and not the unit itself),
• been denied health insurance coverage for myself and baby girl,
• and found out that baby girl has a loose tooth (her first!)

Some very small occurrences and all either fixable or very minor, but it just goes to show you that there’s rarely a dull moment in life. Hopefully the rest of this week will start to fall into place. Now, I just need to prepare for Los Tres Reyes Magos (Three King’s Day) on Wednesday and I’ll be able to take down our Christmas decorations.

Are you and your house already back to your “normal” routine? As normal as can be anyway.

This is sure to be one of those weeks when the balance fairies need to pay me a visit. With Christmas being ONLY 4 DAYS AWAY, my brother and nephew being in town from Milwaukee, client work to do, a blog to maintain, a house to keep clean, and my sanity hanging by a thread, I could definitely use some magical pixie dust that will help me get it all done.

It’s one of those weeks, when I have to be sure to write everything down, plan, plan, and plan, and remind myself to breathe. I’m sure we all have those times and perhaps many of you are sharing this moment with me this week as well.

With that, I decided to share a few things that I plan to do this week to help:

1. Use SimpleMom’s Daily Docket template to keep track of my daily to-do lists. I may even fill in a sheet for each day at one sitting and plan out my whole week.
2. Divide up my days to split my time between housework and blog/client work. If I specifically designate chunks of my days for each type of work, it’ll be better than just going with the flow of the day and risk getting caught up in one or the other.
3. Cook simple meals that will not take a lot of time. Meals like those on my sample weekly menu that allow for leftovers or two meals to be cooked at a time.
4. Use an online timer to limit my time online. I still want to ensure I don’t go MIA in social media, but I don’t have to be online hours at a time. Using the timer, will help me shut it all down when time’s up.

I’m sure that using these simple ideas will help me tremendously to stay sane. I may not get everything done I hope to, but I’ll feel less scatter-brained.

What do you plan to do this week to help you keep a low-stress level?

Starting today, SpanglishBaby, is hosting 7 days of Mamás Blogueras (Blogging Moms) and highlighting posts about our bi-cultural holiday traditions. I’m honored to be 1 of the 7 mamis being featured! You can find my post up today: Embracing Puerto Rican Christmas Traditions.

A little excerpt for you:

Growing up, we always knew Navidad had arrived in our house when our father began playing his musica navideña. He would break out his tapes (yes, I said tapes not CDs) and play endless Puerto Rican folkloric music.

Click over to read the full post and enjoy reading the remaining 6 posts from other Latina moms.

I spent most of yesterday (and part of last week) in a rut. The “I have no desire to do anything and would rather sit here like a blob” kind of rut. I’ve also been having head and body aches, which have added to my excuses for not doing anything. I’m not sure which came first – the aches or the blah feeling – or if one caused the other. It’s probably a part of my adjustment from working outside the home to now working at home.

Anyway, my point is not to bore you with details of how I’ve been a downer lately. Instead, I want to take advantage of this and share with you what I plan to do to get out of this rut. In doing so, it’ll help me lay it all out for myself too.

My first step will be to just get up and do something. Now this is going to be the hardest part, since as I mentioned, I don’t actually feel like doing anything. But, I have to force myself. It doesn’t have to be something big like cleaning the bathroom or anything. Something small like putting in a load to wash, doing a few of the dishes, or answering some emails. The point is that after I do the one thing, I’ll a) feel like I accomplished something and b) start a chain reaction. Doing the dishes will probably lead to cleaning up some of the clutter off the counters and wiping them down. Or answering a few emails might inspire a blog post to be written. One thing leads to another and hopefully a few more too.

I also plan to get out of the house a bit more. Normally, I’ve just been taking baby girl to preschool then coming back home and staying here. But, yesterday, I noticed that when I forced myself to go to the store in the evening, I came home with more energy. Well, maybe not energy, but at least some motivation. Being outside and running that small errand got my blood flowing I suppose and I came home wanting to do more.

And finally, I’ll share how I’m feeling with my family more often. Instead of just moping around, I’ll let my husband know what’s going on to help him understand. Just talking it out and hearing it all might help me work it out. I can also talk to my mom, who can give me a good old-fashioned pep talk of “get over it and do something”. Sometimes, it’s what you need to hear.

