You know how a lot of women say they dreamed of their wedding ever since they were little girls? For me, I would think about my Quinceañero. Ever since I learned about this tradition and knew that I’d have a choice of celebrating with such a party, I knew that I wanted one. I’d sit and think about what I wanted the room to look like, what kind of dress I’d wear, and who’d be there, much like one does when preparing for a wedding.
My two older brothers had been provided with a trip to New York City to spend the summer with family when they both turned fifteen. When my turn came about, I too was given a trip as a choice, or I could have a Quinceañero to celebrate my birthday. I chose the party.
What is a Quinceañero?
Similar to the American custom of a Sweet Sixteen, a Quinceañero (sometimes referred to as a Sweet Fifteen) is a celebration of a young girl’s fifteenth birthday and signifies leaving childhood behind and beginning the journey towards womanhood. It is celebrated in many Latino countries in different manners, but is generally a rather festive occasion.
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I had a nice, quiet, lazy weekend. One where I pretty much unplugged the entire two days. I had a lot of hang out time at home with my family and we rested – no going anywhere or errands to run. It was actually really nice. I think my body and mind needed it after the traveling I did this month and it seemed to be enjoyed by the husband and baby girl as well. Her and I even took a nap together.
The only thing I’m regretting about this weekend is that I didn’t go visit my parents. The last time my baby girl and I saw them was the weekend before. It’s harder to visit them during the week since the week entails a busy work/school schedule for all of us. So, it’s much easier to visit on Saturdays or Sundays. Since we didn’t visit this past weekend, it’s now a little over a week since we’ve seen them.
And, the guilt sets in.
Why is it that even though we had a very nice weekend, I still manage to have that one little thing that is pulling at me? I’m content with how we spent our time, but feel guilty that I didn’t carve out time to go and visit them. Since many of us play so many roles – wives, mothers, daughters – I am wondering if this is a “woman” thing. I know that men also play multiple roles, but for some reason, I don’t see many men stressing if they go over a week without talking to or seeing their extended family. In fact, I know a few who can go over 3 weeks without talking to their parents.
In our Latino culture, family is ultra, mega, important. In my immediate family, we don’t make it a habit of not talking to each other for extended periods of time. Actually, I think I’m already pushing the limits by not having a daily phone conversation with my mother; I usually talk to her every other day. And like I mentioned, we often see each other on at least a weekly basis, if not more – she does live only 15 minutes away from me.
So, does anyone else who lives close to their parents struggle with this? How do you keep the guilty feelings away if you happen to concentrate on yourself or family and don’t include your role as a daughter/son for a few days?