I suppose we all go through days where we’re just out of it and in a rut. I just can’t let it take over because I’d be putting myself and family in a really bad situation. I know that once I start getting a few things done, I’ll get back into my normal groove.

What do you do when you find yourself in a rut? Do you just ride it out or do you do anything specific to get yourself out of it?

Photo: Michelle Gibson

Photo by erin_m

Plenty of people find it difficult to get some time alone. We’re all busy with work, our home life, family, activities, and just life in general. It can be hard to find some time for yourself. But, more and more, I see that women and moms in particular, complain the most about getting some time for themselves – some “me time“.

It seems that men either don’t require “me time” as much as women do or they just don’t admit it. At any rate, it makes sense that parents are often the ones asking how they can get a little time alone and away from the everyday.

I thought about some of the ways that I manage to keep my sanity and balance out my life a little bit. Ok, well, maybe not my life, but my head at least.

7 Ways to Squeeze in “Me Time”

1. Take a break to goof around on the Internet. Whether it be a quick tour of your favorite social media networks or visiting your preferred blogs to read or just simply doing a bit of online shopping, you will be amazed how a few minutes online can easily give your brain a much needed break from reality.
2. Pretend you have to use the bathroom. I know this sounds crazy. Believe me, I do. However, when you’ve got too much going on and it seems like it’ll be a while before you can break from it, this may be a temporary solution. Just lock the bathroom door and give yourself 10 minutes of quiet. If you have a magazine rack in your bathroom or leave a book in there, you can even catch up on some of that reading you’ve been meaning to do. And sweetie…if you’re reading this…I never do this. Ever.
3. Take a shower. Or bath. Make it a LONG one. Don’t rush your shower. Take a few extra minutes to just let the warm water hit your back. Or spend a bit more time working the shampoo into your hair. If you can take a nice relaxing bubble bath, then even better!
4. Enforce bedtime. Make sure that your kids stick to their bedtime. I can’t tell you how much I love the 2-3 hours each night after my baby girl goes to sleep. Most of the time, I end up spending this time either working or watching some TV with my husband, but there’s times that I get those hours all to myself if I plan in advance.
5. Meditate. Pray. Reflect. Whatever you call it and however you do it, taking some time to think about things can do wonders for clearing your head of all the noise. You can easily do this while driving, cooking, or cleaning.
6. Exercise. Go for a 20 minute walk. Do a quick yoga routine. Or dance along to some music.
7. Go grocery shopping. It’s something that needs to be done anyway, isn’t it? Leave everyone else at home and go by yourself. You may even get the shopping done faster than normal (but not TOO fast, ok?).

Photo by Alejandra Mavroski

These tips may not be glamorous. They may not include a night out on the town with your girls. But, they’re realistic and can offer some simple yet effective ways for you to feel like you’re getting a little “me time” in for yourself. Also? I hope it’s obvious that if you have kids, you’ll clearly need to have someone supervising them when you’re getting your “me time“. Especially if you’re locking yourself in the bathroom.

How do you find some time for yourself? What do you normally do with your “me time”?

Photo of woman by: erin_m

Photo of water by: Alejandra Mavroski

Today’s the day and I haven’t done one thing to prepare for it. Unlike last year where I was hosting and cooking Thanksgiving dinner at our house, this year my mother will be hosting. So, my contribution is to show up and be hungry. I am bringing an apple pie that baby girl requested we make, though.

Anyway, the important thing is that my daughter will be around extended family and will have fun seeing all the different food, people, and sharing with her family. As she gets older, she’s understanding more and more about the different holidays and what they all mean. In previous years, she was just dragged along for the visit. But, this year, she knows we’re celebrating a special occasion and even understands the overall meaning of Thanksgiving.

When asked what she wanted to do for Thanksgiving she answered, “I want to give someone a BIG turkey!” Another day she came home from preschool with a picture of us she drew and at the bottom the teacher had written:

I’m grateful for…my family!

You can tell they asked each of the kids, as I saw different answers up on their board.

I love that family is her answer. I am so proud of her and am just floored by how much change I can see in her as she grows. It’s interesting that I share her answer, since I too, am grateful this year for the lovely daughter I have. I’m grateful for the family that we’ve become.

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving! Enjoy your families.

Share with us one thing you’re grateful for this year.

Photo: Coconut Recipes